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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 13

A couple of days ago I noticed that my new neighbors in the 
East had a huge pile of oversize garbage bags filled with 
leaves, and their lawns were already getting covered with 
leaves again and looking just like mine.

I looked at the sky and noticed the beginnings of an arch.
That is a sign of an impending Chinook. (Stormy wind from
the West, 40 gusting to 65, sometimes higher).

On today's walk I noticed that my lawn was clean. No leaves.
My neighbor's lawn had the truckload of bagged leaves gone,
and their lawns were covered with leaves again.

It helps to have obstructions, like my row of Saskatoon 
berries, in line with the wind.

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC man, who was arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became known as the White House in 1818. After that the Americans walked up to Canada and burned down York (Toronto). More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?' 'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill him!' ______________________________________________________ The following ad appeared in a newspaper. Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. Good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. (The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy was an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for sending this picture: Back Of Crescent ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Doggett, 53, Spartanburg, South Carolina
SC man arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, according to an arrest report. When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.” Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her grandchild with her.” So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911." Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he remains locked up this afternoon). Pictured above, Doggett has not been cited for misusing the 911 system, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Many Re: Font Color From all the replies I gather that the problem is monitor brightness. I send the font color "Navy". So does Ophelia. Most people find that more readable and more relaxing than black. Now, get this: Some people like the fonts "Black, as they are now." Some people like the fonts "Blue, as they are now." And the majority likes the fonts "Navy, as they are now." That indicates to me that 1) Some people have their monitor set too dark, and they see the Navy colored fonts as black. 2) Some people have their monitor set too bright, and they see the Navy color as Blue. 3) That the majority have set the brightness optimally for their eyes, and they see all the colors as intended. I shudder to think how beautiful flowers or sunsets get trashed, if the colors are shifted. Turn the monitor brightness a tad, up or down, until my fonts look "Navy". Easier on the eyes, and colors are more natural. Just use the font color to calibrate the overall brightness. You can do that with the buttons at the bottom of the monitor, and with some monitors even from Windows. Neil sent this link: Calibrate" target="_blank" > ... ;Calibrate colors from Windows Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and talons and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks. "I won't hurt you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Egg Cloud Recipes I love this recipe because it only has two ingredients and turns into something deliciously elegant. With the high prices on eggs these days, this is nice way to stretch your money. Approximate Time: 10 Yield: 3 clouds Ingredients: 3 eggs 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking pan with parchment paper. Separate your egg yolks from the whites. Whip the egg whites at high speed for a few minutes until stiff peaks form. Fold in the Parmesan cheese. Divide the fluffy whites into 3 cloud shapes on the baking sheet. Using a spoon, hollow out a well on each cloud where you will be dropping your egg yolk. [Later] Bake egg white cloud for a few minutes. Remove from oven, and drop an egg yolk into each cloud. Bake another 3 minutes. Enjoy your beautiful creation! By attosa [125] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ How to build a camp fire 1. Split dead tree limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Find a dry match and light it 8. Borrow a lighter and use it to light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene." 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Relabel can to read "gasoline." 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. Apologize for burning down all the tents and the outhouse 17. When thunder storm has passed, gather more firewood and try again, applying lessons learned in steps 1-15. ___________________________________________________

school lunch
____________________________________________________ It may still be summer where you are, but in South Carolina it's the season of the big fall mosquitos. The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and have a picnic." The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us." ____________________________________________________
What people in 1900 thought the year 2000 would look like.

Today, October 13, in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet. 
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
 the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became 
 known as the White House in 1818. 
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown 
 Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. 
 invasion of Canada. 
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry 
 Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an 
 armistice with the Allies and declared war on their ally, Germany. 
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed 
 at Piraeus. 
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for 
 the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on 
 an hour long special. 
1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the 
 new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of 
 the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and 
 one minute. No passengers, just lots of fuel.
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in 
 San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 
2015  smiled.

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