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Today is Monday, February 8

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia mom was arrested after 'knocking out son’s assistant principal in school attack' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 8, in 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. History ______________________________________________________ A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married. --- H.L. Mencken All science is either physics or stamp collecting. --- Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937) And then there is elaboration of fashionable concepts without bothering to collect any data or stamps. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Grampa was telling his youngest grandson abuot his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals." His grandson, Alexander, said, "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then to know the whole horrible truth!" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Mike's parents have four children. Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter. What is the fourth child's name? ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Mike's name is simply: Mike. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tracy Lawrence, 43, Portsmouth, Virginia Virginia mom was arrested after 'knocking out son’s assistant principal in school attack' A Virginia mom was arrested after attacking her son’s assistant principal in her office. Tracy Lawrence is accused of knocking out Sylvia Hodges-Melvin at Lakeview Elementary School in Portsmouth. Lawrence was told her son had been disruptive in class, when she suddenly exploded in a rage and punched Hodges-Melvin. “How would you feel if I mushed your head?” the 43-year-old reportedly screamed, according to The police report says Lawrence hit Hodges-Melvin so hard, she fell down and was briefly knocked out. Police say they don't believe any children witnessed the altercation Tuesday evening. Lawrence, who has three children at the school, was arrested at her home and charged with assault and battery and disorderly conduct. She was granted a $10,000 bond during a Wednesday hearing and was also ordered to have no contact with anyone at the school. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Barbara Re: Bounce messages Dear Webby I send out messges to "group" addys for our church. Sometimes I get a message back that my mail did not get delivered because of a bad/discontinued addy. Does that mean NONE of the folks received the message or only the one(s) with bad addresses? Barbara Dear Barbara All other messages in that batch were delivered normally, only those with bounce messages were bounced. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food in general and Won Ton soup in particular. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Homemade Tea and Coffee Lattes I don't know about you, but I hate paying the price of coffee lattes and chai tea lattes. They are around $3.50 for a medium or large. I now make them at home anytime I want one, simply by using a stick blender or wand. Or you could use a mixer to get that frothy topping. I buy my favorite teas, french vanilla, black chai tea, or caramel black chai tea, or any favorite tea you would like. For coffee latte, use your leftover coffee, add vanilla extract and cinnamon or any spice you like. For both tea and coffee lattes I use liquid dairy flavored creamers. I buy the low fat and sugar free. For tea latte, boil 1 cup of water in the microwave or tea kettle. Put the tea bag and sugar or any sweetener in your cup, add the boiling water. Let this steep for a few minutes. Take the tea bag out. Add 2 tablespoons of vanilla creamer. Pour this into a large cup. I always place this in the sink, because it sometimes spatters. And blend this for 1 full minute. Pour it back into the mug, you will have the frothy top, add a few sprinkles of cinnamon or nutmeg, whichever you like. I use pumpkin spice. Follow the same steps for coffee lattes, excluding the hot water. Enjoy your lattes! Free of charge! By Jackie H. 134 ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Our neighbour used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side." ___________________________________________________
Skiing down the mountain using your phone as a lasso
____________________________________________________ I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal." ____________________________________________________ A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old." ____________________________________________________
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Today, February 8, in
1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 
1861 The Confederate States of America were formed. 
1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted 
 a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal 
 government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 
 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 
1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were 
 beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 
1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian 
 forces in Manchuria. 
1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President 
 Harding had it installed. 
1927 The original version of "Getting Gertie’s Garter" opened 
 at the Hippodrome Theatre in New York City. 
1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her 
 father, George VI, had died on February 6. 
1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba 
 and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba 
 illegal for U.S. citizens. 
1971 The Nasdaq stock-market index debuted. 
1973 U.S. Senate leaders named seven members of a select 
 committee to investigate the Watergate scandal. 
1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned 
 to Earth after 84 days. 
1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio 
 for the first time. The subject was the Panama Canal treaties. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re-introduce 
 draft registration. 
1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS 
1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had 
 rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were 
 prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was 
 settled the following day by NBC. 
2002 The exhibit "Places of Their Own" opened at the National 
 Museum of Women in the Arts. The works displayed were by 
 Georgia O'Keeffe, Frida Kahlo and Emily Carr.
2015  smiled.

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