How to copy and print pictures from the newsletters 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant wife, cruelty to children Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 19, in 1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor and sank the Spanish fleet. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. Ben searches diligently throughout the thick underbrush and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here." Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: "What's the matter Ben?" Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said. "It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain!" ______________________________________________________ A physician presented his bill to the attorney representing a deceased person's estate. Each of them knew the other, having tangled quite a few times in court, where the doctor was often called as an "expert witness." The Doctor asked the lawyer if he wanted the bill sworn to. "No," replied the lawyer, "the death of my client is suf- ficient evidence that you attended him professionally." "Be that as it may," replied the doctor, "the fact that you handled his affairs is probably why he couldn't afford to pay this bill on time in the first place." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Paquette, 35, Appling, Georgia. Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant wife, cruelty to children A Columbia County man turned himself into the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office Sunday afternoon for allegedly abusing his wife. Ryan Paquette, 35, of Appling, allegedly abused his wife for more than a decade, with the latest incident happening on Saturday. Four of the couple’s children were home at the time and the alleged victim is also pregnant. According to an incident report, Ryan Paquette’s wife claims he beat her after he complained she purchased the wrong kind of bread on a sub sandwich she picked up at the grocery store. Paquette is charged with Battery and Cruelty to Children in the Third Degree. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron RE: Copy pictures from Humor Letter Dear Webby I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to print just the pic. without the rest of the letter. When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it but it don't work. Can you help? tx. Ron Dear Ron The COPY IMAGE command just copies the picture into the clipboard memory. Open a graphics program. ANY graphics program, even Windows PAINT will do. When you have it open, Hold CTRL and hit V. That pastes it into the Graphics program. Then you can print the picture with CTRL P. You can also crop the picture to use only a part of it, or edit it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "It's so bad in our church now on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ajax for Water Spots By ajbblondie1210 [1 Post] My brother parks his car on the street and every night the sprinklers go on. When he wakes up in the morning, he has water spots on the right side of his car. He tried washing his car but the spots would not come off. He also tried Windex, white vinegar, brake cleaner, anything you could think of! Then my mom said, "Hey, try this Ajax!" With a little bit of water, the spots came right off! So the trick is AJAX! Hope this helps. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both ladies could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was again red, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention at the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. At this point she turned to her friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could get killed us!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly! Am I driving?" ___________________________________________________
world class skier
____________________________________________________ >From Linda Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get her. __________________________________________________ Woman cleaning fish at sink to angler husband: "Why can't you be like the rest of the men? They never catch anything." "I can't afford that much beer." ____________________________________________________
Blue is my favorite color!

Today on April 19
1012 Aelfheah was murdered by Danes who had been ravaging 
 the south of England. Aelfhear became the 29th Archbishop 
 of Canterbury in 1005. 
1539 Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German 
 Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany. 
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor 
 and sank the Spanish fleet. 
1689 Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros. 
1713 Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, 
 which gave women the rights of succession to Hapsburg possessions. 
1764 The English Parliament banned the American colonies from 
 printing paper money. 
1770 Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia. 
 Cook originally named the land Point Hicks. 
1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out at 
 Lexington, MA. 
1782 The Netherlands recognized the new United States. 
1794 Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw. 
1802 The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American 
 merchants. 
1861 Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours in 
 a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC. 
1861 The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers and 
 nine civilians killed. 
1861 U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of 
 Confederate ports. 
1892 The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the U.S. 
 by Charles and Frank Duryea. 
1897 The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It was the 
 first of its type in the U.S. 
1927 In China, Hankow communists declared war on 
 Chaing Kai-shek. 
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a proclamation 
 that removed the U.S. from the gold standard. 
1938 General Francisco Franco declared victory in the Spanish 
 Civil War. 
1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The 
 Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days. 
1951 General Douglas MacArthur gave his "Old Soldiers" speech 
 before the U.S. Congress. In the address General MacArthur 
 said that "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away." 
1951 Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had 
 survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during WWII. 
1956 Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco 
 when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco. The civil 
 ceremony took place on April 18. 
1967 Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos 
 back to the U.S. 
1971 Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth. 
 It was the first space station. 
1975 India launched its first satellite with aid from the USSR. 
1981 In Davao, Philippines, thirteen people were killed when 
 members of the New People's Army threw hand grenades into 
 the Roman Catholic cathedral during Easter services. 
1982 The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business 
 traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with 
 subversion in Central America. 
1987 In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a 
 200-mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500 
 feet from the ground. 
1987 The last California condor known to be in the wild was 
 captured and placed in a breeding program at the San Diego 
 Wild Animal Park.
1989 A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors 
 were killed. 
1989 A giant asteroid passed within 500,000 miles of Earth. 
1993 The Branch-Davidian’s compound in Waco, TX, burned to 
 the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between 
 the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed 
 including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped 
 the fire. 
1994 A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King 
 for violation of his civil rights. 
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, 
 was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on U.S. 
 territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children, 
 and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of 
 the bombing on June 2, 1997. 
1998 Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square pro 
 democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government. 
2000 In the Philippines, Air Philippines GAP 541 crashed 
 while preparing to land. 131 people were killed. 
2002 The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were 
 killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on October 
 12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's 
 Al-Qaida network. 
2016  smiled.


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