How many copies of Open Office before you have to pay? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 30.

Thanks to Noella for the info about the Dallas photographer:

Here's the photographer & his web site
"Looking Up" by Mike Mezeul II
September 27 at 10:59 p.m.

Have FUN!
DearWebby With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 30, in 1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. -- Arthur Koestler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure He's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?" ______________________________________________________ A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Nancy doesn't go to church much anymore. She's a Seventh Day Absentist. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, 40, West Palm Beach, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop A Florida man is behind bars after being accused of tossing a liter of "deadly urine" at a police officer. Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, was arrested Tuesday morning after a Palm Beach County deputy responded to a call at his house. When the officer knocked on the 40-year-old man's door, the suspect allegedly greeted him with a big splash of urine from a liter bottle, according to the Palm Beach Post. It is unclear who or what supplied the urine. Police are describing the pee as a "deadly weapon" because urine can cause respiratory infections or permanent bodily harm, according to the report. Loftin then barricaded himself in his house for several hours. Police tried unsuccessfully for several hours to get Loftin to surrender before they kicked a hole in his door and shot him with a stun gun. Police attempted to arrest Loftin, but the 6-foot, 3-inch, 300-pound suspect allegedly resisted by kicking, flailing and tossing more urine, according to Police said Loftin threw the open one-liter bottle at deputies before grabbing a K-9 officer by the head. That is probably when they tenderized him. They don't like it at all when somebody touches their K-9. Loftin was arrested on two counts of aggravated battery on a police officer and two counts of resisting an officer with violence. He remains in the Palm Beach County Jail on $36,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elsinore Re: How many copies of Open Office are legal? Dear Webby How many copies of Open Office can a company have, before they have to strart paying? Elsinore Dear Elsinore One Gazillion, I think. There is no limit. Open Office uses the Open Standard and is totally free and unlimited. You can have as many copies on as many computers as you want, all networked together and/or separate. Open Office is free. Period. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's well BBQd". ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Making Salt Clay This clay is really cool. It is way cheaper than the stuff at the hobby shops! If you add alum, it will eventually harden on its own. If not, you can bake it and you are ready to paint your project and display it. Have fun! Approximate Time: a few minutes Yield: 1 large ball Supplies: 1 1/2 cup salt 4 cups white flour 1 1/2 cup warm water, more if needed 1 tsp alum, for self hardening, optional Steps: Put your salt and flour in a large bowl. Mix well. Add your water, mix well. Turn out onto the table and this is what you should have. I added about 6 tablespoons more water. Whatever you do, add it gradually. Too much water will ruin your clay. Knead till smooth, smiley face optional. If you have added alum, simply leave your project out in the open air and it will eventually harden. If not, bake small shapes in a 300 degree F oven for 30-40 minutes, or until hard. Store unused clay in an airtight container. Source: Little Hands art book By melissa [191] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submaweenes." ___________________________________________________

ferry docking in Greece
____________________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In Canada they say: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?" In England they say: "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?" In Afghanistan they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?" ____________________________________________________
These pilots are pretty awesome.

Today, Sept 30, in
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 
1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due 
 to advancing British forces. 
1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would 
 make it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 
1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction 
 after administering ether to a patient. 
1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 
1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power 
 plant began operating. 
1935 "The Adventures of Dick Tracey" debuted on Mutual Radio Network. 
1935 "Porgy and Bess" premiered in Boston. 
1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
 Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis and returned to Germany. 
1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, 
 found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 
1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 
 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the 
 Soviet blockade. 
1951 "The Red Skelton Show" debuted on NBC-TV. 
1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at 
 Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The 
 submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954. 
1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side 
 of India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 
1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at 
 midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 
 20-year sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments 
 and von Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 
1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate 
 the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners 
 were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on 
 September 13, 1971. 
1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. 
 The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation 
 in the U.S. 
1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace 
 the pound. 
1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled 
 out by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 
1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV. 
1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an 
 accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 
1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they 
 had captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the r
 esiding government forces. 
1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic relations. 
1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand 
 Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. 
 Aristide was later returned to power. 
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at 
 turning millions of Russians into capitalists. 
1993 U.S. chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell 
1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission. 
 Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote 
 areas of the Earth. 
1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its silence 
 during the persecution and deportation of Jews the pro-Nazi 
 Vichy regime. 
1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility 
 after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear 
 chain reaction. 
2014 Amazon filed for a patent for a UAV (unmanned aerial 
 vehicle) configured to autonomously deliver items to customers. 
 The patent was related to Amazon's plan for their Prime Air 
2015  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 12 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 343 )

<<First <Back | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | Next> Last>>