Email with no line wrap 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 4

We got snow this morning.
Gullible Warming is now definitely over. 
The "Ice Age Is Coming" scare mongering has now officially 
started.
It's still your fault. 
The grant recipients pretending to be scientists, will shortly 
adjust the theories, so that they can continue to get 
Government grants. 

Taxes will have to be increased to cope with you causing
Gullible Cooling and the glaciers galloping down into the 
valleys.

For the short term invest in snow shovels.
For the long term invest in bikinis. There will be another
Gullible Warming period in about 25 years. 
The cycles are unbroken.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a PA burglar arrested while wearing same old Superman t-shirt Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3, in More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --- Jean Kerr [Actually, the complete expression is: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.] Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mary and her new boyfriend were at her son's volleyball game when she noticed an adult couple in the bleachers. They were being VERY affectionate. She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear. He had a hand on her chest. Mary said to her boyfriend, "I don't know whether to watch them or the game." He said, "Watch THEM! You already KNOW how to play volleyball." ______________________________________________________ During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kyree Henneghan, 18, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania
PA burglar arrested while wearing same old Superman t-shirt Police in the Philadelphia suburbs say the Man of Steal was undone by his Superman T-shirt. The Philadelphia Daily News (http://bit.ly/1j2FlJO ) reports 18-year-old Kyree Henneghan was charged with two Upper Darby burglaries that police linked him to because of the shirt. Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood says a man wearing a T-shirt with the Superman shield broke into one home on Sept. 24 and a second on Tuesday. In that heist, the homeowner walked in and Henneghan bolted with a laptop computer. Henneghen made a not-so-speedy getaway on his BMX bicycle and police found him a short time later still wearing the Superman shirt trying to sell the computer to men in a car.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darrel Re: Bad email format Dear Webby About 75% of the mails I receive are formatted nincely, with the text flowing and word wrapping properly, when I narrow or widen the window, but the other 25% the lines stretch endlessly to the right and are impossible to read. It is worst when those mails contain a copied text or forward. What causes that? Darrel Dear Darrel Would my guess be correct that a quarter of your mail comes from AOLers? There is probably nothing you can do to get them to send mail properly formatted. About all you can do is hit REPLY. Then YOUR email program will properly line-wrap it and make their mail readable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Yummiest Microwave Omelet I have been seeing the "Plastic Bag Omelet" on many websites lately. That may be a great idea when you need to make an omelet whilst camping. You only have a pot of boiling water and 20 minutes, but it's my personal choice not to boil my foods in plastics. If you are looking to make an omelet without oil or butter and only have a few minutes, this microwave omelet is your answer! Approximate Time: 4 minutes Yield: 1 large omelet Ingredients: 3 eggs 1 clove garlic salt & pepper to taste 1/4 cup onion, diced 1/4 cup bell pepper, diced 1/4 cup cheese 1 Tbsp salsa Steps: Crack eggs into a medium/large microwaveable bowl and whisk. Grate in a clove of garlic. Season with salt and pepper. Mix well. Drop in remaining ingredients. Mix well. Microwave on high for 2 minutes. The edges will have begun to solidify. The middle will be slightly runny. Give the middle a gentle stir with a fork. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Run a knife or small spatula along the sides of omelet to lift off bowl until you get under it. It will slide right off into your serving plate. Garnish if desired. Enjoy! By attosa [123] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ PUN WARNING: At a church meeting the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!" ___________________________________________________

dogs are happy to talk about their day, except when . . .
____________________________________________________ An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was." ____________________________________________________
I wouldn't even walk this trail let alone ride a motorcycle over it!

Today, October 4, in
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was 
 printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 
1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in 
 New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 
1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces 
 both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen as 
 British victory, which actually served as a moral boost 
 to the Americans. 
1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas 
 formally dedicated by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. 
1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 
1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in 
 St. Louis, MO. 
1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The 
 area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 
1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 
1931 The comic strip "Dick Tracy" made its debut in the Detroit 
 Daily Mirror. The strip was created by Chester Gould. 
1933 "Esquire" magazine was published for the first time. 
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at Brenner 
 Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to fight the British. 
1948 The Railroad Hour" debuted on ABC radio. 
1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the 
 Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. 
 Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 
1958 British Overseas Airways Corporation became the first jetliner 
 to offer trans-Atlantic service to passengers with flights between 
 London, England and New York. 
1981 Bruce Jenner and Harry Belafonte debuted in their first 
 dramatic roles in NBC-TV's "Grambling's White Tiger". 
1987 NFL owners used replacement personnel to play games despite 
 the player's strike. 
1990 The German parliament had its first meeting since reunification. 
1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 
1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman Ruslan 
 Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a ten-hour tank 
 assault on the Russian White House. The two men had barricaded 
 themselves in after Yeltsin called for general elections and 
 dissolved the legislative body. 
1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through the 
 streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant being 
 taken prisoner by Somali militants. 
1994 South African President Nelson Mandela was welcomed to the 
 White House by U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The Vincent Van Gogh exhibit opened in Washington, DC. 
 The exhibit featured 70 paintings. 
1998 Davis Gaines performed as the Phantom in the show "Phantom 
 of the Opera" for the 2,000th time. 
2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their airfields 
 and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and early-warning radar 
 planes in the war on terrorism. 
2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. The 
 airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the United 
 States on September 11, 2001. 
2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It was the 
 first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice 
 within a two week window. The ship won the Ansari X Prize of 
 $10 million dollars for their success.
2015  smiled.


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