Book printing software 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh drunk hit-and-run driver, who was turned in by her On-Star calling the cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 11, in 1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took place in New England. History ______________________________________________________ Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC) Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ A couple came to the police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and explained that it contained two bullets an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the bullets in the locked drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the bullets safely. But when he took one out of the box, the top of the bullet popped off, revealing a strange blackish substance. His suspicions aroused, the officer removed the top of the other bullet and found a hard white substance. There was no doubt about it. The bullets were souvenir salt-and-pepper shakers. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" ______________________________________________________ "Say, Ralph, you want to hit the golf course this afternoon?" "Sorry, I can't." "Why not?" "The doctor told me I can't play." "Oh, he's seen your game?" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cathy Bernstein, PORT ST. LUCIE Floriduh
Floriduh drunk hit-and-run driver, who was turned in by her On-Star calling the cops Police responded to a hit-and-run in the 500 block of Northwest Prima Vista Boulevard on Monday afternoon. The victim, Anna Preston, said she was struck from behind by a black vehicle that took off. Preston was taken to the hospital with back injuries. Around the same time, police dispatch got an automated call from a vehicle emergency system stating the owner of a Ford vehicle was involved in a crash and to press zero to speak with the occupants of the vehicle. The person in the vehicle, Cathy Bernstein, told dispatch there had been no accident, that someone pulled out in front of her and that she was going home. She said she had not been drinking and didn't know why her vehicle had called for help. Police went to Bernsteins's home on Northwest Foxworth Avenue and saw that her vehicle had extensive front-end damage and silver paint from Preston's vehicle on it. Bernstein's airbag had also been deployed. Police said Bernstein again denied hitting another vehicle, saying she had struck a tree. After further discussions, police said Bernstein admitted to the hit-and-run. She also admitted that she had talked to someone at Ford and told them she had not been in an accident. It was later discovered that Bernstein had been involved in another accident prior to the one with Preston and was fleeing from that incident. Bernstein was arrested and taken to the St. Lucie County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Book printer Dear Webby, Once upon a time you mentioned a printer utility for printing big PDF files in paperback format for easier reading on airplanes and buses. Do you still have that link? Ron Dear Ron Yes, of course! ClickBook is a fantastic tool that is indispensable. With Clicklbook you can print in any format you can dream of. I use it to print in paperbook size (Half page) It shuffles things and tells you to hit GO, then it prints one side. Then it tells you to drop the output into the Input tray without turning anythging. Then it runs the back sides. After that, you drive some staples through the center, and fold it.All pages are in proper sequence, printed front and back. Book is ready. You just glue a cute cover around it, and it is done. It boggles the mind how it shuffles the pages so that they all are in proper sequence front ant back, when they are folded. Clickbook has over 170 different layouts to choose from. You can even do tri-fold brochures and CD case inserts. Have FUN! DearWebby A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the freezer, paused a moment, then took the same one out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Scrape Crumbs off Tabletop If your table is beautifully decorated and would be difficult to undo just to shake it out, use a credit card or business card to scrape those crumbs into a dust pan or some type of container. I also use the same method when removing pins after quilting, although I admit that the crumbs are much more cooperative! By Jean Geisel R. [1] A small, handheld, rechargeable car vacuum works even better. To pick up pins, use a magnet inside a pin cushion or in a ziplock baggie turned inside out. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone. "I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then." ___________________________________________________
Christmas Ad
____________________________________________________ An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a very old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue." ____________________________________________________ The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the kitchen to warm some milk. Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother, Mother" the nuns cried, "Give us some wisdom before you die!" She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face, and pointing out the window she said, "Don't EVER sell that cow!" ____________________________________________________
Interesting photos of this colorful earth from above.

Today, December 11, in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis 
 took place in New England. 
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January. 
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person in America 
 to have a tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic 
 for the dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, 
 was the anesthetic. 
1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was 
 the first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life 
 of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the 
 Duke of Windsor. 
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations. 
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 
 The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 
1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency 
 Fund (UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly.
1961 The first direct American military support for South 
 Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army 
 helicopters arrived in Saigon. 
1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first 
 time in Toulouse, France. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation 
 creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would 
 be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic 
 waste dumps. 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st 
 fight to Trevor Berbick. 
1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media 
 restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning 
 coverage  of a wide range of anti-apartheid protests. 
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were 
 sold at Christie's for 82,500. 
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace 
 when tons of illegal fireworks exploded. 
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 
 years of marriage. 
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for 
 blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 
 in New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary 
 of the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of 
 speech in the U.S.). 
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets 
 entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to 
 restore control over the breakaway republic. 
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when 
 leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a 
 free-trade declaration known as "The Miami Process." 
1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the 
 entire genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month 
 journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared 
 in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because 
 scientists had failed to convert English measures to 
 metric values. 
2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for 
 Bison ranches. 
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would 
 withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile 
 Treaty with Russia. 
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as 
 part of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain 
 evidence against an international software piracy ring. 
2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 
2015  smiled.

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