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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arrested for attacking a Karaoke DJ over mic volume Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 28, in 1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us. --- Jerry Garcia, (of the Grateful Dead) "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ______________________________________________________ Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation." She answered back, "It's supposed to!" ______________________________________________________ Kansas My friend shared this tree with me. I thought you might enjoy it too. Be safe and careful. You are a valued person. Janice ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Fort, 26, DeBary, Florida,
Florida man was arrested for attacking Karaoke DJ over mic sound The only record this karaoke singer will have is a criminal one. A man in DeBary, Florida, was arrested Thursday morning after police said he assaulted a karaoke DJ at Blackie's Bar. Joshua Fort, 26, was performing the Jay Z and Justin Timberlake jam "Holy Grail' with another man, when he sounded a discordant note at the job being done by DJ Omar Isaac, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. Police said when Isaac didn't pump up the volume on Fort's microphone, the suspect responded in a way that speaks volumes. First, Fort grabbed the DJ’s laptop computer and slammed it shut. Then witnesses said the suspect threw a glass at Isaac that hit the DJ on the side of his head. Fort is also accused of pulling the DJ to the dance floor and throwing him on the ground there, according to WNDB.com. Fort fled the scene, but later turned himself into the Volusia County Jail, where he was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He was released on $5,000 bond. The suspect told police he ran from the karaoke bar because because he “knew he was going to be in trouble” and that “everyone would point fingers at him,” according to a police report obtained by WNDB.com. Before his arrest, he was treated at a local hospital for injury to his left hand. Because the alleged crime centered around karaoke, the Florida Sun-Sentinel suggested the suspect be shipped off to Sing Sing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Tracker PDF editor Dear Webby, PDF Exchange does have a free version that is likely to be close to the same as Nitro. On their main page, in the upper left corner just below the banner is a graphic that says Get Free PDF Viewer now. If you click on that graphic it will download the free viewer. I liked their product so much that I purchased it, but I have many pdf docs that I must edit and annotate. http://www.tracker-software.com/ Neil Dear Neil Thank you for that info! Marlene also reported on that: "this is a program I have used for several years. this version is free" Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Molasses Sugar Cookies This is a crisp spice cookie. I make them every Christmas and give some away for gifts. They were my late mother's favorite and it reminds me of her when I make them. Approximate Time: About 15 minutes plus 1 hour chilling and 8-10 min.baking time Yield: Approximately 3 doz. Ingredients: 3/4 cup shortening 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup molasses 1 egg 2 tsp baking soda 2 cups flour 1/2 tsp cloves 1/2 tsp ginger 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt Steps: Melt the shortening in a 3 or 4 quart saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat and let cool. Then add sugar, molasses and egg and beat well using an electric hand mixer. In a separate bowl combine the flour with the rest of the dry ingredients. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together. Chill for 1 hour. Form into 1 inch balls and roll in granulated sugar. Place on a greased cookie sheet, a silicon mat or parchment paper. Space about 2 inches apart. Bake at 375ºF for 8-10 minutes. Source: A recipe on the bottle of Brer Rabbit Molasses By Diana W. [12] You can drastically cut down on the sugar and increase molasses to get traditional soft gingerbread cookies. You have to add more flour until you can roll the dough into balls. They will melt into flat cookies in the oven. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now." ___________________________________________________

the internet cloud is not where you think
____________________________________________________ A passenger train in California is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ---------------- Yeah, I remember a train like that in Austria. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Out of Cascade? Wanna know what happens when you use about a quarter-cup full of Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher? Well, I did one day! I'm in my bedroom curling my hair to go somewhere, and I hear one of the twins in the kitchen. "Uh, Noella? I think you need to come in here." "Why? You guys need to get ready." "Uh, Noella? There's suds all over the floor, Lots of suds, they're covering the whole floor!" I groan, walk into the kitchen, and sure enough, there ARE suds all over the floor. They're headed for the computer sitting on the floor just a few feet away. The boys bring lots of towels from the bathroom and I call my husband, who is laughing his head off. His solution - get out my Rainbow (dust and dirt is sucked into a container of water) and start vacuuming the water out. You know what happens when you vacuum suds with a Rainbow? The motor starts sounding funny. So, I shut it off and open it, to find that it took the water out of the dishwasher okay but now suds are way up in the motor. I did remember the salesman told us that if that ever happened, disconnect from the water housing and run dry. Now not only is the floor still covered with suds, there's more water plus oil on the floor. And we've got to be somewhere in just a few minutes! Moral of the story is - unless you want to use LOTS of towels to sop up water, never, ever use Dawn dish soap in your dishwasher! ____________________________________________________
Someone had a lot of time on their hands centuries ago!

Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the 
 American Revolutionary War. 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor 
 by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and 
 is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty 
 Enlightening the World." 
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use 
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known 
 as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 
 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. 
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government 
 and introduced fascism to Italy. 
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that 
 he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective 
 guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, 
 was completed. 
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard 
 Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin 
 serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply 
 deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled 
 guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion 
 pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug 
 after the government of France demanded it do so. 
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a 
 complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the 
 troops there would be home by Christmas. 
2015  smiled.

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