FedEx emails 

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Today is Moday, December 28

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor. (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a colony in Newfoundland, Canada) History ______________________________________________________ It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult. --- Seneca In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves. --- R. A. Butler (1902 - 1982) ----------- The same applies if you pull ahead of the pack. ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I'll dance on your grave ... I'll dance on your grave!” Sure enough, the man died first. His last request? … To be buried at sea. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Last summer, John took Jill camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. John tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (There was no moss.), direction of the sun (It was an overcast day). Just as he was beginning to panic, John spotted a small cabin off in the distance. John pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned, and led them right back to the campsite. "That was terrific," Jill said. "How did you do it?" "Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all satellite dishes point south." ______________________________________________________ There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "I'm a former window washer." I asked, "When did you give it up?" He said, "Oh, about halfway down." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Pettibone, 28, Auburn, California
Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Police in California are trying to determine why a man was naked in frigid temperatures when he entered a home and stole a purse. Auburn police say the homeowner's boyfriend then chased 28-year-old Adam Pettibone on Friday night before Pettibone got into an SUV and drove off. Sgt. Tucker Huey says Pettibone struck the boyfriend with the SUV. The boyfriend declined medical treatment. Auburn is about 30 miles northeast of Sacramento. The temperature dipped into the 30s Friday. Police say they found the SUV a short distance away in front of a home where Pettibone was. They booked him at Placer County Jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and burglary. He is being held on $250,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Estelle Re: FedEx Dear Webby, I got this email from FedEx Express, with an attachment. I am forwarding it to you. Is it safe to open? At the bottom it has: This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. FedEx Express®.docx FedEx Express®.docx Estelle Dear Estelle MailWasher dumped your email. Apparently it objected to the crap in the phony doc, and possibly also to the fact, that the email came from Nigeria. I had a good laugh about it: Dispatched Officer: Mr. Bob Morris E-mail: Contact Phone number: (+234 8022378598) The real fedEx does not use a +234 phone number. They use a 1- 800 number. And they most defiitely don't use a ho'mail address. The FROM address claims to be From: "FedEx Express®" Hilarious! And they want you to send them $180 ! And they don't even use your name, just "Customer" ! The line about Avast is totally phony too. Anybody can add that to an email. Carefully delete the attached docx file, and dump that email. If you click on that docx file, it will most likely unleash a virus hidden in macros. Just delete it, and then delete it out of the Recycle bin, so that it can never be restored. In the future, if you see an email from Nigeria or thereabouts, promising ridiculous amounts of money and requesting money from you, dump it. The same goes for doc and docx attachments. Dump them. If a friend sends an email with a doc or docx attachment, question them why, and tell them, if the content is clean and does not require a virus carrier, to just paste it into email, just like the grown-ups do. Eventually they will get the hint. If they want to create a special song and dance with their info, tell them to lock it in a PDF file. PDF is fairly safe, and hopefully, they will get the hint, that anything other than regular email is not appreciated. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down here at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything?" his friends asked. "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. Susan thought it was me coming home drunk." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Key Wind Chime Take some old keys from long forgotten or lost padlocks, wrecked and binned suitcases, your granny's replaced wooden front door, and the key to untold riches which never quite fitted the lock and make them bright and colorful. Tie them and hang them to make beautiful music when the cold windy weather would otherwise make you miserable. Supplies: an old stick, twig of a tree, a pencil, or a chopstick gorgeous ribbons and braids acrylic paint and a brush or nail varnish/polish Steps: Paint your keys. Nail varnish will work better than acrylic paint. You will need much patience waiting for several coats to dry. See how I have recycled breakfast cereal packaging to protect my work surface. This has a feel good effect even if it doesn't do much to save the planet. Tie ribbons and braids to the keys Tie the other ends to your stick I used a spent raspberry cane which worked nicely. Tie a final cord for hanging Dangle and enjoy. By ShirleyE [47] If you want a louder and deeper sound, use the empty cores of Christmas wrapping. Make a trough by draping clear plastic between two 2x4's or any boards or books, so that a core can be partially immersed in the trough, after you dump some flour and water glue, or varnish or paint into the trough. You don't have to immerse the whole roll, a quarter of it is enough. Just roll it to wet all of it, then hang it up to dry overnight. After weatherproofing it like that, you can paint it white or chrome and then fake a candy-apple coat by mixing a bit of color with varnish. Hang your tubes with dental-floss and enjoy a deep, relaxing bass wind chime. You can, of course, tune the tubes by shortening some of them. Don't bother using a tuning fork. Just a small difference will make a pleasant melody. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob and Nancy had a huge argument. They ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, Bob asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," she said, "now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" she challenged. "No," he said, "I just, thought you were finished with arguing and we were getting along again." ___________________________________________________
peacock spider
____________________________________________________ A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." ____________________________________________________ A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. "So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father. "Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son. "With what?" asked father. "We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my favorite was the grenade," said the son. "What's a grenade?" asked the father. "Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws the grenade on top of the outhouse. KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, 'Whew, glad I didn't let THAT one loose in the house!"' ____________________________________________________
Fascinating light painting photography.

Today, December 28, in
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor.
 (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a 
 colony in Newfoundland, Canada)
1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule 
 with her husband, King William III. 
1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, ran 
 an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard’s Almanack." 
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an acceptable 
 chewing gum. 
1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling mill, 
 which boosted production by 70%. 
1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge 
 collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 
1895 In Paris, the first commercial public screening of 
 cinematographic films took place. 
1897 "Cyrano de Bergerac," the play by Edmond Rostand, premiered 
 in Paris, France. 
1902 The first professional indoor football game was played at 
 Madison Square Garden in New York City. Syracuse defeated the 
 Philadelphia Nationals 6-0. 
1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 
1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the 
 streets of San Francisco, CA. 
1917 The New York Evening Mail published a facetious essay by 
 H.L. Mencken on the history of bathtubs in America. 
1926 The highest recorded cricket innings score of 1,107 runs 
 was hit by Victoria, against New South Wales, in Melbourne. 
1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when 
 a new constitution established the country as a sovereign 
 state under the name of Eire. 
1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the 
 "Pledge of Allegiance." 
1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on 
 location near Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time 
 is 197 minutes. 
1973 The Chamber of Commerce of Akron, OH, terminated its 
 association with the All-American Soap Box Derby. It was 
 stated that the race had become "a victim of cheating and fraud." 
1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," 
 an expose of the Soviet prison system. 
1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby, 
 was born in Norfolk, VA. 
1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer in 
 a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race related 
 disturbances that left another man dead. 
1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist 
 Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 
1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game at 
 City College in New York. 
1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography 
 forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-
 oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 
2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure 
 that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood 
 that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted 
 an execution date set, but wanted to reserve the right to seek 
 presidential clemency. 
2015  smiled.

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