Does Malwarebytes clash? 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Friday, the 13th ! 
be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding after a car chase. now she's really in doghouse Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Myranda Skinner, 28, FRANKFORT, KY
Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding -- now she's really in doghouse A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an officer noticed a license plate that had been reported stolen. Authorities say Skinner, the driver, tried to run over an officer when the suspects' vehicle was briefly stuck at a dead-end road. Police say the pursuit led to the car crashing through a gate at a golf course, with the suspects fleeing on foot. A K-9 unit found Wells inside the bed of a truck and Skinner, of Lexington, in the doghouse. The suspects were indicted Tuesday on numerous charges, including fleeing police.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Superantispyware clash? Dear Webby, I have superantispyware on my computer. is it ok to download and use maleware bytes ? Wendy Dear Wendy Yes, sure. won't clash with it. Just beware of copycat sites with fake versions. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna!" ----------- Smart girl! They learn how to spread long before they learn how to cook a decent lasagna. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Too Much Cream Pushed out of Tube If you accidentally squeeze too much out of a tube, you can get it back in. Put the cap back on the tube. Squeeze the tube with the cap on. Remove the cap. The excess contents will be back in the tube! If you squeezed out a huge amount, you may have to repeat the process, but it will all go back in. By Judy [25] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Bob what the problem is. "Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of those women's questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble." "What kind of question?, asked Tom. "My wife asked me in her longwinded and complicated and confusing way, if I would still love her if she was old and fat." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah", said Bob, "That's what I did, except I was confused by the longwinded question and mixed up the tenses and said 'Of course I do.'" ___________________________________________________
- the horse won't let him go
____________________________________________________ While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ____________________________________________________ That reminds me.... About ten years ago Julie, one of my clients, was doing web design on the side to help get her Micro-Fiber wholesale business off the ground. One of her design clients was some woman who claimed to be a psychic and fortune teller. To make a long story short, that woman's psychic abilities were so poor, she could not even fortell that Julie would insist on getting paid for her work, and that Julie has friends. I used a dialectizer program to translate the psychics web site into Elmer Fudd style. Then Julie uploaded that to the psychic's site and changed the password. After that, of course, it was written in the stars and quite predictable, that the psychic woman would pay up quickly. After she found out that her fuming and threatening just made Julie laugh even harder, she did pay up! Here are some examples of how a dialectizer works. I'll take a quote and translate it: "A little madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King." --- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) ================================= "A widdle madness in the Spwing Is whowesome even fow de King." -- Emiwy Dickinson (1830-1886) Elmer Fudd is just one of the many dialects that can be selected. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Shortly after my first marriage, we had an elderly couple from our church over for home roasted barbecued chicken. While the chicken finished roasting, I tended to a few other things on top of the stove. I set the table and eventually dinner was ready; everyone sat down to eat as I set out the last of the food - the barbecued chicken. To my dismay, it wasn't just charred barbecue, it was burnt to a crisp. Apparently since the oven's knobs were about waist high on the front of the stove I must have leaned up against them and turned up the heat while doing something else. My elderly guest wryly remarked that he thought burnt offerings stopped when Jesus died on the cross. You do NOT want me in the kitchen! Noella ____________________________________________________

Today, November 13, in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, 
 "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, 
 except death and taxes." 
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe 
 and called it the "frankfurter." We now know it as the "Wiener".
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between 
 New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering 
 the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial 
 segregation on public buses. 
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to 
 orbit another planet, Mars. 
1977 The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers 
 for the last time. 
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense 
 Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the 
 U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He 
 denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that 
 they had been sent to improve relations. 
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 
1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the 
 North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. 
 President Bill Clinton. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that 
 would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured 
 with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II 
 that a president had taken such action. 
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for 
 $1.65 million in Google stock. 
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The 
 discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar 
 Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 
2015  smiled.

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