Can you trust investment advice that comes in as spam? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 12

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri Sheriffs Deputy arrested for child porn Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 12 49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling the start of war between Rome and Gaul. History ______________________________________________________ A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. --- G. C. Lichtenberg ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., a squad was on a night patrol through some thick brush. Halfway through, they realized they had lost their map. The patrol navigator informed them, "Our odds are 1 in 360 that we'll get out of here." "How did you come up with that?" someone asked. "Well," he replied, "it's unfortunate that the compass broke when Bob stepped on it, because quite often one of the degrees on the compass is right." ----------- Just remember, moss grows on the north side of lost compasses. ______________________________________________________ Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan T. Jones, 27, Springfield, Missouri
Missouri Sheriffs Deputy arrested for child porn A Greene County sheriff's deputy at the center of a federal child porn investigation was fired and arrested Wednesday by Sheriff Jim Arnott. Juan T. Jones, 27, a patrol deputy employed by the sheriff's office since September 2013, was charged in a federal complaint Wednesday with possession of child pornography. Arnott said at a press conference Wednesday afternoon that he was "disappointed" with and "ashamed" of Jones' conduct. The case was investigated by the Southwest Missouri Cyber Crimes Task Force, and Arnott said it was brought to his attention on Tuesday. The sheriff's office is conducting an internal investigation of Jones in addition to the criminal investigation being carried out by the task force, according to Arnott. A criminal complaint filed Wednesday afternoon says authorities started investigating Jones in September when a tip came in from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children that someone was storing child porn on a Dropbox account. Authorities tracked the account to Jones, according to the complaint. In October, authorities received a warrant to search Jones' Dropbox account. The search turned up 168 videos and about 1,500 images of child porn, according to the complaint. The images depicted children as young as infants engaged in sexual acts, the complaint says. Jones allegedly told investigators during an interview Wednesday that he has looked at child porn for about 10 years. He allegedly told investigators he had stored child porn on his Dropbox and Tumblr accounts. He told investigators he exchanged child porn with other people over the Internet, the complaint says. The complaint says Jones lives in the 2600 block of East Atlantic Street, and investigators served a federal search warrant Wednesday at Jones' residence. Sheriff Arnott said Jones is in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service. The complaint also says Jones was an employee of the Springfield Cardinals. Jones was the subject of a December 2014 feature story in the News-Leader saying he was the county's only black patrol deputy. In the story, Jones said he grew up poor in St. Louis in and out of 21 foster homes. He said he was homeless in Springfield as recently as 2007. "I grew up around drugs and alcohol and domestic abuse," he said. "Crack was the main choice of drug. I didn't meet my dad until 2013." The story said Jones was married and has two young daughters. Arnott said at the press conference Wednesday his main concern now is getting justice for the victims in this case. He said he was not aware of any local victims, but he asks anyone with information on this case to contact the sheriff's office at 868-4040. "I’m so disappointed, but at the same time proud of the job well done seeking justice for child victims who are exploited on the Internet," Arnott said. Arnott said he hadn't noticed any questionable behavior on Jones' part in his time with the sheriff's office.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maryann Re: Investment advice via email Dear Webby, I got an email today that recommended that I buy a certain stock because it was bound to go up. Is it safe to trust that? Maryann Dear Maryann Always remember that spammers lie. If you have stock of that company, dump it, fast! Obviously it is going to drop soon and they are trying to con those people, who are dumb enough to believe spam, into taking it off their hands. If you want a good investment tip, try this: Spend a Saturday afternoon at the biggest computer store in your area, and try EVERY keyboard they have, until you find one that feels perfect for your hands and your posture. Then buy twenty or more of those at wholesale. Not only will keyboard prices go up steadily with normal inflation, but this way you will always have a perfect keyboard and increase your own productivity. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig too. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber network. Scottish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. So they concluded that the ancient Scotts 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones under their kilts. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Recycled Plastic Bottle Herb Planters This is a simple recycled plastic bottle project that will allow you to grow your herbs year round. Furthermore, the herb planters are easy to care for and don't need to be watered daily. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 1 recycled planterplanter before adding soil Supplies: recycled plastic drink bottles (depends on the number of planters you want to make) pair of scissors pocket knife roll of jute or macrame twine 8 to 15 small pebbles plant soil to fill the top of the bottles, amount will depend on how many planters you make) 3 herb seeds or herb plants Steps: Remove the bottle cap and clean the bottle with water. Use the blade of your pocket knife and insert it in the bottle just under the label. Cut a small slit in the bottle so you can insert your scissors. Cut around the label of the bottle. You now have two pieces of the bottle. Take the neck of your bottle piece and turn it upside down. Insert the small blade of your pocket knife into the bottle just below the label. You want to make a small round cut in the bottle neck. Repeat step 6 making a second round cut in the bottle neck. The second cut is approximately 1 inch apart. Cut your piece of jute or macramé cord. Youll need to double your cord. It is easy to use the bottom of the bottle to determine the length of cord you'll need. I normally cut my cord 1 inch above the bottom of the bottle. When I cut the cord I made sure it is doubled. Insert both ends of the cord into the two holes on the neck of the bottle. Pull both ends of cord through the neck of the bottle. They should exit out the opening of the bottle. Use small rocks or pebbles to fill the neck of the bottle. The rocks hold the dirt in place. Place dirt in the bottle. Fill the reservoir of the bottle with water. Place the neck of the bottle in the reservoir. Make sure the two ends of the cord are in the water. Now you're ready to plant seeds or small herb plants in the recycled bottle planters. The cords in the water will keep your soil nice and moist. When the reservoir starts to be low on water it's time to fill the reservoir. After I plant my seeds or starter plants I will wet my soil for the first time. After this there is no need to water the plants. You'll only have to refill the planters when they run low on water. By poehere [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two Rednecks rob an armored truck and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?" "Half a million" "Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with all that cash?" "I bought a house and a boat. How about your sack?" "Bah... mine was full o' bills" "And what did you do with them?" "Er, well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off." ___________________________________________________
from beverage to bench
____________________________________________________ Sally had three very active boys. One evening she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, she opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day". ____________________________________________________ There are only two kinds of drivers: Idiots and Maniacs. Idiots include anyone that drives slower than you, and the Maniacs are everyone that drives faster than you. ____________________________________________________
There once was a man who lived in a cave...

Today, January 12, in
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling the 
start of war between Rome and Gaul. 
1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. 
1773 The first public museum in America was established 
 in Charleston, SC. 
1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 
1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British 
 invaded Zululand. 
1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct 
 in London began operation. 
1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray 
 photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs 
 to be made in America. 
1904 Henry Ford set a new land speed record when he reached 
 91.37 miles per hour. 
1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first 
 time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 
1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal to 
 give women the right to vote. 
1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 
1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. 
1942 U.S. President Roosevelt created the National War 
 Labor Board. 
1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard 
 frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced by 
 'Victory Sausages.' 
1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive 
 against the retreating Germans in Eastern Europe. 
1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt 
 against the government and a republic was proclaimed. 
1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union 
 address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam 
 until Communist aggression there was ended. 
1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the 
 Nigerian civil war came to an end. 
1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 
1973 Yassar Arafat was re-elected as head of the 
 Palestinian Liberation Organization. 
1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing 
 President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out 
 of Kuwait. 
1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced that 
 as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry out 
 daylight street patrols in Belfast. 
1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to former 
 Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6 million. 
1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 
1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's 
 office with taped conversations between herself and former 
 White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at the 
 sight of an officer. 
2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned 
 to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million-mile 
2006 The U.S. Mint began shipping new 5-cent coins to the 12 
 regional Federal Reserve Banks. The coin has an image of Thomas 
 Jefferson taken from a 1800 Rembrandt Peale portrait in which 
 the president is looking forward. Since 1909, when presidents 
 were first depicted on circulating coins, all presidents had 
 been shown in profile. 
2015  smiled.

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