PRE style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif; color:navy;">
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


-20 C (0 degrees F) Refreshing! 
That was during my walk. It's going to cool off some 
more tonight.
Absolutely no danger of Gullible Warming.
Please resume farting around.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Vero Beach man arrested after he attempted jail break-in, 
becam entangled in razor wire
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, December 17, in
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the 
 U.S. for an annual rent.
History
______________________________________________________
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
--- Ray Bradbury (1920 - )

"The income tax has made more liars out of the
American people than golf has.  Even when you make
a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's
through if you are a crook or a martyr."
---- Will Rogers

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit
the national debt."
--- Herbert Hoover
______________________________________________________

Overheard in the bank today:
A few ladies were discussing the newsreport about the hormone
pills for women in or after menopause claiming that the
hormones could lead to 8 more heart attacks in 10 000 people.
Most figured that 8 in 10 000 was so small a number that it
was probably due to some fluke ot error, and only one of them
seemed inclined to consider giving up the estrogen pills.

Then the old country doctor, who had just come in, interrupted in
her usual gruff and surly manner. She said:
"8 in 10 000 is silly! If 10 000 stop using the hormone pills, you'll
see 8000 divorces and 800 murders! 8 Heart attacks. Those I can deal
with nowadays, but not 10 000 grouchy dingbats!"

Everybody cracked up laughing, especially because she has a
reputation for being quite a grouch.

______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The judge read the charges, then asked,
"Are you the defendant in this case?"

"No sir, your honor, sir," replied Arthur,
"I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'.
I'm the person who done it."

______________________________________________________

One day, a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and
beeped his car horn by mistake.  She turned and looked at him
for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."

She said, "I know that, daddy."

He said, "How did you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't yell, 'JERK,' after you
honked."

______________________________________________________

Heirloom Big Book Of Classic 
Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more
stories and pictures


$10 instant download


______________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD  
has been earned by


Patrick Rempe, 
24, 
Vero Beach,
Florida



Vero Beach man arrested after he attempted jail break-in, 
becam entangled in razor wire

A man high on Flakka rammed the fence at the Indian River 
County Jail and attempted to scale the fence, but became 
stuck at the top, authorities said.

A man high on a synthetic stimulant rammed the fence at the 
Indian River County Jail and became entangled in razor wire 
when he attempted to scale the fence early Tuesday, the 
Indian River County Sheriff's Office said.

Patrick Rempe, 24, of the 2200 block of 53rd Avenue, Vero 
Beach, had to be assisted out of the wire by deputies and 
paramedics before he was charged with battery on a law 
enforcement officer and several other charges. Rempe had 
been using the drug Flakka, Flowers said.

"The people who are on this drug lose control of themselves," 
Flowers said.

Flakka is a synthetic drug that has also been compared to 
cocaine and methamphetamine, law enforcement officials said. 
It causes hallucinations and euphoria for its users, but can 
also cause paranoia, confusion and psychosis.

The Sheriff's Office estimates the jail sustained at least 
$5,000 worth damage to the doors and the fence.

"The good thing is, we were never compromised," Flowers said.

Even if Rempe had not been entangled in the wire, he would have 
had to scale a second fence, also topped with razor wire, before 
reaching the jail building, which would have been locked, 
Flowers said.

About 4:15 a.m. Tuesday, Rempe rammed his 2002 Toyota into the 
front doors of Building C, barely missing a deputy who was 
outside the jail. The glass on the doors shattered, but the 
doors held up, Flowers said.

Rempe then drove at a high rate of speed and rammed into the 
fence outside of building E, Flowers said. With the fence 
tipping slightly toward the building, Rempe tried to scale it 
and became stuck. Rempe spit on one of the deputies after 
being removed, Flowers said.

Rempe was treated at Indian River Medical Center before he 
was booked into the jail. He told deputies he just wanted 
to visit friends who were in the jail.

Rempe was charged with aggravated assault on a law 
enforcement officer, battery on a law enforcement officer, 
three counts of felony criminal mischief, leaving the scene 
of a crash with property damage and driving under the 
influence.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Mary M
Re: Go back to W7
Dear Webby,
My granddaughter was on my desk top and the window's 10 
came up. I had been ignoring it. I like my 7 just fine and 
she downloaded W10 plus the 10 Norton.

HELP !! I need to get rid of this and go back to 7.

I know you had told how to do this a while back but I wasn't 
planning on getting 10.

Thank you & Merry Christmas !!
Mary

Dear Mary
Yes, I agree it is time to get rid of that granddaughter.
She is evil!

First UNistall Norton.

Then, if it has been less than a month since she downgraded to Windows 10, you can go back to your previous version of Windows by going to  Settings > Update & security > Recovery  and selecting Go back to Windows 7. 

That should do it.
You may have to re-Install Mcafee and MalwareBytes afterwards.
With that link you can currently get the 2016 McAfee at 50% off.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had
an office adjacent to where security temporarily holds suspects.

One day security officers were questioning a man when they were
suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my
sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked
room. After a few minutes, the door opened, and he began to
walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked,
"Get back in there, and don't come out until you're told!"

The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the
security people returned, the woman reported what had happened.

Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one
very frightened telephone repairman.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mushroom and Cheese Orzo Risotto

People tend to get intimidated by the thought of making 
risotto. I can assure you, this version is a super easy 
method that results in a very elegant, delicious dish.
Approximate Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:
2 tsp oil
3/4 cup sliced or chopped mushrooms
1/4 cup chopped onions
2 cloves minced garlic
2 cups dried orzo pasta
3 cups chicken broth
1/3 cup any type of cheese (I used aged cheddar here)
salt and pepper to taste
1 Tbsp butter

Steps:
Add oil to frying pan over high heat. Cook mushrooms, 
onions and garlic until browned, about 5 minutes.

Reduce heat to medium and add dried orzo. Stir often 
until pasta is light golden brown, a few minutes.

Add chicken broth and bring to a boil over high heat, 
then reduce heat and simmer. Stirring often. It will 
take about 8 minutes or so until orzo is tender and 
most of the liquid is absorbed. If its too thick or 
dry, add a bit of water at a time until you reach 
desired consistency. If too wet, cook a bit longer.

Turn off heat then drop in cheese, butter, and salt 
and pepper to taste. Stir until cheese melts. 
I'm getting hungry just writing this! Enjoy!

By attosa [147]


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution. "You need to be careful about trying these
techniques at home."


"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.


"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,"
the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the
refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a
single item at a time. One day I told her,
'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20
minutes to make breakfast.
........
Now I do it in seven."

___________________________________________________

 Santa’s shop
____________________________________________________

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and
the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said
"My husband just won't go to church with me, I think he's
going to go to Hell."
This led to talk around the table and it was generally
agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands
were going to end up in Hell. So, then the housewives
started speculating about themselves.

One woman said
"I try to be good - I'm sure I'll make it to Heaven."
One after the other, and all at the sime time, as is common
in these gatherings,  they enumerated their good deeds and
their sufferings and reasons why they would surely go to
heaven.

Then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn't saying
anything. They looked at her and said
"You're always soo a kind and good, surely you're going to
Heaven?"

"Not me," she says, "Tonight I am going to go burn down 
a church or two. Maybe a rectory too."

They were shocked and asked "Why??"
"Well, none of the men I like are going to go to heaven. I
am just going to make sure I won't either".

____________________________________________________

A lady from Chicago was visiting New York City. Her hostess
was determined to make the Midwesterner feel cheap and
unimportant. "My dear," said the New York matron snobbishly,
"here in the East we think breeding is everything."

The lady from the Midwest replied. "Out where I come
from we think it's fun, too, but we try to have a few other
interests as well."

____________________________________________________




 Pretty colorful igloo!  




Today, December 17, in
1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New 
 York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled. 
1865 U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement 
 verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. 
 Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the 
 declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except 
 as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been 
 duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any 
 place subject to their jurisdiction." 
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph). 
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the 
 U.S. for an annual rent. 
1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was 
 announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953. 
1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the French 
 finally won a battle at Verdun. 
1936 Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from China, 
 arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the 
 Brookfield Zoo for $8,750. 
1940 Adolf Hitler signed a secret directive ordering preparations 
 for a Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. Operation "Barbarossa" 
 was launched in June 1941. 
1944 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of 
 Japanese-Americans.
1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western Europe, 
 including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary. 
1953 WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial, it was 
 the first color telecast seen on a local station. 
1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations. 
1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went 
 online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity 
 in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982. 
1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates. 
1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder. 
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy. 
1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of North Vietnam 
 during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later. 
1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London. 
1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by 
 Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 
1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in 
 the 34th game of the season. 
1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S. 
 attacks on Iraq. 
1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution 
 since capital punishment was restored. 
1999 After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County, CA, 
for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly" Hill came 
 down, ending her anti-logging protest. 
2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The 
 cathedral is the largest in the United States. 
2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its 
 Saab brand. 
2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law 
 with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company 
 $14,300-a-day until it rids its search engine of the 
 literary extracts. 
2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United 
 States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing 
 film worldwide. 
2010 In Nanjing, China, the Zifeng Tower opened. 
2015  smiled.