What is the reason for Daylight Savings Time? 

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Today is Wednesday, February 17

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15, in 1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. History ______________________________________________________ Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams Do you realize that if Bernie Sanders wins, it will be the first time that a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family? --- Lillemor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman had a faithful cat. And one day, a man ran over the cat. So, he went to the old woman and said: "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him." "That so nice of you!" said the old woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store... (please scroll down the page.) What were you thinking? -- her husband speaks English! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jack Rutley, 20, Teeside, England Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind A twisted burglar who soiled his victim’s bed, ransacked his home and stole his car was jailed for three years. Teesside’s most senior judge told Jack Rutley, 20, that he might have thought it was funny when he smeared his excrement on the man’s bedsheets. But the disgusting mess rebounded on him because Scenes of Crime officers were able to use it to identify him from his DNA on their records. The Recorder of Middlesbrough, Judge Simon Bourne-Arton QC, sent him to prison saying: “You may have thought it entirely amusing at the time, of course, but it was your undoing, and in my view that was a very serious aspect of the case.” Prosecuter David Crook told Teesside Crown Court that the bedding had to be destroyed after the discovery at the house in Middlesbrough on September 19 last year. He read out a Victim Impact Statement from the man, who lived there alone: “I am upset and disgusted that the defendant had defecated in my home.” Graham Brown, defending, said Rutley and his family were disgusted by his actions. Mr Brown added: “We accept that the sentence likely to be passed is one only of custody. “He has no previous convictions for burglary recorded against him. (Just some other ones, that got his DNA recorded) “He has a supportive family who are ashamed of what he has done. He pleaded guilty and I accept that the evidence was such that there was no alternative to admitting it.” Mr Crook said the man had packed his VW Passat car with stock to take to a car boot sale before he went out, returning in the early hours to find the vehicle had gone and his house had been ransacked. A neighbour’s CCTV showed two men driving off in it and returning later. The car was also filmed at a filling station where the driver, Rutley, drove off without paying for petrol and diesel. Police also arrested a second man whose fingerprint was found on some of the stolen property. Tyrone Ackerman, 29, denied he was involved in the burglary but admitted being driven by Rutley in the Passat. Rachel Dyson, defending him, said that he was aware at the time that the goods were stolen but he did not know they came from a domestic burglary. Rutley, of Wand Hill Gardens, Saltburn, was jailed for 36 months, including 32 months for the burglary, after he pleaded guilty to burglary, taking without consent and making off without payment. Ackerman, of Cedarmoor Gardens, Stainton, was jailed for 37 weeks after he pleaded guilty to handling stolen goods and being carried in a car taken without consent. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robbie Re: Daylight Savings Time Dear Webby What is the reason for daylight savings time ? Robbie Dear Robbie There is no valid reason. It's just government policy. The farmers in Saskatchewan voted against it, because the wives and the cattle don't like it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 The marks that need to line up on the toaster dial were hard to see on my parents' toaster. So they marked theirs with a little bit of red nail polish. Now it is easy to see what setting the dial is on and you will be less likely to burn your toast. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forgot the other two. ___________________________________________________
Unchained Melody - indian flutes
____________________________________________________ Shortly after arriving at the University of Washington, Babs joined some new friends on a trip to nearby Vancouver, British Columbia. It was her first trip outside the United States. At the border, a guard asked how long they would stay in Canada. Knowing it would be after midnight when they returned, she asked, "How late will we be able to get back across the border?" "Any time, Ma'am," the guard said. "We never close Canada." ____________________________________________________ Angus McIveer needed the aid of a specialist, but the fees appalled him. It was $250 for the first visit, and $100 for subsequent visits. Still, it was a matter of life and death, and besides, he had an idea. As he entered the doctor's office, the miser said cordially, "Well, Doctor, here I am -- again!" But the doctor had met this type before. He made a great show of examining the patient with minute thoroughness, and then said "Just continue with the same treatment as before!" ____________________________________________________
Cirque du Soleil, 'nuff said.

Today on February 17
1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of 
 Baltimore, MD. 
1865 Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating and 
 the Union Forces were moving in. 
1876 Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can 
1878 In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone 
 exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 
1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years 
 after Chic Young’s popular strip first debuted. 
1934 The first high school automobile driver’s education course 
 was introduced in State College, PA. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. 
 U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 
1947 The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. 
1964 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that congressional districts 
 within each state had to be approximately equal in population.
1992 In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to 
 life in prison. In November of 1994, he was beaten to death 
 in prison. 
1995 Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the 
 December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was later 
 sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 
1996 World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM supercomputer 
 "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 
2005 U.S. President George W. Bush named John Negroponte as the 
 first national intelligence director.
2015  smiled.

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