Sundays in an Excel spreadsheet graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award AND a Darwin Award goes to a Floriduh burglar, who fed himself to an alligator Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 10, in 1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. History ______________________________________________________ The Swedish Christmas Goat in Gaevle is up and the web cam is online live at http://m.visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken The webcam is at the top. ______________________________________________________ It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. --- Mark Twain "It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As usual, Hank was working a few hours extra after the rest of the staff had gone home. Just before he too left, his secretary called him and asked him to give her a lift home because she had a drink too many at the bar across the street from the office. He gladly did and congratulated her on having enough sense to not drive herself when impaired. Although nothing happened in the car, same as nothing happened between him and his secretary at the office, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who was more than jealous enough without any provocation or reason. Later that night Hank was drivng his wife to a baby shower party when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. When they arrived a short time later and she was about to get out of the car, she asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" ______________________________________________________ Overheard after church, one young teen girl to another: `I got tired of being fouled all the time and the official not calling on those cretins. Then this humongous girl elbowed me and knocked me down. Well, I was fed up. I got up and I decked her. Of course, I got sent out. So I'm sitting there and this girl on my team comes up to me and says, "I'm Baptist and I just wanted to let you know that God will forgive you for hitting that girl.". Then I said to her, "Well, I'm Presbyterian and `MY God' knows she deserved that!".' ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Gaevle Goat in Sweden, clip from the webcam ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Matthew Riggins, 22, Brevard County Floriduh
Floriduh burglar fed himself to an alligator A suspected burglar jumped into a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach. Brevard County Sheriff's Maj. Tod Goodyear says 22-year- old Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect. Authorities received calls Nov. 13 about two suspicious men in black walking behind homes and investigated. Riggins was reported missing the next day. Goodyear said sheriff's divers recovered Riggins' body 10 days later in a nearby lake, and that the injuries suggested the alligator had pulled him below the surface. "He hid in the wrong place," resident Laura Farris told Bay News 9. Authorities said Riggins drowned and the alligator, which behaved aggressively toward divers, was trapped and euthanized. Florida Today reports a second person was taken into custody.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: Spreadsheet Sunday Dear Webby, You know more about spreadsheets than my professor does, and you don't contradict yourself twice a minute. I followed your instructions for the lady who wanted a spreadsheet with graph for her weight without any problem, and even dressed it up nice and colorful. Now I wanted a bar to indicate Sundays. The professor got all flustered and told me it was a dumb idea to watch my weight differently on Sundays. I guess he didn't know. Can you please tell me? Thanks Eloise Dear Eloise At the top of the next free column, for example D, paste: =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=1,25,"") What that does is IF the date in A1 is a day 1 (Sunday) then put 25 into D1, otherwise put nothing in there. Copy that down colund D as far as you want. Weekday (A1,1) checks the date in A1, and uses schedule 1 which has Sunday as day 1. The IF wrapped around that checks if we get a 1 (Sunday), and if we do, it puts a 25 into that cell, IF not, then it puts nothing into that cell. "" is nothing. If you were checking for a Saturday, you would use 7 =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=7,25,"") In the graph, right-click, Source Data, add a series. Smear Column D as far down as the other columns, hit ENTEr, and all Sundays have a bar from 0 to 25. Right-click one of them and give it a nice Sunday color. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A hunter in Africa ran across a pigmy standing next to a huge dead elephant. The hunter then asked, "How does a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" Said the pigmy, "My club did it." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There are about 60 of us." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Peel Crisps My husband calls this the epitome of Thriftyfun recipes. When you peel your potatoes, don't throw out the skins. Instead, make this super easy, super yummy appetizer. It only takes a few ingredients. As a bonus, potato skins contain all the best health benefits, packed with B vitamins, vitamin C, potassium and calcium. Score! Approximate Time: 25 minutes Ingredients: leftover potato peels 1 tsp oil salt, pepper (any seasonings you like) 1 Tbsp Parmesan cheese chives (optional) Steps: Preheat oven to 400F. I use my toaster oven. Toss skins, oil and seasonings together and lay in a thin layer on a cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes. I like to broil them for a few minutes at the end to get the super crispy! Remove, sprinkle with Parmesan and optional chives. So good! By attosa [145] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it had been many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. Everything looked fine, until they read the last line on the invitation. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this 'RSVP' mean?" Selma was at a loss and simply could not remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!" ___________________________________________________
Walking on air One of my favorite Christmas videos
____________________________________________________ David told me he overheard a couple of guys talking about scary things. Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0 CD *backwards* you can hear all kinds of evil and Satanic messages!" Guy #2: "That's nothing. If you play it forwards, it installs AOL !" ____________________________________________________ >from dteeple A Hotel guest calls the Front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window." The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter." The man replies, "Listen, the window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter." ____________________________________________________
I never thought of carving bananas!

Today, December 10, in
1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy 
 demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused 
 and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 
1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first 
 pneumatic tires. 
1869 - Women were granted the right to vote in Wyoming. 
1898 - A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the 
 Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 
1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for helping 
 mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 
1941 - Japan invaded the Philippines. 
1941 - The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse 
 were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 
1948 - The United Nations General Assembly adopted its 
 Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 
1953 - Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine 
 with an investment of $7,600. 
1958 - The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in 
 the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami 
 on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 
1964 - In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received 
 the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1982 - The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries 
 in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 
1983 - Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first 
 civilian president after nearly eight years of military rule. 
1984 - South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the 
 Nobel Peace Prize. 
1990 - The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, 
 a long-acting contraceptive implant. 
1992 - Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he 
 called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. 
 However, he refused to resign. 
1993 - The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the 
 repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 
1994 - Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, 
 NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the 
 Unabomber. 
1995 - The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital 
 of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in 
 the former Yugoslavia. 
1996 - South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new 
 democratic constitution, completing the country's transition 
 from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 
1998 - Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international 
 space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 
1998 - The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional 
 clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 
1999 - After three years under suspicion of being a spy for 
 China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was 
 charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. 
 Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted 
 data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 
2003 - The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, 
 opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi 
 reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies 
 from winning subcontracts. 
2007 - Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first 
 elected female president. 
2015  smiled.


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