How to make invoices 

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Today is Wednesday, March 2

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man on Tampa’s ‘most wanted’ list chews off fingertip skin to avoid being identified by police Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 2, in 1807 The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the importation of slaves into any port or place within the jurisdiction of the United States." History ______________________________________________________ Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. --- Pete Seeger In heaven all the interesting people are missing. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." --- Confucius "Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater." --- William Hazlitt ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was their fifth anniversary, and Sandra and Michael had just returned from the movies. Sandra was feeling romantic. "Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?" she crooned. "Why not?" Michael grunted. "Didn't I love you through hundred fourty seven other colors and shades?" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Bill decided to stop worrying about his wife's driving and took advantage of it. He got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 toll number on it. At $1 a call, her driving will have earned her a new car by Christmas. ______________________________________________________ Rome, Italy From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Reported by Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirk Kelly, 24, Tampa, Floriduh Florida man on Tampa’s ‘most wanted’ list chews off fingertip skin to avoid being identified by police A Florida man went to extreme measures to avoid being identified by police, reports. Kirk Kelly, 24, was stopped by police in Tallmadge, Ohio, and in an effort to hide his identity, he chewed off the skin on his fingertips so he couldn’t be fingerprinted. Kelly was stopped at about 3 a.m. on Sunday and gave police two fake IDs and his younger brother’s name. As a result, police were having trouble verifying his identification. When he overheard police talking about using a portable device to check his fingerprints, Kelly, who was not handcuffed, chewed off all the skin on the pads of his fingers. “I’ve heard of people sanding them and so forth, but I’ve never had a person chew their fingers off during an investigative process,” Tallmage police Chief Ron Williams told NewsNet5. Tampa police believe he sold the guns that were used in multiple murders. He has a nationwide felony warrant out for drug, weapons and racketeering charges. Kelly has distinctive tattoos that in the end helped police figure out who he was, reports. He was charged with tampering with evidence. As he was being arrested, Kelly tried to run from police, who tackled him and took him into custody. He has a nation-wide warrant for his arrest, Williams said. “I think it’s shocking,” Williams told NewsNet5. “I think it explains why a person would chew their fingerprints off.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harold K Re: Making invoices Dear Webby We are doing our invoices as PDF files so that supposedly they can not be changed later. Well, nowadays there are free programs that can edit and even create PDF files. To add insult to injury, the PDF files take an awful lot of space and it wastes a lot of time making them. How do big companies handle that? Harold Dear Harold We post invoices in passworded folders on the web that can be viewed only by the person who gets an email link to their invoice. The email also carries the password. The invoice on the web can be printed by the client, but they can not change things on them. Since on invoices the fancy header and the footer with the small print stays the same for every invoice, we have those parts on the net in two include files that are called by every invoice. The only thing the actual invoice carries is what is actually different for that particular invoice. And that is just a very tiny HTML file, typically 2-3 KB. By contrast, in PDF format the same invoice would take about 300 KB. If you use HTML invoices like that, then you can generate the fresh "content" that goes between the unchanging header and footer with any program you want, as long as it can make or fake an HTML table. Even a spreadsheet will do that. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Ms Myrna from the Department of Motor Vehicles finally retired (-to everybody's great relief-). She had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. Myrna's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "But you ARE giving me back my shot gun for that job, right?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Tip: Drying Flowers With Cat Litter Comment by Irene Dear Webby Your alternate product is much better than cat litter. As you mentioned, cat litter has Nil-Odor or a similar odor killer. Zorb-All doesn't. The roses keep their aroma, or most of it, unlike with the cat litter, which makes them smell like cat litter. Thanks Irene ______________________________________________________
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_____________________________________________________ Southern style insult: "Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home." ___________________________________________________
The Gift
____________________________________________________ Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits on the sidewalk in the sun outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?" Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" Little Johnny says, "Cause they are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean and fresh air." ____________________________________________________ For the first time in many years, an old man travels from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. He hands the attendant $1.50 and comments, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replies, "you're really going to enjoy yourself. We have color and sound now!" ____________________________________________________
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Today on March 2
1807 The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the 
 importation of slaves into any port or place within the 
 jurisdiction of the United States." 
1836 Texas declared its independence from Mexico and an 
 ad interim government was formed. 
1866 Excelsior Needle Company began making sewing machine 
1897 U.S. President Cleveland vetoed legislation that would 
 have required a literacy test for immigrants entering the 
1899 Mount Rainier National Park in Washington was established
1899 U.S. President McKinley signed a measure that created the 
 rank of Admiral for the U.S. Navy. The first admiral was 
 George Dewey.
1900 The U.S. Congress voted to give $2 million in aid to 
 Puerto Rico. 
1901 The first telegraph company in Hawaii opened. 
1901 The U.S. Congress passed the Platt amendment, which limited 
 Cuban autonomy as a condition for withdrawal of U.S. troops. 
1903 The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in New York 
 City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first hotel exclusively 
 for women. 
1906 A tornado in Mississippi killed 33 and did $5 million in damage. 
1907 In Hamburg, Germany, dock workers went on strike after the end 
 of the night shift. British strike breakers were brought in. The 

 issue was settled on April 22, 1907. 
1908 In Paris, Gabriel Lippmann introduced three-dimensional color 
 photography at the Academy of Sciences. 
1917 The Russian Revolution began with Czar Nicholas II abdicating. 
1917 Citizens of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship with the 
 enactment of the Jones Act. 
1925 State and federal highway officials developed a nationwide 
 route-numbering system and adopted the familiar U.S. shield-shaped, 
 numbered marker. 
1929 The U.S. Court of Customs & Patent Appeals was created by the 
 U.S. Congress. 
1933 The motion picture King Kong had its world premiere in New York. 
1939 The Massachusetts legislature voted to ratify the Bill of Rights 
 to the U.S. Constitution. These first ten amendments had gone into 
 effect 147 years before. 
1946 Ho Chi Minh was elected President of Vietnam. 
1949 The B-50 Superfortress Lucky Lady II landed in Fort Worth, TX. 
 The American plane had completed the first non-stop around-the-world 
1969 In Toulouse, France, the supersonic transport Concorde made its 
 first test flight. 
1983 The U.S.S.R. performed an underground nuclear test. 
1984 The first McDonald's franchise was closed. A new location was 
 opened across the street from the old location in Des Plaines, IL. 
1985 The U.S. government approved a screening test for AIDS that 
 detected antibodies to the virus that allowed possibly contaminated 
 blood to be kept out of the blood supply. 
1986 Corazon Aquino was sworn into office as president of the 
 Philippines. Her first public declaration was to restore the civil 
 rights of the citizens of her country. 
1987 The U.S. government reported that the median price for a new 
 home had gone over $100,000 for the first time. 
1989 Representatives from the 12 European Community nations all 
 agreed to ban all production of CFCs (chlorofluorocarbons) by 
 the end of the 20th century. 
1995 Russian anti-corruption journalist Vladislav Listyev was 
 killed by a gunman in Moscow. 
1995 Nick Leeson was arrested for his role in the collapse of 
 Britain's Barings Bank. 
1998 The U.N. Security Council endorsed U.N. chief Kofi Annan's 
 deal to open Iraq's presidential palaces to arms inspectors. 
1998 Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated that 
 the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source of 
 interior heat. 
2000 In Great Britain, Chile's former President Augusto Pinochet 
 Ugarte was freed from house arrest and allowed to return to Chile. 
 Britain's Home Secretary Jack Straw had concluded that Pinochet 
 was mentally and physically unable to stand trial. Belgium, 
 France, Spain and Switzerland had sought the former Chilean 
 leader on human-rights violations. 
2003 Over the Sea of Japan, there was a confrontation between four 
 armed North Korean fighter jets and a U.S. RC-135S Cobra Ball. 
 No shots were fired in the encounter in international airspace 
 about 150 miles off North Korea's coast. The U.S. Air Force 
 announced that it would resume reconnaissance flights on March 12. 
2004 NASA announced that the Mars rover Opportunity had discovered 
 evidence that water had existed on Mars in the past. 
2011 Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's iPad 2.
2016  smiled.

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