Indoor pictures look flat 

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Today is Monday, January 25

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ohio mom, who was arrested for using a toilet as a baby pen for 20 months old baby, while she went shopping. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 25 1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. History ______________________________________________________ Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Cassie was a really good mom. Once, after her small son fell into the pond and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, she sent him to his room while she washed and dried his clothes. A little later, Cassie heard a commotion in the back yard. She called out "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?" There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter." ______________________________________________________ As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?"
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______________________________________________________ One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman. "Mom, what's this?" I asked. "Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat," she answered. "Is it working?" I asked. "Yes and no," she explained. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justice Chance,20, Rashaan Cuffee, 20, Canton, Ohio Ohio mom, who was arrested for using a toilet as a baby pen for 20 months old baby, while she went shopping. Two people in Ohio are facing charges after their 20-month-old son was found stuck in a toilet after being left home alone. Police were called to an apartment on Kingston Drive Southeast in Canton on Thursday after neighbors reported hearing a child crying for more than 30 minutes, according to WJW. A maintenance worker for the building complex allowed police inside the apartment, where they found the 20-month-old boy stuck in a toilet. The child was home alone at the time, according to police. Officers freed the boy from the toilet and notified Child Protective Services. Officers also located three marijuana plants inside the home. The child's mother, Justice Chance, 20, was found two hours later walking up to the apartment complex while carrying Walmart bags. Investigators believe she left the child alone and went to Walmart. Chance told police her sister was supposed to be babysitting the child but she could not provide police her sister's last name, according to The Independent. Chance and the boy's father, Rashaan Cuffee, 20, were each charged with child endangering and marijuana cultivation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sue Re: Flat looking indoor pictures Dear Webby All my indoor pictures with my digital camera turn out flat looking. Outside pictures are fine. Can you tell me what to do so that my inside pictures look better? Thanks Sue Dear Sue Stop using the built in flash. Use an auxiliary flash if you have to, a movie light if you can. Position it above and to the side of you, at least an arms length away from you. If you use more than one, bunch them together all on the same side of you. Otherwise you kill the shadows and ruin the contrast. It's the shadows that give pictures a realistic three dimensional look. Without shadows most textures get lost and you get flat looking pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A Kindergarten teacher had a student approach her and saying that he found a frog lying still on the playground. The teacher asked, "Well, is it dead or alive?" The student said, "I think it's dead." The teacher asked, "How do you know?" The boy said, "I pssed in its ear". The teacher said "YOU DID WHAT?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said,'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies My husband and I are huge fans of Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the orange shaped chocolate balls that have a yummy hint of orange. I made this recipe out of the blue and it turned out WAY better than I thought it would. It is so elegant, rich and super easy to make. My version only has five ingredients. Approximate Time: 45 to 55 minutes Yield: 9 to 12 brownies Ingredients: 1 pkg plain brownie mix (I used a generic 10.25 ounce pack) 1 medium/large orange 1/4 cup oil 1 egg 2/3 cup chocolate chips or chunks (I chopped up candy bars) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Take the zest off the whole orange. Chocolate Orange Fudge BrowniesChocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Separate orange zest equally in two bowls. Put one aside. Chocolate Orange Fudge Brownies Cut the orange into segments and squeeze the juice into one of the orange zest bowls. It should give you about half a cup of juice. Crack open and whisk your egg. Add orange juice and zest mixture into egg. Mix in the oil. Add package of brownie powder. Mix well, stirring at least 50 times. Add chocolate chips/chunks to your batter. Pour batter into a greased pan. Sprinkle the top with reserved orange zest. Depending on the size of your pan, bake from 35 to 40 minutes (do a toothpick test). Cool, cut into squares, and serve! By attosa [164] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent.." Oh, Papa," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving mother." "I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed Mr. Jones. "You just take her with you." ___________________________________________________
night skiing with LED lights
____________________________________________________ The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves." ____________________________________________________ Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, "What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?" The other boy replied thoughtfully, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just Uncle Bob, too." ____________________________________________________
Glimpses into the past.

Today, January 25, in
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against retainers 
 and liveries to curb private warfare. 
1533 England's King Henry VIII secretly married his second wife 
 Anne Boleyn. Boleyn later gave birth to Elizabeth I. 
1579 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed marking the beginning of 
 the Dutch Republic. 
1799 Eliakim Spooner patented the seeding machine. 
1858 Mendelssohnís "Wedding March" was presented for the first 
 time at the wedding of the daughter of Queen Victoria and the 
 Crown Prince of Prussia. 
1870 G.D. Dows patented the ornamental soda fountain. 
1881 Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and others signed an 
 agreement to organize the Oriental Telephone Company. 
1890 The United Mine Workers of America was founded. 
1915 In New York, Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his assistant in 
 San Francisco, inaugurating the first transcontinental telephone 
1924 The 1st Winter Olympic Games were inaugurated in Chamonix in 
 the French Alps. 
1946 The United Mine Workers rejoined American Federation of Labor. 
1959 In the U.S., American Airlines had the first scheduled 
 transcontinental flight of a Boeing 707. 
1961 John F. Kennedy presented the first live presidential news 
 conference from Washington, DC. The event was carried on radio 
 and television. 
1971 Maj. Gen. Idi Amin led a coup that deposed Milton Obote and 
 became president of Uganda. 
1981 The 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days arrived in 
 the United States and were reunited with their families. 
1999 In Louisville, KY, a man received the first hand transplant 
 in the United States. 
2011 A revolution began in Egypt with the demonstrations that 
 demanded the end of President Hosni Mubarak's rule. 
2015  smiled.

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