No Word-Wrap in some emails 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 5

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh paddy-wagon inmate kicked other woman in face after victim farted near her Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3, in 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter- he's got to just know. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that he left his left-turn indicator on and seems to have forgotten about it." ______________________________________________________ GROANER ALERT: What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpies! (A canarial disease, but it's untweetable.) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These too bloomed today. They are in the lean-to against the side of the house. You see the stucko of the house. The walls and top of the lean-to are hollow, 1/2 inch thick greenhouse plastic, that is now about a dozen years old, but still keeps the weather out and the warmth in. Because the palstic is getting old and milky, shadows and contrast are muted, but the cacti still look great. ______________________________________________________
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Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeanelle Callahan, 48, Clearwater, Florida
Floriduh paddy-wagon inmate kicked other woman in face after victim farted near her As she was being transported to jail, a Florida woman became “irate” and kicked another female detainee in the face after the victim “‘farted’ near her,” police allege. Jeanelle Callahan, 48, was busted Thursday afternoon after she punched her male roommate in the face, according to an arrest affidavit. Callahan, who was reportedly “highly intoxicated,” left the man with a bloody nose. Following that misdemeanor collar, Callahan was placed into a jail transport, where she encountered Virginia Turner, 60, who had been arrested for trespassing. Both women were handcuffed in the police vehicle. En route to the county lockup, “the suspect claimed that Virginia Turner ‘farted’ near her,” reported Officer Stephen Zulauf. Callahan became “irate” and attempted to strike Turner in the face with her elbow. Callahan then “raised her right leg and kicked Virginia Turner’s right side of her face.” Turner did not fight back during the attack, which was recorded by the vehicle’s camera system. Callahan, who was already facing a battery rap for punching her roomie, was hit with a second battery count for attacking Turner. She is locked up in the county jail on $1000 bond. Turner was released from custody Friday afternoon.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darrel Re: Bad email format Dear Webby About 75% of the mails I receive are formatted nincely, with the text flowing and word wrapping properly, when I narrow or widen the window, but the other 25% the lines stretch endlessly to the right and are impossible to read. It is worst when those mails contain a copied text or forward. What causes that? Darrel Dear Darrel Would my guess be correct that a quarter of your mail comes from AOLers? There is probably nothing you can do to get them to send mail properly formatted. About all you can do is hit REPLY. Then YOUR email program will properly line-wrap it and make their mail readable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man appears at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't send for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replies. "I know, lady," the man says. "Your neighbor did." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Yogurt as a Substitute for Butter I've had great success baking with no-fat, plain yogurt instead of butter. Baking powder biscuits, spice cake, bread, muffins; everything's turned out great thus far. Butter isn't necessarily bad for us. I remember my grandfather slathering it on his toast and he lived to be a ripe old age. On the other hand, he was a farmer and worked very hard physically. Few of us put out that kind of effort on a daily basis. By Rose Anne Hutchence [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a heart condition." ___________________________________________________

Anastasia Petrik ( 9 years old) from Ukraine
____________________________________________________ A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness said. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's absurd," screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?" "I had a flashlight," the witness said. ____________________________________________________
Twenty-one things you need in your dream home. I like the stair cases and slides.

Today, October 5, in
1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at 
 the Battle of Thames when American forced defeated the 
 British and the allied Indian warriors. 
1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to 
 the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the 
 Canadian border. 
1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later 
 founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an 
 independent manufacturing company. 
1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a 
 transcontinental airplane flight. 
1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington 
 after flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The 
 flight originated in Japan and took about 41 hours. 
1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" 
 of aggressor nations. 
1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised 
 presidential address from the White House. The subject was 
 the current international food crisis. 
1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at 
 Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered 
 U.S. air space and landed without being detected. 
1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 
1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 
1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around 
 the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. 
 He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 
1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a 
 Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman 
 died in prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 
1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus 
 after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his 
 country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms 
 reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 
1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 
1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bonsian combatants. 
 The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 
1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on 
 the international space station to keep the cash-strapped 
 Russian space agency afloat. 
1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge. 
2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the 
 entire state of Florida after a successful test in the 
 Tampa area. 
2015  smiled.

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