Cleaning a dirty keyboard 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 24, in 1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts. Greeks have never forgiven their government. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner If marriage were outlawed, then only outlaws would have inlaws. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
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An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took a nicely glowing piece of iron out of the forge and with his long metal tongs held it it over the horn of the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.... ______________________________________________________ Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture The roses are actually behind the hedge, but growing up through the hedge. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29 Cedar Hill, Texas Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children’s minister at First United Church of Cedar Hill, after he was reportedly caught molesting a 6-year-old. Witnesses beat a Texas youth pastor whom they allegedly caught sexually assaulting a 6-year-old he had lured behind an apartment building. The report did not state how thoroughly the pastor was beat up, but he was not able to limp away when the police finally showed up. Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children's minister at First United Methodist Church in Cedar Hill, on Thursday, Fox 4 News reports. According to the news station, Bell's recent arrest was not the first time the youth pastor has been charged with sexual assault. He's currently facing two charges of sexually assaulting little boys at a Dallas apartment in February. The two boys reportedly told police that they were abused behind an apartment complex. The boys said that the man was wearing "church shoes." Despite those charges, Fox 4 reports that Bell continued working around children at the church until his most recent arrest. "It's painful. It's devastating. It's a nightmare," the mom of the most recent alleged victim, who did not want to be iden tified, told the news station. She said that she doesn't know Bell and nor does her family, adding that her son was outside playing when Bell lured him behind an apartment building. Bystanders noticed Bell and the child behind the building and attacked him. Police were called and arrested Bell. "If it wasn't for them, he probably would have done more to my child," the mom said. United Methodist Church of North Texas issued a statement to Fox 4 noting that it had "no knowledge of any criminal acts happening at the church, and that it is cooperating with police." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ellen RE: Cleaning a keyboard Dear Webby What is the best way to clean a keyboard? My husband's keyboard is starting to look utterly disgusting with everything from pizza to cake permanently attached to it. Thanks Ellen Dear Ellen Whack it upside down on a newspaper covered table or sidewalk to shake crumbs and paperclips and French Fries out. Then take a soft bath sponge and hot soapy water and while somebody holds the keyboard upside down, scrub it thoroughly with the sponge. After that, just let it drip dry in the sun. If you scrubbed hard enough, it will be like new. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A voice on the government building loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency." My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact Security." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Custard Layer Cake By April [9 Posts, 74 Comments] A unique cake with a custard center. Easier than it looks. It starts out as basic cake batter and turns into a custard layer cake. Be sure to try the chocolate version too! http://www.thriftyfun.com/Chocolate-Custard-Cake.html Approximate Time: 20 minutes to prep, 1 hour to bake Yield: 9-12 pieces Ingredients: 4 eggs (room temperature) 3/4 cup sugar 8 Tbsp butter, melted 1 tsp vanilla 3/4 cup all purpose flour 2 cups lukewarm milk powdered sugar for dusting top Steps: Line 8 x 8" baking dish with parchment paper. Separate eggs. Beat whites until stiff, set aside. Beat the yolks and sugar until light and fluffy. Add butter and vanilla. Beat 2 mins. Add the cocoa and flour, and mix thoroughly. Slowly add the milk and beat until everything is well blended. Gently fold in the egg whites using a spatula, a third at a time. Repeat until all the whipped egg whites are folded in. You will no longer have large white clumps. Pour batter into baking dish and bake approx. 60 min. until top is lightly golden. Cool to room temperature, and then chill. Dust top with powdered sugar. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son." "Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has nothing standing in his way." ___________________________________________________
Desert Air. Switch to HD. It is in High Definition
____________________________________________________ Father teaching his daughter to drive: "Stop on red, go on green, and slow down when I turn purple." __________________________________________________ Some people must have been put on this world just to amuse! I got this spam today with the subject line: Subject: Get a Diploma from a pretigous University Their hilarious spelling of prestigious makes me wonder in which California trailer court that University is located. The area code is 310, and they don't require any tests, classes books or interviews. Just your credit card info. Judging by the spelling, the teachers of that con artist probably got their diplomas the same way. ____________________________________________________
One of a kind motorcycle.

Today on April 24
1519 Envoys of Montezuma II attended the first Easter mass 
 in Central America.
1547 Charles V's troops defeated the Protestant League of 
 Schmalkalden at the battle of Muhlburg.
1558 Mary, Queen of Scotland, married the French dauphin, 
 Francis.
1805 The U.S. Marines attacked and captured the town of 
 Derna in Tripoli.
1833 A patent was granted for first soda fountain.
1877 Russia declared war on the Ottoman Empire.
1877 In the U.S., federal troops were ordered out of 
 New Orleans. This was the end to the North's post-Civil War 
 rule in the South.
1884 Otto von Bismarck cabled Cape Town that South Africa 
 was now a German colony.
1889 The Edison General Electric Company was organized.
1898 Spain declared war on the U.S., rejecting America's 
 ultimatum for Spain to withdraw from Cuba.
1915 During World War I, the Ottoman Turkish Empire began 
 the mass deportation of Armenians.
1916 Irish nationalists launched the Easter Rebellion against 
cBritish occupation forces. They were overtaken several 
 days later.
1944 The first B-29 arrived in China, over the Hump of the 
 Himalayas.
1961 U.S. President Kennedy accepted "sole responsibility" 
 following Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba.
1962 MIT sent a TV signal by satellite for the first time.
1967 Soviet astronaut Vladimir Komarov died when his craft 
 crashed with a tangled parachute.
1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts.
1970 The People's Republic of China launched its first satellite.
1973 Albert Sabin reported that herpesviruses were factors in 
 nine kinds of cancer.
1989 Thousands of students began striking in Beijing.
1990 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. It was carrying the $1.5 billion Hubble 
 Space Telescope.
2016  smiled.


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