Possibly legit telemarketers 

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Today is Thursday, February 25

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ontario teacher, freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. History ______________________________________________________ You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. --- Cecil Baxter Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old already in the cell. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Topfive.com's Number 1 Reason More Americans are Having Nervous Breakdowns... " 1> Because the heightened levels of adrenal secretion caused by environmen-- HEY!!! Friggin' AOL disconnected me again!! " ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, Stirling, Ontario Ontario teacher freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. A local elementary school teacher has been released from custody after being charged with 36 counts of sex crimes involving four minors. Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, who is also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, of Stirling, is free on a $100,000 bond. She appeared in a bail hearing Friday in Belleville court. Ontario Provincial Police confirmed the woman is employed as a teacher with the Belleville-based Hastings and Prince Edward District School Board. A ban on publication has been ordered to protect the identities of the complainants, four boys who were believed to have been students at the time of the alleged incidents. None of the allegations have been proven in court, nor, said the defence lawyer for the accused, has full disclosure of all information in the Crown's case been made to the accused and her lawyer. Ontario Provincial Police investigator Sgt. Peter Leon said the charges now involve four young people ages 12 to 15 and date from 2013 to 2016. Investigators say the incidents occurred in Tweed. Sources say it is believed the alleged incidents occurred when McLaren/Jones was a French teacher in Tweed. Sources also said she had been transferred out of that school in recent months, however. McLaren/Jones is charged with eight counts of sexual exploitation, six counts of luring a person younger than 16 and six counts of making sexually explicit material available to a person under 16. McLaren/Jones is charged with three counts of making child pornography and one count of making sexually explicit material available to children. She’s also charged with with four counts each of sexual assault on a person younger than 16, sexual interference with a person younger than 16 and making an invitation to sexual touching involving a person younger than 16. Police began investigating McLaren/Jones on Sunday Feb. 14. On Monday, Feb 15, they charged the teacher and she was held in custody until her release Friday in Belleville court. It is reported McLaren/Jones has been removed from her teaching position, but it is unclear if she is on paid leave while the matters are before the court. Represented by Belleville defence lawyer Pieter Kort, McLaren/Jones was released from custody into the care of her parents by Justice of the Peace Sam Cureatz. Cureatz ordered her not to have any contact with the four minors involved as complainants in the case or with any boy younger than 18. She must avoid public places where minors may gather and has been ordered not to possess a cell phone. Computers in her parents’ home were to be removed and McLaren/Jones is also banned from possessing weapons. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen B. Re: Possibly legit telemarketers Dear Webby A while ago you had some great advice about dealing with telemarketers. That works just fine and is a lot of fun with regular telemarketers. However, we also get calls from sales people from companies that we DO regularly buy supplies from. Naturally, if their salesmen call during busy times and try to practise their sales pitch on my receptionist, she follows your advice and either sends them to the rejection line or asks them if they like goats. She is a very sweet and otherwise very proper lady in her mid sixties and I almost wet my pants the first time I heard her do that. The problem is that some of our suppliers don't have a sense of humor and get into a snit about it. What solution have you got for salesmen of potentially legitimate suppliers who simply call at a too busy time? Thanks Helen B Dear Helen Your receptionist can simply tell them to send you an email. The flakey telemarketers don't have email, and the others you can weed out a lot faster than phone answering machine messages. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups By attosa [181 Posts, 440 Comments] Making homemade fruit roll ups is one of the ways I like to use up apples that have gotten a bit soft. Making this cinnamon apple takes only a few ingredients, but technically, you could just use just apples for a super healthy plain one. Approximate Time: 3 hours Yield: 4 fruit roll ups Ingredients: 2 medium apples (I used 1 Gala and 1 Red Delicious) 1/4 cup water 1 Tbsp sugar 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: Preheat oven to 175 F. Peel and chop apples. Place them in a pot with water and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for 10 minutes until they're soft. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Add sugar and cinnamon. Give it a mashing, and cook another couple minutes. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Place this mixture into a blender and process until smooth. Pour onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (or a Silpat). Spread into a nice, even thin layer. Bake for 2 to 3 hours. It's ready when you touch it and it doesn't stick to your fingers. Let cool and cut into strips. They will easily peel off the parchment paper. I don't peel apples, ever! That's where the healthy stuff is. I just core them and then use a blender to purree the stuff. Because I am a diabetic, I don't use sugar. A very ripe pear sweetens it quite nicely. Once in a while, to get an interesting change, I toss in Anis seed or ground cloves. And I skip the water, since it just gets boiled away anyway. With a good blender, that has a "purree" setting,there is no need for water. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A lady was shopping for a turkey in a grocery store and after pawing through the freezer section and growing dissatisfied with the small ones that were left, she turned to the stock boy and asked snippily, "Don't these turkeys get any bigger?" To which he calmly replied, "No maam. They're dead!" ___________________________________________________
When the Roses Bloom Again - Wilco
____________________________________________________ "Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty women .....now the "Y" is silent" ____________________________________________________ As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City. There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement." ____________________________________________________
Unlikely Friends

Today on February 25
1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V.
1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act 
 in the U.S. 
1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) 
 for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 
1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical 
 motor. There was no practical electical distribution system 
 available and Davenport went bankrupt. 
1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax. 
1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax 
 on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 
1930 The bank check photographing device was patented. 
1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first 
 ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel 
 up as an aircraft carrier. 
1940 The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in 
 the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game 
 was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed 
 position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 
1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 
1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late 
 Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress 
 in Moscow. 
1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorist who 
 had hijacked a jumbo jet. 
1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the 
 Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 
1999 William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder 
 of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were 
 later convicted for their involvement. 
2000 In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City 
 police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges 
 in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 
2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings 
 in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced 
 to 10 life prison terms.
2016  smiled.

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