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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 5

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DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Shoplifter charged after he whined about his store mugshot Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 6, in 1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord. The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light. --- Vicomte de Chateaubriand (1768 - 1848) The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. --- James Baldwin (1924 - 1987) Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. --- Stephen King (1947 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, cheap medicine. This drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor. "But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?" "Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped. ______________________________________________________ A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband. The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "Oy vey! I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor! A RRRRRRich Doctor!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
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Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Allegretto, 23, Cambridge, England
Shoplifter charged after he whined about his mugshot The incident: A store posted a picture online of a man whom they'd caught shoplifting. The appropriate response: Not shoplifting if you're not comfortable with that type of exposure. The actual response: He complained to police that his human rights were being violated. 23-year-old Nicholas Allegretto attempted to steal a magnet from Mackays, a hardware store in Cambridge, England. He was caught outside the store and made to give the magnet back. He then ran away. After the incident, the owner of the store took a screencap of Allegretto from the security camera footage and sent it to the local newspaper to print. Speaking to the Daily Mail, store owner Neil Mackay, said, "[We were] basically saying to him: 'We know who you are, our staff knows who you are, you're not very welcome, thank you very much indeed. We'd rather you didn't come in the store." The image was also posted on social media. According to Mackay, Allegretto then went to the local police station to complain that his "human rights were being abused." The Cambridge News reports that Allegretto told police he had lost his job as a roofer and his sister had been bullied at school as a result of the image's publication. "The police decided they had enough evidence once they looked at the CCTV images to prosecute, and that's what they've done," said Mackay. Allegretto was charged with theft. He was supposed to appear in court on Wednesday, but didn't show up. He was found guilty in his absence. "I suppose you could say he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box," said Mackay. Which is a funny thing for him to say, because he owns a tool shop.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darcy Re: Video converter Dear Webby I have to convert MOV video to MP4. A friend suggested I use Miro, but that outfit seems to have taken the money and ran far away. Their download is straight malware and no browser will allow it. Their support is totally phony too. ConvertMovToAvi is a dud too. It produces a black MP4 file. DUH! Do you know of any, that are actually working and safe to download? Thanks Darcy Dear Darcy I checked and tried a bunch. MIRO is definitely a 'has-been'. Luckily all the browsers protect you from that crap. Miro 'support' seems to be the malware producers and are not interested at all in being told that their downloads are malware. Eventually I did find a good one: AnyVideoConverter. Their entrance at http://www.any-video-converter.com/ is a bit confusing. Here is a link straight to their FREE Download: AnyVideoConverter Download AnyVideoConverter works fine for me. You c an go back to their main entrance and see whate else they have, that might be useful for you. They have all kinds of fancy stuff, for example for ripping Netflix or rented movies to DVD. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's mother asked him, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?" "Because of an absence," he replied. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" she questioned. Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who normally sits next to me was." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Super Duper De-Greaser Now you finally have something useful you can make with all those annoying little soap slivers. You don't have to throw them out anymore, make an all purpose kitchen cleaner! With a few minutes and virtually no cost, you can have a bottle full of de-greaser ready to go. Re-duce, re-use, go green! :) Approximate Time: 20 minutes Yield: 22 ounces Supplies: 1/4 cup finely chopped soap slivers 1 Tbsp borax 2 3/4 cup water empty spray bottle funnel Steps: As you can see, I opted for intact fingers and chose to chop the soap with a knife. The pieces are just too small. :) Add 1 cup of water to a pot. Add your soap. Stir continuously with a fork or whisk over medium/high heat until soap is dissolved. This should take about 5 minutes. Soap soup, smells really clean! Add this mixture to your bottle. Add the borax. Add remaining 1 3/4 cups water. Replace top and gently tilt back and forth to combine. Make a new label so you know what it is. :) All set! Great for grimy stoves, oven hoods, microwaves, etc. Source: Modified from an idea in a book called Make It By melissa [199] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours." ___________________________________________________

Lee Marvin sings - manstyle
____________________________________________________ A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life." the twenty proclaimed. "I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise from Miami." "Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around." "So tell me", says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ, ...." The twenty says, "What's a church?" ____________________________________________________
What beautiful scenes of animals and nature.

Today, October 6, in
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord. 
 The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a 
 neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San 
 Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on 
 February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in 
 America near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 
1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out for 
 selling beer. 
1884 The Naval War College was established in Newport, RI. 
1889 In Paris, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the 
 public for the first time. 
1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had 
 patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 
1890 Polygamy was outlawed by the Mormon Church. 
1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist 
 leader Chiang Kai-Shek. 
1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against 
 Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 
1949 U.S. president Harry Truman signed the Mutual Defense 
 Assistance Act. The act provided $1.3 billion in the form 
 of military aid to NATO countries. 
1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families 
 to build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event 
 of a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 
1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win 
 back territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel 
 war. Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo 
 against many nations including the U.S. and Great Britain 
 on October 17, 1973. The war lasted 2 weeks. 
1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit the 
 White House. 
1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony 
 was held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. 
 It was Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 
2015  smiled.


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