Clear carpet mats around desks 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, January 30

Thank you, Jim !!!

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. History ______________________________________________________ Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. --- Timothy Leary (1920 - 1996) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean Daughter: "Daddy, I am coming home to get married! Take out your checkbook! I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me! I am in California and he lives in New York! We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viper! Dad, I need your blessings, good wishes, and a big wedding!" Father: "Wow! Really, then get married on Twitter; have fun on Tango; buy your kids on Amazon and pay through PayPal. And if you get fed up with your husband...sell him on Ebay! ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ >From Walter, the Stonecarver: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. Visit or to see lots of photos of these amazing, beautiful works of art. Walter is involved in restoring these sculptures and remedying hundreds of years of pollution damage on the ancient marble. Here are a couple pictures from the many sculptures: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. ______________________________________________________ A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, slapped his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, girlie, it's back to the village for you." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Boulet, Tacoma, Washington Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap A suspected car thief trying to run from police got a surprise when he tried to steal a police patrol car and wound up sitting in an officerís lap. Fife police Lt. Tom Thompson said the man was spotted acting suspicious near a motel around 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, so a patrol sergeant stopped to check the license on the car he was driving. It came back as stolen. As the sergeant followed the suspect, identified as David Boulet, Boulet jumped from the car and ran. Police said Boulet climbed a fence and ran through traffic in both the north and southbound lanes of Interstate 5, dodging cars. Meanwhile, a Tacoma police officer, hearing the chase over the radio, stopped on the Port of Tacoma road overpass and turned on his red and blue lights. Thompson said Boulet ran from the freeway through heavy brush and onto the overpass, apparently looking for a getaway car. He spotted the patrol car with lights flashing, ran toward it, pulled the door open, got in and sat down in the officerís lap, apparently unaware that the officer was still behind the wheel. Thompson said the officer was stunned at first, then recognized Bouletís description as the suspect leading police on a foot pursuit. Boulet was wrestled to the ground and placed under arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Deborah Re: Clear floor mats for desks Dear Webby How well do those clear plastic floor mats that you see in many offices protect the carpet? Debrah Those clear floor mats are not really intended to protect the carpet, but to make it easier for chairs to roll around. After a year or two you can quite definitely spot where the carpet had been covered by a mat and where it had been exposed to air, light, and usage. Carpet ages differently when exposed and used, and the areas under the floor mats will look identical to the areas under the file cabinets, however, that is usually quite preferable to the bald spots your carpet might get if you don't use them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from No Bake Chocolate Mint Cookies This is a very simple way to get your fix of those crispy, chocolatey, minty cookies. I had seen a similar recipe and they used Andes baking chips. I had never heard of them. But sure enough, there they were at Target! I almost paid the $3 for the bag, but realized I probably had all the ingredients at home to make them just as good. Be warned that once you eat one, you will want to keep going until the whole platter is gone! Approximate Time: 10 minutes, plus time for the chocolate to harden Yield: About 20 "cookies" Ingredients: 20 Ritz crackers 1/4 bag (4 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used mini) 1 Tbsp shortening 1/2 tsp peppermint extract Steps: Put your chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Add chocolate chips and shortening. You can skip the shortening, if you like. I always use it and rarely have chocolate "seize" on me. Microwave 30 seconds to start with. Take out of the microwave and stir. Put in the microwave and heat another 20-30 seconds. Stir until the chocolate is smooth. Add 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, stir and then taste. Don't go crazy with this stuff. If you want it a little more minty, add a few more drops. Stir the extract into the chocolate. Take your cracker and dip it into the melted chocolate. I like to use a spoon to pour the chocolate on top. You can use a fork underneath to pull the cracker out. Wipe the fork against the bowl to get the excess chocolate off. Place on a piece of wax paper. Wait patiently for the chocolate to harden. Enjoy! By Becky Miles [100] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As a passenger ship passed a small island, a bearded man could be seen shouting and furiously waving his arms. "Who is that?" a passenger asked the captain. "I have no idea," the captain replied, "But every year when we pass he goes nuts." ___________________________________________________
Remember the one who fed you the ball watch to the end :D
____________________________________________________ Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you make?" asked the banker. "Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because it is a lot safer to argue with you than with her." ____________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ____________________________________________________
The strangest living bird I've ever seen.

Today, January 30, in
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the 
 River Tyne. 
1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives 
 took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold 
 fought on the House floor. 
1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 
1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", 
 was launched. 
1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old 
 mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his 
 hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 
1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 
1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask 
 for a larger army. 
1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. 
 The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 
1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer 
 "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean 
 about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 
1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. 
 The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 
1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 
1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was 
 murdered by a Hindu extremist. 
1958 Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major fashion 
 show in Paris. 
1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at 
 Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through 
 the airport was 1,435 feet. 
1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were 
 killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a 
 performance in Detroit, MI. 
1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned 
 spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally 
 crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any 
 pictures to Earth. 
1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched 
 surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 
1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed 
 thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known 
 as "Bloody Sunday." 
1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to 
 allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living 
 in exile in France flooding Iran with cassette tapes of his 
1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 
 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security 
 responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 
1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National 
 Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his 
 unemployment benefit. 
1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female 
 prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner 
 bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an 
2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of 
 an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending 
 his actions during the Balkan wars. 
2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to 
 high production costs and cheap imports. 
2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 
 took place. 
2015  smiled.

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