Priotities when buying a computer on a budget 

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Today is WWednesday, February 24

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio woman, who did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. History ______________________________________________________ Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his. --- Franklin P. Jones The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This couple were dining out when the wife noticed her ex-husband at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "Wow!", George exclaimed, "Seven years ! That's quite some celebration !" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Artur absolutely hated his wife Susan's dog decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the dog was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the dog 40 blocks away and the same again. Driving back up his driveway, there was the dog! He kept taking the dog further and further and the darn dog would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the dog there. Hours later, the Artur called home to Susan: "Susan, is the dog there?" "Yes", the Susan answered..."why do you ask?" Frustrated, Artur answered: "Send him to fetch me. I'm lost and need directions!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kimberly Hammond, 48, Parkersburg, Washington County, Ohio Ohio woman did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness. An Ohio woman assaulted her husband during an argument because he did not buy her a Valentine’s Day gift, deputies told WTAP. Washington County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to a home just outside Parkersburg, Ohio around 11 a.m. Sunday and found a man with several injuries. The man told deputies his wife, Kimberly Hammond, 46, had been drinking and began to hit and scratch his face during a verbal altercation. She then allegedly grabbed a mini baseball bat and struck him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Hammond continued to attack her husband as he regained consciousness, according to deputies. According to deputies, Hammond said she was upset because her husband did not buy her a gift on Valentine’s Day. Hammond admitted to drinking and blew a .221 during a breathalyzer test. She was arrested for felonious assault and domestic violence, according to deputies. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harvey W. Re: Priority on new computer Dear Webby We are going to take the plunge and buy a computer. We have been using our daughter's, but she and her hubby are moving out to a place of their own. Unfortunately we can't afford a fully decked out dream machine and have to cut corners on something. Which corner should we cut short, and which item should get priority? Harvey Dear Harvey Priority is the monitor. You can always get more RAM or a faster processor, but you can't get new eyes. Even a big, beautiful 24 inch screen costs less than a new pair of glasses. If computer dealers had the same mark-ups as Optometrists, a monitor would cost more than a car. Second highest priority, after you have chosen the biggest and sharpest monitor, is RAM. Get as much as you can. Hard drive and processor speed are irrelevant for casual home use. They only count when the kids brag on the school bus. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Keli: Mary, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence." Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Recipe: Baked Salmon Cakes By Judy Pariser S. 91 76 These salmon cakes are baked in muffin tins. They are moist, tasty and healthy. They freeze well for future meals, and go great in lunch boxes. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 8-10 salmon cakes Ingredients: 1 can (14 3/4 oz) salmon, drained with skin and bones removed 1 1/2 cup soft whole wheat bread crumbs (I used the heel and one slice of bread) 1/2 cup sweet red pepper, chopped fine 1/2 cup egg substitute (I used 2 eggs) 3 green onions, thinly sliced (I used 1/2 an onion, finely chopped) 1/4 cup celery, chopped fine 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, minced (I used a small amount of dried) 3 Tbsp mayonnaise 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1 garlic clove, minced a few dashes hot pepper sauce, more if desired Sauce 2 Tbsp mayonnaise 1/4 tsp capers, drained 1/4 tsp dried dill weed a dash of lemon juice Steps: In a large bowl combine the first 11 ingredients. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray. Use 1/3 cup salmon mixture for each muffin tin. (The recipe says 8, but I filled 10 muffin tins). Put water in any unfilled tins. Bake at 425°F for 10-15 minutes, or until a thermometer reads 160°F. While the cakes are baking, combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl. Serve the cakes with some sauce on the top. Nutritional Facts: 2 salmon cakes with 1 1/2 teaspoons of sauce = 266 calories, 9 g fat (2 g saturated fat), 48 mg cholesterol, 914 mg sodium, 17 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 28 g protein. Source: Taste of Home newsletter You can use that recipe also with canned tuna. Rinse it well with lemon water. And modify the recipe slightly by adding very finely chopped onion. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Bobbie went to a church conference with his parents.. He got restless, so his mother dug into her voluminous purse and found him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the preacher said the word "and." After a while, he grew bored, and she asked, "Do you want to listen for a different word?" "Yes," he said, none too quietly, "I want to hear 'AMEN!!!'." ___________________________________________________
Expand your Key Fob range - Interesting experiment
____________________________________________________ Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," said Pete, "but I wrote down Horticulturist." ____________________________________________________ Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Alabama town: "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST." ____________________________________________________
Sink holes are appearing all over the world and no one knows why or what to do.

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA. 
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 
1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." 
 More widely known as lawn tennis. 
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law. 
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 
 It had been produced before in France, but not in large 
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000. 
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army. 
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for 
 $10 million. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 
1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial 
 $1 gold coin. 
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the 
 Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
 battle with the Japanese.
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. 
 Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of 
 these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
 began in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped 
 by Cuban rebels. 
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 
1970 Guyana became a republic. 
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for 
 the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on 
 February 4th. 
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
 parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken 
 on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
 border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four 
 days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of 
 Iraqi forces. 
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 
1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely 
1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire 
 on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire 
 State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more 
 before killing himself. 
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged 
 and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 
1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. 
 The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the 
 Kurdish rebel leader. 
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
 kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 
 200 feet over an oncoming train. 
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
 that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of 
 the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 
 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people 
 had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.
2016  smiled.

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