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Today is Monday, November 16

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to New York robbers, who were arrested when cops followed their trail of spilled macaroni salad Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 16, in 1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex With love and patience, nothing is impossible. --- Daisaku Ikeda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal, went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention . . ." ______________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23 Mt. Morris, New York,
3 Robbers arrested after cops follow a trail of macaroni salad Never trust the macaroni salad. It'll turn on you when you least expect it. This, after police in Mt. Morris, New York, apprehended three burglary suspects Sunday by following a trail of macaroni salad they left behind while making their getaway. In a release published Monday morning, the Livingston County Sheriff's Office reports thieves broke in and stole a cash register from Build-A-Burger Restaurant, along with the establishment's entire surveillance system and a large bowl of macaroni salad. Deputies were hot on the criminals' trail, literally, as they attempted to escape via the nearby Greenway Trail. "Found along the trail were cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and a steady trail of macaroni salad," the sheriff's office said. "It was later discovered that the suspects stole a large bowl of macaroni salad, which they took turns eating, along their escape route." Officers arrested Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, and Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23, by early Sunday afternoon. The three have been charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and fourth-degree grand larceny. Walker faces additional charges for criminal possession of a controlled substance, say police. Per the Democrat & Chronicle, the three have been booked into the Livingston County Jail. Most of the stolen property has been recovered.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Not getting Noella's Videos Dear Webby, OK, I'M BACK TO NOT GETTING NOELLA'S VIDEOS. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING IN MY SETTINGS TO FIX THIS, ANY IDEA? BONNIE Dear Bonnie The videos worg fine even from the letter you forwarded. I will add a plain text link for you. Let me know how that works out. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Squeeze Bottle for D.E. Application I found a cheap and easy way for spreading food grade diatomaceous earth. A squeeze bottle makes it easy to dust under leaves and hard to reach places to kill bugs. It works really well in the chicken coop for getting into the places any chicken lice could hide. It also works well for killing fleas in the carpet. Just buy a plastic condiments squeeze bottle, add some diatomaceous earth, and squeeze away. It has quite a range too! The one I bought was $0.80 at a local store. I like the squeeze bottles with a cap, so that it stays dry between uses. By Bella Blue [46] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!" ___________________________________________________
Men's brains vs women's brains
Men's brains vs women's brain ____________________________________________________ "Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!" ____________________________________________________ A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ____________________________________________________ Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Remember when we had to defrost our freezers? The way I did it was heat a pan of water, place it in the freezer and along with a hair dryer, start chipping at the ice with a hammer and thick knife or even a screwdriver. It went really fast. One day I was chipping away and was almost done. I loved getting that last big piece of ice out. But then I heard a funny sound like a hiss! It kept hissing and hissing, then finally stopped. Needless to say, the next phone call was to the repair man. He probably loved people tried to do it the "easy" way. I am so, so thankful for frost-free freezers. Noella ____________________________________________________
These ski masks are wild!

Today, November 16, in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the 
 American Revolution. 
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle 
 patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established 
 diplomatic relations for the first time. 
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football 
 for Charlie Brown. 
1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial 
 of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with 
 massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in 
 Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. 
 That pipeline is still working fine.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been 
 developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of 
 HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic 
 "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident 
 from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for 
 almost 18 years. 
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, 
 aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a 
 carefully selected group of teachers and students. 
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal 
 for the North American rights to a book about her affair 
 with U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file 
 discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor 
 contracts require arbitration. 
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was 
 shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her 
 wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 
 of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to 
 visit Communist Vietnam. 
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 
 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 
2015  smiled.

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