How to stop Skype updater attacks 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 1, in 0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. History ______________________________________________________ Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her new husband running water in the bathroom, she said, "Did you just brush your teeth?" The husband answered, "Yes, dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too." ______________________________________________________ Angus McGillicuddy was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, the tightwad received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carneeka Sanders, 20, St. Petersburg, Florida
Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Sanders was arrested last night on an outstanding warrant after a car she was traveling in was stopped by St. Petersburg police. After being patted down by a cop, Sanders "stated she had marijuana and a cigar in her vagina," according to a criminal complaint. Sanders then “provided the marijuana and cigar” to an officer. Seen above, Sanders was arrested for pot possession and the outstanding warrant (which was related to her alleged failure to return a rental car). Sanders, who was arrested twice last year for pot possession, was released from custody early this morning after posting $5000 bond. Police records list Sanders’s employer as the Steak 'n Shake restaurant chain. The complaint does not detail the weight of the marijuana seized, the size of the stashed cigar, or whether the stogie was stuffed with pot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Attack by Skype 7 Dear Webby, I don't like Skype 7. Period. It is a piece of crap, and the way it wastes screen space is ridiculous. Yes, I know, I can UNinstall the bloody nuisance and then install 6.20 again, but I hate the way it assumes I want 7.something every time Windows bungs up and I am frantically trying to save and close programs. Just then, when I really don't want anything else starting up, it does an unauthorized "update". Is there a way to stop those sneaky update attacks? Thanks Karen Dear Karen That is a very common problem, since Skype 7 is about as popular as Windows 8. Click on START, then type services.msc when it finds it, click on it. Eventually Services will start, just be patient. After it shows a list of services, look for Skype Updater. Click on it, and select Properties in there change Automatic to Disabled. That will stop the nuisance attacks. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. Until snow plowing season starts and more money comes in, I can't afford a divorce!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Cheese Tart Recipe Ingredients 1 package cream cheese, softened 1 can sweetened condensed milk 1/3 cup lemon juice from concentrate 1 tsp. vanilla 2 packages. graham cracker crusts Assorted fruit (such as strawberries, blueberries, bananas, raspberries, orange segments, cherries, kiwi fruit, grapes, pineapple, etc.) 1/4 cup apple jelly, melted (opt.) Directions With mixer, beat cheese until fluffy. gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Stir in lemon juice and vanilla. Spoon into crusts. Chill 2 hours or until set. Just before serving, top with fruit; brush with jelly, if desired. Refrigerate leftovers. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ___________________________________________________
cool guitar invention
____________________________________________________ GRANDMA SHOES When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat. ____________________________________________________ Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, but now I have to run. Got some urgent phone calls to make!" ____________________________________________________
Some funny 2015 photobombs.

Today, January 1, in
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning 
 of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 
1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 
1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing 
 New York City. 
1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 
1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person 
 to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 
1804 Haiti gained its independence. 
1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, 
 which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 
1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 
1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. 
1892 Brooklyn and New York merged to form the single city of New York. 
1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 
1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable batch 
 of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal-based substitute 
 for caffeinated drinks. 
1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were 
 consolidated into New York City. 
1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national convention. 
1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard 
 as the high commissioner. 
1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun 
 officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 
1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl) collegiate 
 football game was played in Pasadena, CA. 
1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. 
 People over 70 received five shillings a week. 
1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 
1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 
1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network radio for 
 the first time. 
1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 
1937 The First Cotton Bowl football game was played in Dallas, 
1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill 
 Hewlett and Dave Packard. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and British Prime 
 Minister Winston Churchill issued a declaration called the 
 "United Nations." It was signed by 26 countries that vowed 
 to create an international postwar World War II peacekeeping 
1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 
1956 Sudan gained its independence. 
1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 
1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, 
 and seized power in Cuba. 
1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control 
 of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over 
 the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar’s Palace in 
 Las Vegas. 
1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising 
 were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 
1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 
1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention 
 of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel 
 microprocessor, developed the computer. 
1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington, 
 DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic 
 relations between the two countries. 
1981 Greece joined the European Community. 
1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under 
 terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 
1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen 
 Square (China). 
1992 In Kuala, Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the 
 Petronas Towers took place. 
1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech 
 Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered 
 in 1992. 
1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda 
 French were married. 
1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 
1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group of 
 125 nations monitors global trade. 
1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The law 
 prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 
1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the European 
 Union. Coins and notes were not available until January 1, 2002. 
1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion 
 of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video 
 images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal or 
 family activity." 
2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO. 
2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its parent 
 company Hallmark. 
2015  smiled.

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