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Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 29

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 29, in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been given orders to camp there. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. --- Dame Rose Macaulay (1881 - 1958) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!" ______________________________________________________ One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! ) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Icy park ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hector Anaya Segura, 29, in jail in Arlington, Virginia
Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed A man visiting the Washington, D.C. area for a conference on drug reforms was charged with possession of the drug bath salts after police found him completely naked in a flower bed, police sources told News4. Police took 29-year-old Hector Anaya Segura into custody after responding to a call for a naked man in a flower bed on Crystal Drive in the Crystal City neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, just after midnight Sunday. Segura was sweating profusely, screaming profanities and began pounding on a police cruiser, sources said. Officers attempted to subdue him without violence, then used a Taser unsuccessfully, sources said. A Taser was used again after the first attempt seemed to have no effect. Segura, a Mexican citizen, was in town for the 2015 International Drug Policy Reform Conference at the Crystal Gateway Marriott. The event brings together people who think the war on drugs does more harm than good. Segura also is charged with disorderly conduct.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jessica Re: Extra characters Dear Webby, You mentioned a program once for all the odd keys and symbols like 3/4 and micro, etc. I didn't need it then, so I didn't download it. Can you please give me the link again? Thanks Jessica Dear Jessica ExtraKeys is at www.deeproot.co.uk/extrakeys.html It is free. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mexican Black Beans This simple yet scrumptious side dish, and will be you're new pal for when you're in pinch and need something easy : ) Approximate Time: 1 hour 10 minutes Yield: A lot! Ingredients: 2 cups dried black beans 4 cups water Queso Fresco cheese Ortega hot sauce 1 Tbsp salt (plus salt to taste) Steps: Bring water to a boil. Mexican Black Beans Then pour in beans, along with salt. Cook for one hour or until tender. When beans are done, strain out all of the water with a strainer. Then mash beans with whatever will do the job (Note: You do not have to mash them all the way). And that's all! Just top with the cheese and hot sauce, plus salt and you're all set! Enjoy : ) Mexican Black Beans By luciere100 [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ___________________________________________________
Tim Hawkins - Old Rock Stars
____________________________________________________ The FORCE The force is like Duct Tape - it has a dark side, it has a light side, and it binds the universe together! ____________________________________________________ If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH stands for O as in Dough If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbor If TTE stands for T as in Gazette If EAU stands for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'd like for all you guys to think that I'm not a total klutz, but sometimes even I wonder. So I tried to lick an envelope the other day for a Christmas card, and it wouldn't seal. It was a brand new envelope too. It was about then that I noticed the strip to peel off. Noella ____________________________________________________
The fall leaves are absolutely breathtaking from this ancient Ginkgo tree in China.

Today, November 29, in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a 
 militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 
 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had 
 surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been 
 given orders to camp there. 
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the 
 rotary dial instrument. 
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made 
 by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland 
 prior to a Soviet attack, after which Finland asked germany 
 for military help. When WWII was almost over and it was
 quite obvious that the Allies would win, Finland switched 
 sides and told germany to leave.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic 
 proclaimed. 
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called 
 for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. 
 with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice 
 before landing off Puerto Rico. 
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew 
 members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after 
 takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl 
 Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 
1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced 
 that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become 
 president of the World Bank. 
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army 
 became effective. 
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he 
 and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language 
 for the Altair. 
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should 
 withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. At that time the CIA was
 training and arming the Taliban aganst the Russians and the Afghan
 government.
1986 Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people. 
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for
 more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal 
 defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to 
 preserve potentially vital evidence. 
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the 
 party's 40-year monopoly on power. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action 
 if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all 
 foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust 
 storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport 
 only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the 
 breakaway republic end its civil war. 
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen 
 Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 
 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes 
 sentence since World War II. 
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and 
 other narcotics. 
2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 
2015  smiled.


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