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Today is Thursday, November 12

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man for leading cops on a 100 mph chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 12, in 1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of the garment that is named after him. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ______________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge difference to your life and is just what you need. Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for you." ______________________________________________________ Fast moon ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana Z. Jones, 21, Rushville, N.Y.
NY Indiana Jones Leads Cops On 100 MPH Chase A man named Indiana Z. Jones is accused of leading deputies in Yates County, New York, on a chase that reached upwards of 100 mph, according to the Associated Press. Authorities said the wild ride began Sunday evening when Jones tried to evade a traffic stop in his hometown of Rushville, according to The alleged "temple of zoom" lasted six minutes and reached 100 mph before deputies deployed stop sticks in Benton that punctured the tires of Jones' 2002 Audi A6, according to the Elmira Star Gazette. Jones was charged with unlawfully fleeing a police officer, reckless operation, speeding and having an unregistered, uninsured and uninspected vehicle, according to He was later released on $1.000 bond. No attempt was made to reach Harrison Ford for comment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Browser not working on VISTA Dear Webby, I have an older HP computer running Vista, For the past two days, I have been unable to access the internet, I've run CrapCleaner and it shows that Firefox is running but nothing is showing on the monitor. I can "force close" it on CCleaner but when I go to turn it on, NOTHING ! Internet Explorer is on the machine but that doesn't work, either, so I am hesitant to uninstall FireFox and then try to reinstall it. I know it's an old computer and I am holding off buying a new one. Until now it has been satisfactory for my needs. Any suggestions???? I have a 3 Year old Toshiba laptop running Windows 7 which accesses FireFox and the internet so I am not without Facebook but I do miss a lot of my other programs. Many thanks for any advice tom Dear Tom Vista was never any good or very secure, but Microsoft still supports it. Considering how many Million XP computers are still working fine, the problem is not the choice of operating systems, no matter what the computer peddlers tell you. It seems your Vista computer is infected. Run Malwarebytes. Once your infection has been fixed, FireFox should work again. You might have to update FireFox, but no need to uninstall it. You might have to download Malwarebytes on the Toshiba and copy it over to the HP via local network. To see if you have Internet access, or a modem / cable problem, click on START type cmd and hit ENTER in the DOS style screen that pops up,type tracert If you have a proper Internet connection, it will trace the route from you to You can, of course, also try any other domain, that you think should be up and running. If you don't get a trace route, check your cables. Have FUN! DearWebby DearWebby Ran Malwarebytes and it appears to have done the "trick'. FireFox is up and running as are all my other internet programs. Seems like there were problems in the registry which were corrected by Malwarebytes. Many thanks for your advice. Hope all is well with you physically, Obviously, mentally you are still functioning at the top of your game. tom :-) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Removing Sharpie from Faux Leather I was able to remove Sharpie permanent marker from faux leather using WD-40. It came off super easy and didn't damage the finish. Good luck. By HARISN9000 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!" ___________________________________________________
Graphics - making of a TV series
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, nine dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ____________________________________________________ While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When I was new in the work force, I was told that because I had not yet worked a month, I would not get Veterans Day. OK, fine, no big deal. So I showed up at the usual time, and found that the entrance was locked up. I knew, however, that the back door by the dumpster was rather sloppy, and one of the girls, who had locked herself out accidentally when emptying her garbage, got back in by using her credit card. So I figured I would try that, but found the door was not really locked. So I went to my station, tunred on the lights and started working. About two hours later the big boss and four cops showed up and asked me what the heck I was doing. It was a lot funnier for them than for me, but I did not get in trouble. The boss explained things for me, and gave me a Twenty for my work, and then they escorted me out. Noella ____________________________________________________
What a fantasy land of photos.

Today, November 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor 
 shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard 
 at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of 
 the garment that is named after him. 
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent republics. 
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet Union. 
 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading to 
 Stalin coming to power. 
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was played. 
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began 
 between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major 
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was 
 sunk off the coast of Norway. 
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange 
 National Bank in Chicago, IL. 
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki 
 Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking out 
 home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor, 
 closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since 1892. 
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first NFL 
 head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons. 
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from 
 Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of 
 Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Brezhnev
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared 
 the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in 
 prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A. 
 Walker Jr. 
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement that 
 said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone solely 
 because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum Throne. 
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock with 
 the Russian space station Mir. 
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death in 
 Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for 
 constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993 bombing 
 of the World Trade Center. 
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form 
 Daimler-Chrysler AG. 
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take 
 off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed into 
 the Rockaway Beach part of Queens. All 260 people aboard killed. 
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the Kabul, 
 Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance at this 
 point was reported to have control over most of the northern areas 
 of Afghanistan. 
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc. 
 that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of dollars 
 in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was 
 the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade Center 
 was the tallest building in the United States. The height was measured 
 at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth tallest building in 
 the world at the time. 
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with the 
 U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that would create 
 the world's largest airline. 
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian military 
 equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen entering Ukraine in 
 convoys over several days. 
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its lander Philae 
 to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The comet was 
2015  smiled.

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