Is MailWasher getting slow? 

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Today is Wednesday, February 3

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man in Florida arrested for driving wrong way on flat tire was arrested for DUI Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 3, in 1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that were fighting in the war against Quebec. History ______________________________________________________ Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) "It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'" --- Sam Levenson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a slightly out-of-shape kindergarten teacher. "I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout with less than 3 coffee and cake breaks," she said. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my mother-in-law would appreciate that." "Your mother-in-law?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn to swim in a hurry." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mark D. Holiday, 54, Saratoga Springs, New York NY man in Florida arrested for driving wrong way on flat tire was arrested for DUI A 54-year-old man with a Saratoga Springs, New York, address was arrested Sunday night after he was seen driving his grey Infinity station wagon the wrong way on a street, with a flat tire, and cut off another vehicle. The witness called 911. A Marion County Sheriff's Office deputy arrived to find Mark D. Holiday found standing next to the car in the 17000 block of Buena Vista Boulevard in the Marion County section of The Villages. Holiday had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath, bloodshot eyes and slurred speech, according to the MCSO report. Holiday told the deputy he had "drank a little" and had a flat tire, the report notes. Holiday failed roadside sobriety tests. He was arrested and charged with DUI and was taken to the Marion County Jail, where he provided breath samples that showed blood alcohol levels of .192 and .200. The state legal limit at which someone is presumed to be intoxicated is .08. The report states that Holiday had prior DUI convictions in 1996 in New York and in 2005 in California. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frieda Re: Mailwasher is getting slow Dear Webby My MailWasher, -Thanks for telling me about it ! - , is getting really slow. What now ? Frieda Dump the Blacklist. Most spammers nowadays use fake disposable addresses, and never use them a second time because of the blacklists. Instead make filters from their most used topics. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, about half of them." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Marking Adapter Cords I have a lot of electronic adapter cords with the black boxes that plug into an outlet. I don't use them all the time. To keep it straight as to which item each one belongs to, I use white out, or a white out pen (aka Liquid Paper) to mark them with. Anything black that needs to be labeled can be marked with white out. I use white out to put my social security number on things. By Nightsong [39] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ___________________________________________________
Boys will ALWAYS be boys!
____________________________________________________ Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside. Hurt, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?" "Of course, dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ____________________________________________________ "What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of registration. "He's a magician," said the new boy. "How exciting. What's his best trick?" "He saws people in half." "How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?" " half brother and two half sisters." ____________________________________________________
Hummm...mountains, beach or jungle.... can't make up my mind. I want to go to all of them!

Today, February 3, in
1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at 
 Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have 
 landed on the southern extremity of Africa. 
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec. 
1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 
1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was 
 established in Switzerland. 
1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed 
 it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and 
 Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been 
 printed on a train. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 
1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings 
 burned down. 
1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, 
 which had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 
1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the longest 
 streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 
1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore 
 Pierre Laval to office. 
1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan. 
1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon 
 was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 
1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, Yasser 
 Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 
1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo
1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman 
 executed in the U.S. since 1984. 
1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing the 
 death of 20 skiers on a lift. 
2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold 
 for $103.7 million. 
2015 The British House of Commons voted to approve letting 
 scientists create babies from the DNA of three people. 
2015  smiled.

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