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Today is Monday, January 18

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas home intruder shot by home owner and arrested by cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 18 1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." History ______________________________________________________ With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing. --- Catherine de Hueck ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Western Australian Police have launched a new unit that roves around dealing with trouble spots. It made the TV news, with an officer proudly saying they were the: "Fast Action Response Team". Gotta love that acronym. ______________________________________________________ An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Randall Thomas Dorsett, 25, Hayes County, Texas
Texas home intruder shot by home owner and arrested by cops Late Monday night, the Hays County Sheriff's Office received a report of a suspicious person in the driveway of a home in rural Hays County. The Sheriff's Office says a female caller said she was at her home on Overland Stage Road in Dripping Springs with her three children, ages 9, 14, and 17. The homeowner says she saw a man unknown to her exit a vehicle in the driveway and approach her front door, which was locked. The man, identified as Randall Thomas Dorsett, 25, began to move the door handle, trying to gain entry, but he was unsuccessful. According to the Sheriff's Office, Dorsett then breached the garage and entered the home through the kitchen, where he was met by the homeowner, who was armed with a handgun. The homeowner demanded he leave the home several times. She told deputies that she became increasingly fearful of Dorsett's intentions toward her and her children. The homeowner fired one shot at Dorsett, striking him in the abdomen. STAR Flight transported Dorsett to Brackenridge Hospital, where he is expected to make a full recovery. His gunshot wound is described as a "through and through" wound, resulting in no major injury. Upon his release from the hospital, the suspect will be arrested for burglary of a habitation.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Hughes Net webmail font size Dear Webby I have HughesNet Webmail that's all I know, you see the difference in the size of my print in this email compared to your size print in this email, mine is so small, anyway thank you very much and you stay WARM !! maybe this problem will straighten itself up , I don't know. have a good day and thanks for all you do !! Ann. Dear Ann Hughes Net does not have any information about changing font size, and their "Help" is not helpful. Changing the font size of the system is totally ridiculous, when font sizes are perfect on everything else. You CAN, however, use the trick, that I have been advocating for decades: Hold down the CTR Key and turn the mouse scroll wheel to zoom. Many years ago, when you were still jail bait, I painted a reminder of that on the top of the side menu in the Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Fred was in the hospital recovering from a bypass operation. A member of his church's council came to visit. He said he brought greetings from the entire council and their wishes that he should recover soon and live a long and healthy life. Fred thanked him and said that was very nice. He was somewhat taken aback and said, "It's more than 'nice,' Father Fred. It was an official resolution ... passed by a vote of 14 to 12." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with thecost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Quick and Easy Garlic Rolls These are great when serving any Italian dishes, and easier to fix than Italian bread! Take one package of Pillsbury Grands Southern Style Flaky Rolls (8). Put them in a glass pie dish. Melt 3 tablespoons of fresh butter, add a sprinkle of salt and pepper, 1/4 teaspoon of basil leaves,1/8 of a teaspoon of garlic powder and a sprinkle of Italian seasoning. Source: My own idea! By Jackie H. [128] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?" ___________________________________________________
homemade fireworks
____________________________________________________ One evening, Joanne and two girlfriends went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, they felt old by comparison, but before they could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached them. "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," Joanne thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of her friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade. ____________________________________________________ Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?" A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?" "Not a thing," replied old doc Carver. "I can't get my instrument bag open." ____________________________________________________
The 21 Most Amazing National Geographic Photos Of 2015

Today, January 18, in
1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the 
Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 
1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's 
 Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved 
 north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 
1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed 
 the first German Emperor. 
1886 The Hockey Association was formed in England. This 
 date is the birthday of modern field hockey. 
1896 The x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time. 
1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot 
 Eugene B. Ely flew onto a special, inclined the deck of 
 the USS Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 
1919 The World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. 
1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded 
 "Jeepers Creepers." 
1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they had 
 broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began in 
 September of 1941. 
1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. Only 
 whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end of World War II. 
1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 
1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came to an 
 end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid-flight by 
 huge aerial tankers. 
1964 The plans for the original World Trade Center in New York 
 were unveiled to the public. 
1972 Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and his daughter 
 were placed under house arrest for campaigning against Rhodesian 
1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British 
 government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and degrading 
 treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 
1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was arrested 
 for drug possession. He was later convicted of a misdemeanor. 
1991 Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business due to 
 financial problems. 
1995 The "" domain was created. 
1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of 
 Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings 
 and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. 
1997 Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and three 
 soldiers and seriously wound an American in a night attack in 
 NW Rwanda. 
2000 The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was incorporated 
 in Beijing. 
2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the 
 approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 
2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against proposed 
 anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) known as the Protect 
 Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online 
 Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit, 
 Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended would make it 
 challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 
2015  smiled.

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