Thesaurus for Open Office 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 7

Thank you, William!

Happy 29th birthday, Noella!

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 7, in 1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?" ______________________________________________________ It's time to do my bi-annual rant about auto-responders. Every now and then some smooth-talking moron manages to persuade otherwise quite reasonable people to use auto-responders to embarrass themselves. If YOU are one of those, stop and think for a bit, before you have lost all your friends. What does an auto-responder accomplish ? 1) Everybody puts your address into their spam filters, because they are not interested in the silly drivel of your auto-responder. 2) People forget that now all mail from you automatically goes into the garbage, and they don't believe you when you tell them that you answered their mail. NOTHING else EVER gets accomplished by a personal auto-responder. Commercial auto-responders that reply with up-to-the-minute fresh road reports, or the weather, or inventory of daily specials if you write to a certain address, those are useful, because they supply information that you requested. However, does anybody really need to know that Dingbat's computer admits that it has received the mail that you sent her (since you sent the mail to HER and not the Easter Bunny, you more or less expected that anyway), and that Dingbat is too lazy or too drunk to answer you right now, or that she never answers after 5PM? Well, you expected that too, so why repeat the never changing obvious facts ? If you have an auto-responder, do yourself and your friends a favor and get rid of it. Then get yourself a new address and get re-aquainted with your former friends who thought you had died when all your mail got filtered into the garbage without anybody ever seeing it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bob for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Grimes, 30, Daytona Beach, Floriduh
Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. A would-be thief allegedly decided to drop in for dinner —literally—at a Florida eatery Tuesday evening, WESH reports. Police say diners at Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet in Daytona Beach heard noises coming from the ceiling shortly before 30-year-old Justin Grimes fell through it. Patrons sprung into action, holding Grimes down until officers arrived. According to WFTV, police believe Grimes got into the ceiling through the bathroom and was attempting to make his way to the restaurant's office to steal money when he fell through the ceiling. WESH reports the restaurant's manager found broken ceiling tiles and a pair of shoes in the office, but it's unclear how they got there. Grimes has been charged with burglary.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your train!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Spanish Rice My grandmother, who was Mexican taught me how to cook this Spanish rice. Now my son who is 24 and living on his own, makes his own. Approximate Time: 20-30 minutes Yield: 6 or more servings Ingredients: 1 cup long grain white rice 3-4 green onion stalks, cut small (more or less, depending on your taste) 1 small ripe tomato, diced 1 1/2 cup chicken stock, warmed 1 can (small) tomato sauce (I use the spicy tomato sauce, but it's a matter of taste) Adobo seasoning to taste pepper to taste 2 Tbsp oil, any kind of your choice 2 Tbsp butter (not margarine, or I can't Believe it's not Butter) Steps: Saute the green onion and rice until the rice is slightly browned and has a nutty smell to it. Add the tomatoes and stir in. Then add the warmed chicken stock and tomato sauce. Season with the Adobo, or salt and pepper to taste, then add the butter. Simmer 18-20 minutes, or until rice is done and all liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. Source: My grandmother By Cathi Cates [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love... enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!" ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day M'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, what is going to happen to your pants when you hear the price?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I love to take pictures and was excited when I found out that I was going to get to go to the ocean in Florida. I'd never seen the ocean. I got up early, went out to the beach and waited for the sun to come up so I could get a sunrise picture. The sky was full of clouds and though it was getting lighter, I never did get to see the sun rise so I gave up. I decided to go back to the hotel and as I got into the car, I turned around and there was the sun, bright and shining. It had come up behind one of the casinos. Totally missed it! Noella ____________________________________________________
I prefer the house in the mountains where there is peace and quiet.

Today, November 6, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the 
 American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony for heresy. 
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by 
 William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was 
 shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying 
 to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as 
 an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by 
 Albert H. Hook. 
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote. 
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first 
 transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional 
 government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led 
 by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United 
 Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington 
 state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension bridge had 
 opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first person 
 to win a fourth term as president. 
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television commercials. 
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland, OH, 
 becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that college 
 students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose their 
 draft deferments. 
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the 
 War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage 
 war without congressional approval. 
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of Justice. 
 The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11 Supreme 
 Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist guerrillas 
 belonging to the April 19 Movement. 
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had 
 been president since the country's independence in 1956. 
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia, 
 becoming the first elected African-American state governor 
 in U.S. history. 
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's first 
 African-American mayor. 
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested positive 
 for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was retiring 
 from basketball. 
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on 
 the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no contest 
 to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been arrested in 
 Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted 
 to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first president's 
 wife to win public office. The state of New York elected her to 
 the U.S. Senate. (New York) 
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying.
2015  smiled.

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