Did you win money from FaceBook? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 16

Have FUN!

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Paranoid Florida man was arrested after he called 911 on himself. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 16, in 1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation without representation and the monopoly the government granted to the East India Company. History ______________________________________________________ An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. --- Jef Mallett, Frazz, 04-04-07 "Vegetarians don't live longer, they just look older." --- Socratex A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. --- Westheimer's Discovery ______________________________________________________ While leading a party of girl guides through the woods in silent Cowboys and Indian fashion, our troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in some rather romantic activities. "Back ladies, back !" cried the leader, "There's a very dangerous beast out there!" But it was too late, several of the kids had more-or-less seen all. They asked their leader what was happening. "Well, if you... er... must know, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration." "WOW !" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I sure know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As the Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along towards the north, they spotted a war party of about 50 Apaches coming at them. They turned south, but another war party appeared. They turned east and met another party of 100. They turned west as their last remaining hope and saw a party of 500. The Lone Ranger turned to his friend and said, "Well, Tonto, this is the end, there's not much we can do." Tonto looked back at the Lone Ranger. "What you mean WE, white man?" ______________________________________________________ Once upon a time,.... Margaret Thatcher and her Cabinet were meeting over lunch to discuss an important bit of impending legislation. "And what will you have, Madam?" asked the waiter, coming over with his notepad. "I'll have the Beef Wellington," replied the Prime Minister promptly, eager to get on with the business at hand. "And, for the vegetables?" continued the waiter politely. Thatcher replied briskly, "They'll have the same." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These bloomed today, like every December. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jasper Harrison, 47, Edgewater, Florida
Paranoid Florida man was arrested after he called 911 on himself. A Florida man, accused of growing marijuana in a storage unit was arrested after he called 911 on himself. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Jasper Harrison was in the storage unit when he heard a helicopter hovering over the area in Edgewater, Florida. Worried that he’d soon be arrested, he called 911. “I’m the guy they’re looking for,” he told the dispatcher. As it turned out, police weren’t in the area looking for Harrison. Instead, they were there investigating the suspicious but unrelated death of a man on the same street. The helicopter Harrison heard while in the storage unit was that of a television station reporting on the suspicious death, police say. When they responded to the storage unit, police found marijuana growing inside it. He now faces charges of cultivating cannabis within 1,000 feet of a school, and possession with intent to sell. He was released from jail on bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Peter Re: Did I win money from FaceBook Dear Webby, Some too cute looking lady friended me on FaceBook, and told me I had won $5000 on some kind of FaceBook draw. Since I had never heard of any money give-away at FaceBook, I did not respond yet. What should I do? Peter Dear Peter Just tell her to deposit it into your PayPal account. Don't give out any bank information or street address or phone number or email address, just your PayPal address. Since it is just a cheap crook, feel free to get as ornery and obnoxious as you want. Tell her that if she is not a lying crook in Nigeria or Ghana or Russia, to stop her BS and deposit YOUR money into your PayPal account. She will go away. Have FUN! DearWebby A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said, "Zoo or no zoo, both on top, THAT I gotta see!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick and Easy Poached Eggs Fill a pot half way with water and bring to a boil. Spray the inside of a baggie with cooking spray and break one or more eggs into the baggie. Squeeze out most of the air while zipping the baggie closed. Drop the baggie into the pot of water reducing heat to medium/low and cover. I cooked two eggs for 5 minutes but increase/decrease time according to number of eggs being poached. The baggie allows for a good visual check during cooking. When the eggs are done, remove the baggie from the water using tongs. Open baggie carefully - contents will be hot - and simply pour the eggs out. No more stringy whites clinging to the inside of the pot! By oSandi [17] If you don't have a microwave, this method might work OK for you. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Talk about your fruits and nuts! Radical vegans - who avoid any product that comes from animals - are now buzzing about the evils of honey. They claim its production uses the labor of oppressed non-union worker bees, according to a Time magazine report on the growing numbers of American nuts, ahem vegetarians. ___________________________________________________
Why, yes it IS my twisted sense of humor. Why do you ask?
____________________________________________________ This moose be Alaska! ____________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar with a duck and a big bisquit tin. He sets the duck on top of the biscuit box on the bar and the duck begins dancing. The barman finds this rather interesting, as do the rest of the patrons in the bar. They all gather around the duck and watch it for a long time. While everyone is watching the duck dance, they buy more drinks from the bar. By the end of the night, the bar is full of people watching this amazing duck, still dancing and letting out an odd quack now and again. The barman realizes that he hasn't had business this good in a long time. Business is so good, in fact, that he offers to buy the duck from the man. The man tells the bartender that he can have the duck for 500 pounds. The barman thinks it is a bit expensive, but agrees to buy the duck anyway. After selling the duck, the man goes home, leaving a crowded pub watching his dancing duck. Later that night, the man gets a telephone call from the barman, who exclaims that the duck is a great success and that he has earned his money back in the amount of drinks he has sold. Then the barman says, "There is one thing, though. How do you get the duck to stop dancing?" And the man says, "Oh, it's simple. Just take the lid of the biscuit box and blow out the candle." ____________________________________________________
A wood Christmas tree that is truly a work of art.

Today, December 16, in
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland. 
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor 
 off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots were 
 disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation without 
 representation and the monopoly the government granted to the 
 East India Company. 
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress Josephine 
 by an act of the French Senate. 
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire. 
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force 
 of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as 
 'Dingaan's Day'. 
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand. 
1901 "The Tale of Peter Rabbit," by Beatrix Potter, was 
 printed for the first time. 
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after learning 
 of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up a new government 
 with German support. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began in 
 Belgium. It was the final major German counteroffensive. 
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of 
 emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism." 
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation 
 collided over New York City, killing 134 people. 
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected 
 president in Haiti's first democratic elections. 
1991 The U.N. General Assembly rescinded its 1975 resolution 
 equating Zionism with racism by a vote of 111-25. 
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter of 
 an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of 
 contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift its 
 ban on Britain. 
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles on Iraq 
 in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply with U.N. 
 weapons inspectors. 
1998 Eric Michelman filed the earliest patent for a scroll wheel 
 for a computer mouse. 
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left thousands 
 of people dead and forced at least 120,000 to leave their homes. 
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's Galileo 
 spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to have a liquid 
 saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid ice. Ganymede, a 
 moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's largest moon. The 
 discovery is considered important since water is a key 
 ingredient for life. 
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin Powell 
 to be the first African-American secretary of state.
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced that 
 they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More than 200 
 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also announced that 
 they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden. 
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from the 
 United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent to help 
 Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on November 4, 2001. 
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known 
 exoplanet on which water could exist.
2015  smiled.

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