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Today is Sunday, October 11

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. --- Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804) Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. --- Charles Kuralt ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clyde An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." ______________________________________________________ A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told me that I will be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet music!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, Denver, Colorado
Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later It was the doo doo that did him in. Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, is accused of burglarizing a Denver pre-school and church in August 2014 and was caught due to a DNA test of a pair of poopy shorts left in a bathroom at the crime scene. A pre-school employee noticed the crap-stained clothes and put them in a plastic bag before the police arrived, according to the arrest affidavit. The responding officer took the contaminated shorts into evidence, but it took 13.5 months for them to worm their way through the forensic labs, according to Lynn Kimbrough, a spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney. "In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken of anyone who is arrested for a felony," Kimbrough told HuffPost. "So when they ran the unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system." Kimbrough didn't want to venture a guess as to what the poopy shorts smelled like after more than a year. Hendrix is accused of stealing two guitars from the church and numerous electronic items from the school, with a combined total value of $4,072. He was charged earlier this week of two counts of burglary, two counts of theft, and one count of identity theft, according to the arrest affidavit. The suspect was already in custody in the Colorado Department of Corrections on unrelated theft and drug cases when the s*** hit the fan, according to the Denver Post. Hendrix is is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on Oct. 16 to be formally advised of the charges, according to CBS Denver.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karl Re: Multiple browsers Hi Webby, Another great thing about running two different browsers side by side is you can have two accounts with the same company open at the same time. For example, I sometimes have my work gmail account open while having my personal gmail account open. If I only used one browser, I'd have to sign out of one or the other. Right now I have 3 browsers open. Firefox, SeaMonkey, and Lynx. I've had as many as four. People still use Lynx? I'm limited to five gigs a month. I read a lot of news articles on Lynx because it doesn't download all the crap on web pages. The average Lynx page download seems to be about 37K. Versus the 2-3 megs per page using a regular browser with javaScript enabled. Is it HTML 5 that brought us the bottomless webpage? God, I hate that. All those self loading videos and ads. It burns a lot of bandwidth plus it slows the system down. If you have anybody in the Denver area that's interested in making the switch to Linux, you can put them in touch with me. Karl Dear Karl Good point! Sometimes, when I am in the middle of a form on a borwser and don't want to leave that page, I open a different tab, but when I already have a lot of tabs open, then it is definitely better to open a different browser. I agree, for just reading text nothing gets even close to good ol Lynx on Linux. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Ed I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "they're for my girlfriend". The little 5 year old said, again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too! Man, you really must have f****d up!" Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the other passengers bust a gut laughing. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Homemade Cat Litter Box After seeing a nifty cat box with a high price tag, I decided to make my own. It is a tote with a hole cut in the top of the lid. I had empty totes already so that didn't cost me anything. The litter does not get kicked out at all. Occasionally some is tracked, but it is way better than it being kicked out. My cats love it too. Additionally, I did buy a cat pan set that has two pans and a sifter for like $18 at one of the big box stores. The solid pan fits perfectly in my tote. I still have to disinfect the big tote, but not as often as I do the inside pans. Overall, it is less cumbersome. By mreynolds [1]] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!" ___________________________________________________

360 frying pan dance
____________________________________________________ The Burgess Hill Town Council in the UK, in response to a worker's complaint that sunlight coming through the window caused a glare on her computer screen, has already had three meetings, six months of discussion, contact with several contractors, produced a six page report, worked up five potential alternatives, their favorite being the spending of up to $10,000 to put computer controlled screens on the outside of the window or coat the window with reflective film, but whose Town Clerk has decided to solve the problem by moving the desk away from the window. ____________________________________________________
Tales and pictures of feral sad.

Today, October 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle 
 of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict 
 Arnold suffered heavy losses. 
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put 
 into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went 
 between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. 
 The electric machine was used for counting votes for the 
 U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 
 because there was no way to rig it for cheating. 
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film 
 for cameras. 
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British 
 and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a 
 nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter 
 from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. 
 atomic program rapidly. 
1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. 
 The probe did not reach its destination and fell back to 
 Earth and burned up in the atmosphere. 
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned 
 Apollo mission was the first in which live television 
 broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra, 
 Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the 
 astronauts aboard. 
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went 
 out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant 
 Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service. 
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female 
 astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger. 
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay 
 rights measure in the state was unconstitutional. 
2015  smiled.

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