Audio on top of email 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 16

Thank you, Betty

Have FUN!
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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an English man jailed for having stun gun disguised as mobile phone after police accidently set it off Details at Boneheads Today, September 15, in 1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the battlefields. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ >From Jim, received yesterday, 9/15/2015 On this day in 1950 I, with thousands of others, made the invasion of Korea at Inchon. I was a Combat Corpsman with the First Marine Division. Needless to say, it was a long and uncomfortable day but I can see now that it was used to toughen us up to worse days which were to come. They came, and they were worse. Please pray for our veterans. We all need your prayers, support and understanding. God Bless! Jim Crismon HMCM USN RET. Jim is one of the "Frozen Chosen", who survived the 50/51 winter battles at the Chosen Reservoir, where they were surrounded by ten divisions of Chinese soldiers, but managed to break out and fight their way to Ham Hung and rejoined the main part of the US forces. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Easterner was riding with a rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of West Texas, when a strange bird scurried in front of them. Asked by the Easterner what the bird was, the rancher replied, "That's a bird of paradise." The stranger from the East rode on in silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from home, isn't it??" The Easterner had to walk the rest of the way. ______________________________________________________ Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that! ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Neaverson, 61, Rainham England
English bank robber told teller to put the money into his bank account. Paul Neaverson walked in to a branch of NatWest in Rainham and held a knife to the cashier's neck. Neaverson then asked the cashier to transfer the money into his own account. He gave the cashier his own bank details, apparently because he needed money to book a flight to Corfu for a job interview as a golf coach. Somehow the cashier managed stifle her laughter long enough to hit the panic button. Neaverson fled but only went as far as a branch of HSBC just 400ft away. He tried to hold up that bank too. Danny Moore, defending, told the court that his client has never been in trouble before and described his attempt to rob the banks as "ridiculous". He said: "It was ridiculous. It only had one ending and here it is. He has led a law-abiding life and now finds himself staring down the barrel of a very long sentence indeed." Neaverson pleaded guilty to two attempted robberies and possession of a blade. He has been jailed for two years.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: Audio on top of mail Dear Webby, I would like to place walter winchel's opening [good evening mr.and misses america and all ships at sea] as an opening on email with this possible? he can be found on you tube dan Dear Dan You can certainly paste that on top of your email, but I would not advise auto-noise like some of the most obnoxious of spammers use. You would get yourself permanently blocked by almost everybody. Almost nobody likes sudden noise blaring out, just when the boss is walking by. Forget that idea! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Bar Soap as Emergency Deodorant I remember 'umpteen' years ago my fifth grade assistant teacher told us girls, "If you're ever out of deodorant and need an emergency fix, wet a bar of soap and rub it under your arms." I have used this tip several times over the years and it really does work to help curb the odor - when in a pinch!:) This is also a good way to avoid using the aluminums found in antiperspirants. Source: Thanks to Ms Brown.:) By Geee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work. "When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people. "When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever. "When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever. "However, the neon sign out front that reads: 'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go! ___________________________________________________

Don't go to the shark's house!
____________________________________________________ "I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.' " ____________________________________________________
25 Natural wonders that will inspire you to travel.

Today, Sept 16, in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after rebelling 
 against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born Prince of Wales. 
1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship 
 arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at Plymouth, 
 MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers onboard. 
1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 
1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on document 
 to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the British. It was 
 the first official use of the impression. 
1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel Hidalgo 
 y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent, declared Mexico's 
 independence from Spain in the small town of Dolores. 
1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds of 
 thousands of settlers. 
1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy" Durant. 
 The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds car companies.
1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training 
 and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft 
 in U.S. history. 
1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program 
 for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War. 
1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be ordained 
 as priests and bishops. 
1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, 
 women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese  
 Christian militiamen. 
1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an effort 
 to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of harmful 
 chemicals by the year 2000. 
1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5 billion 
 in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. 
1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on the first 
 untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 
1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss classics 
 "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places You'll Go." 
2015  smiled.

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