Keyboard for laptop 

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Today is Monday, November 17

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who was arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red seas. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." ______________________________________________________ When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the men sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Liann Gae Watson, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida woman arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes A woman in Lake County, Florida, is facing charges after she allegedly called 911 for chicken wings. Liann Gae Watson, 45, is accused of calling 911 Wednesday afternoon and telling the operator she wanted chicken wings and cigarettes, reports. The responding officers reported that, when they showed up at Watson's home in Clermont, she said she had been drinking and was unable to drive, so she called 911 for the items, according to The wing-craving woman also kept asking to bum a cigarette and tried to get the deputies to drive her to get some, reports the Orlando Sentinel. Watson kept switching between hysterical laughter and hysterical crying and yelling during her conversation with police, according to the arrest report. Watson was then taken into custody on charges of misusing the 911 system. On the way to the Lake County Jail, Watson kept smacking the partition in the squad car with her head and shoulders, kicked her legs into the air and cursed and screamed, according to a police report obtained by The suspect was given four warnings to stop and when she didn't, she was hog-tied to prevent her from hurting herself. Watson has been charged with one count of misusing the 911 system. She was later released after posting $1,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Keyboard for laptop Dear Webby, My laptop is really hurting my wrists. You have mentioned a few times that you lug a regular size keyboard with you even into the desert. What kind of keyboard would I need for my Acer Aspire 8735 ? Thanks Annie Dear Annie Any keypoad, that is comfortable for your hands would work. Go to any computer store and demand to try out their keyboards, not just look at the box. Some of them look very nice, but have mushy keys, that will tire you out fast. Look for a light key action, but not too light. You don't want it to start typing when you just rest fingers on the keys. Ideally, you would want a bit of initial resistance or push against your fingers, and then snap home with a "tactile click". You should get a noticeable feel of the key slamming home. That is especially important if you are reading text or numbers and typing them in without watching the screen. Just play with them until you find one you like. Don't look at the price! Your wrists are worth a lot more than the difference between the cheapest and the most expensive keyboard, especially since the difference in price is less than what a wrist bandage costs. Regarding compatibility: They all work. Wireless is of course more expensive, but unless you want to slouch on the couch and use the big TV screen as your monitor, you can usually save money by using a regular, wired keyboard. Higher quality keyboards like a Kensignton will let you type faster and will last longer. Even though they are more expensive initially, because they last much longer than no-name bargain keybolards, they wind up saving you money. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On the last day of class, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer. ___________________________________________________
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind?
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind? ____________________________________________________ Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!" ____________________________________________________ Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level like we did, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that, sometimes the staff usually needed to be sedated too. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From DW One time about twenty years ago I was in Nashville for a brief visit to a town near there. On the way back I decided to go visit the Outback Steak House. I thought I could find it after having seen it from the air. Well, no such luck. So I asked a friendly local. "Ohh, you jess drive down this here road to where the ol firehall was, the one thet berned down a few years ago, and hang a left right there ann go up to wehre they are plannin to build a McDonalds next year. From there you could jess about see it if that big ol school was not in the way." Great! Thank you Ma'am. I went back to the hotel and cranked up MapQuest. Noella ____________________________________________________
Our nurses today think they have it rough! These ladies were really dedicated to the nursing profession!

Today, November 17, in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1800 The U.S. Congress held its first session in Washington, DC, 
 in the partially completed Capitol building. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from 
 Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1962 Washington's Dulles International Airport was dedicated 
 by U.S. President Kennedy. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was 
 released by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1982 The Empire State Building was added to the National Register 
 of Historical Places. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in 
 Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World 
 War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first 
 time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2015  smiled.

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