Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 
82 year old gramma

Details at Boneheads
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Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.
--- Aesop

Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen,
let adversity teach him.
--- Ethiopian Proverb
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Late one night during bad weather, the following was
heard over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over
Heli-pad 1."

Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding
at 3000 over that pad!"

There was a brief moment of silence.
First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"

______________________________________________________

Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, Dear," he said.
"Of course, Tim," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry
Lawrence."

"But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said.

With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!"

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Tougher than hockey
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


Adam Tanzer,
26,
Palm Harbor,
Florida



Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 
82 year old gramma

A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the 
ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card, 
which he needed to buy cake,” police allege.

Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly 
victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor, 
a community about 25 miles west of Tampa.

According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground 
“in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands 
and hip.

Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her 
debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was 
yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and 
caused Bliss to fall on her hip.”

The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by 
Bliss, who did require medical treatment.

Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 
65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday 
afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with 
his grandmother.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Adele
Re: Skype picture messed up
Dear Webby,
All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of
a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers 
and green mudpack. Terrible!
How do I get my picture back?

Adele

Dear Adele
Your 1976 glamor shot is gone.
You will not get that back.

You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture,
like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture,
or browse for an acceptable one.
A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand 
daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is
entirely up to you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

>From Jean
A  woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's 
temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?"

The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do.
Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for 
no reason. It scares me."

The doctor says, "I have a cure for that.
When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take 
a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just 
swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves 
the room or calms down."

Two weeks later the woman comes  back to the doctor, looking fresh  
and reborn. 

The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my 
husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished 
and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water 
do that?" 

The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing. 
It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick." 

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Alternative to Wet Wipes

Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good 
for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with 
some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my 
toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap 
and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you 
are going to use and wipe!
It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non 
so young!
By Donna [294]

Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better.
They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried.

Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better.
Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from
aunt Louises's blouse? No problem.

Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina
pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was
recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia
and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was
followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia
and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his
memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as
well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.

It was the hardest spelling test he ever took.

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GoPro falls into pit 
of rattlesnakes
(the guys are going to love this one) 

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At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in
the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a
piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress
there.

All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in.
They observed the connection between the waitress and
the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive
remarks trying to get the trucker to start something.
But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill
and walked out.

One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like
your boyfriend ain't much of a man."

The waitress just leaned on the cash register and
looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't
much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over
three bikes out there."

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Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he
returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed
him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for
you to come home," she said.

"What an example of true love," Dave replied.
"I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"

"Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and
I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and
my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door."

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Noella's Blunders
I used to love shopping downtown at the large department 
stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one 
floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's 
usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days.

Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not 
paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into 
someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back 
to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a
person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round 
supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're 
apologizing to the supporting post of a building? 

Noella
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Well, this is different.





Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in 
 central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart 
 in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in 
 December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 
 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be 
 executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was 
 put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped 
 in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the 
 cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be 
 the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was 
 cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
 husband. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 
 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was 
 the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two 
 CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to 
 time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old 
 Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2015  smiled.

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