How do I set up a screen saver? 

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Today is Thursday, December 31

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 31, in 1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. History ______________________________________________________ I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were playing golf together for the very first time. The first player teed off and hit the ball into a clump of trees. He finally got onto the fairway, only to hit the ball into a water hazard. The next shot resulted in a new ball flying over a fence onto a busy street. The second player said, "Maybe you should use an old ball for this shot." The first player replied, "I don't have any old balls." ______________________________________________________ An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed for the third time by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" he asked. "Yes, he seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Svend for this picture: ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Goldrick, 68, Nutley, New Jersey
NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. A Nutley man, posing as a cop, was arrested by state authorities after he allegedly attempted to stop an off-duty Woodbridge Police Department sergeant. Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. PHOTO COURTESY OF NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. Richard Goldrick, 68, was charged with impersonating a police officer, possession of a weapon, and possession of false government documents, according to a press release. According to state police, on Monday, Dec. 21, at 7:15 p.m., Woodbridge police Sgt. Charles Stab was driving in his personal vehicle northbound on the Garden State Parkway at milepost 116 when Goldrick, driving a 2013 black Chevrolet Suburban, pulled behind him, and activated emergency lights. Stab then pulled over, believing the vehicle stopping him was an undercover one. However, once both vehicles were stopped, Goldrick shut off his emergency lights and quickly drove away, police said. Stab noticed that the incident was suspicious and was able obtain a description of the suspect and a license plate number, which he later provided to State Police detectives. As a result, Goldrick was arrested by Troop "D" Criminal Investigation Office detectives. During an interview with Goldrick Tuesday, Dec. 22, at Holmdel Station, police seized a .22 caliber handgun, hollow point ammunition, and fraudulent documents from inside his car. He was arrested, charged and then lodged at Monmouth County Jail in lieu of $52,000 full cash bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marla Re: How do I install a screensaver Dear Webby, I have read plenty about downloaded screensavers having a hidden "payload" of adware, spyware and malware. I don't want those. How do I install or set up the built in screen savers, that you hinted at? Marla Dear Marla First set up a folder for the pictures, that you want featured in your screen saver, and move or copy those pictures to there. Next carefully double-check those pictures by browsing them with a graphics program to make 100% sure that folder does not contain any pictures, that you don't want shown while your daughter or the minister are visiting. Once you are sure the collection is safe, Open Screen Saver Settings by clicking the Start button clicking Control Panel, clicking Appearance and Personalization, clicking Personalization, and then clicking Screen Saver. Under Screen saver, in the drop-down list, click Photos. (In some versions that is listed as Slide Show) Click Settings to choose the folder you want used by your slide show and select other options. After you make your changes, for example how long a period of inactivity will turn it on, whether you demand a password when coming back, how long each picture is supposed to stay on, etc. click Save. Click OK. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" "Just an educated guess." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Soothing a Sore Throat This remedy was given to me by an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. To get immediate relief of a sore throat, eat Fritos Corn chips and eat popsicles. You cannot gargle enough to reach all the way down the throat that is sore. I get a bag of Fritos and some popsicles and keep them in the freezer until needed. It is not scratchy like you think they would be. Also you can dissolve a chicken bullion cube in cup of water in the microwave and drink when it cools. By patricia laubscher [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Pat in Oz The weather was very hot and pastor Fred wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. Having forgotten to pack a swimming suit, he chose to skinny dip. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of middle-aged ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He strategically positioned the bucket and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed pastor. "You can't really know what I think!" She said: "Yes, I do know. Right now I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom." ___________________________________________________
Instagram husband (for the record, this was shot in Springfield, Missouri, and David was in Skinny Improv with this guy - 4,000,000+ views in one day!)
____________________________________________________ A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my position, and I will not compromise!" ____________________________________________________ "I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!" ____________________________________________________
Annual compilation of the Best of People Are Awesome for 2015.

Today, December 31, in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of 
 Good Hope, where they would later create the South African 
 wine industry with the vines they took with them on the 
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted 
 in many windows being bricked up. 
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals 
 Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was 
 killed in the battle. 
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital 
 of Canada. 
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers 
 of arrivals. 
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" 
 as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II. 
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn 
 more than one billion dollars in a single year. 
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great Britain 
 since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender. 
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years. 
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start 
 of 1979. 
1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, 
 killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later 
 pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 
1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding 
 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two 
 Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian 
 prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from Katmandu, 
 Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the world's 
 oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 
2004 In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.

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