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Today is Wednesday, October 14

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast her wild ride on Periscope. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 14, in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, they don't recognize you. ______________________________________________________ While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955." "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Whitney Beall, 23, Lakeland, Florida
DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast her wild ride on Periscope Drinking and driving don't mix, but it's an especially dangerous cocktail when you're live streaming your wild ride on Periscope. Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app to broadcast herself, according to WFTV.com. Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people livestream events over social media. Police said Beall told viewers she was "drunk," F---ing drunk," and didn't know where she was. At one point, she said had a flat tire, according to Fox13.com. Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down her Toyota Corolla. Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone in order to track the suspect, according to WTSP.com. When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb, according to WFTV.com "I really hope I don't get a DUI," she allegedly said seconds before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video. When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes, according to TBO.com. Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges. She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: PDF reader Dear Webby I hope all is well by you. I have heard some good things about Nitro PDF reader. I wanted to know if you heard anything about it. Dave Hi Dave Yes, I have written favorably about it, and have used Nitro for many years. It is quite OK. Using it to fill forms takes a bit of experimenting. You almost have to read the instructions! Once you get used to it, though, it works quite well. Scan your signature and save it as a jpg or pnp file. Then you can even insert your signature onto a form, and then fax it, without ever using up any of YOUR paper. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart, with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome.. The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick Bread from Dumpling Mix I ran out of bread today, so I tried making up two packets of dumpling mix into a loaf. It came out light and aerated. The texture looked a little rubbery, so I sliced and toasted it. The crust was a bit brittle and tended to flake off when slicing. It tasted really nice toasted. I am thinking of experimenting with rolls next time. The mix that I used required only water to be added, so possibly a good option for an emergency food kit. By Verity Pink [38] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called, "I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you." There was no answer for a moment and then a strange voice faltered, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman." ___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing? Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world." The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts will pass away." Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE! If you put this on a cat's butt, he'll pass a Harley Davidson, maybe even a Kawasaki!" ____________________________________________________
Leaky concrete. This is amazing!

Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 
1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film 
 "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. 
 Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued 
 with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene 
 of the shooting. 
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed 
 record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the 
 League of Nations. 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather 
 than face execution after being accused of conspiring against 
 Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade 
 liberated the city of Athens. 
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American 
 to break the sound barrier. 
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, 
 began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested 
 the idea of a Peace Corps. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. 
 intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet 
 medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. 
 President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the 
 naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft 
 was transmitted from Apollo 7. 
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death 
 of President Nasser. 
1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in 
 Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians 
 of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running 
 Northern Ireland. 
2015  smiled.

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