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Today is Wednesday, April 27


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DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to 2 arrested after child found in hot car outside Nashville strip club Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 26, in 1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of Dunbar. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. --- Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931) Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. --- Blore's Razor Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. --- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam. Theoretically you should have gotten the hang of it by now. We have to study continuously to keep up to date with new models coming every month from 27 different makers!"
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>From Roland This morning my neighbor came over and we shot a few lines of bull, and settled the world problems. When I asked him why he never brought his wife with him, his response was: "The last time she got ready to go out with me on the same day, was when the Fire Alarm Went Off." ______________________________________________________ A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelsey McMurtry, 24, left, Summer Taylor, 19 Nashville, Tennessee 2 arrested after child found in hot car outside Nashville strip club A mother and her friend are facing charges after her child was found in a hot car outside a Nashville strip club. Police said they found the 9-month-old inside a PT Cruiser outside Deja Vu on Demonbreun Street at 4 p.m. Thursday. The responding officer talked to the mother's friend, Summer Taylor, who said she was helping to keep an eye on the child while her mother was on the stage stripping for an audition. Taylor said she had been coming outside to check on the child, but witnesses said Taylor never left the strip club. Two witnesses told police both women had been inside the strip club for at least 30 minutes before officers responded. According to the affidavit, all the windows in the car were rolled up. Police said the child was wearing a medium to heavy coat and was "drenched in sweat." At the time, temperatures outside were 70 degrees. In the affidavit, police estimated it may have been up to 101 degrees inside the vehicle. The girl was rushed to the hospital and is now in the care of the Tennessee Department of Children's Services. Police said the child's mother, Kelsey McMurtry, lied to them about her name. She reportedly had an outstanding warrant. Both McMurtry and Taylor have been charged with child neglect. McMurtry was also charged with criminal impersonation. Purnima Unni is the Pediatric Trauma Injury Prevention manager at Vanderbilt. She said most of the time parents don’t mean to hurt their children. It is usually an accident. “There is no time that is an acceptable time for a child to be left alone in a car. It’s as simple as that,” Unni said. With warmer temperatures on the way, medical professionals wanted to remind parents to be aware. Last year, 24 children were killed after being left in hot cars. Two have already died this year. “The child’s body temperature rises three to five times faster and higher than an adult,” Unni said. “So 104 degrees, you find the internal organs of the child begin to shut down. And when it’s 107 degrees, we can see near death.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil RE: Re Carols Automatic email Dear Webby She could make an icon using a selfie or her picture by going to this free converter site. http://www.rw-designer.com/image-to-icon Neil Thanks Neil! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's sitting on the remote?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Corn Dog Recipes By Cindy [111 Comments] This is the recipe my family has been using since the late 1950's. Corny Dogs 1 cup flour 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons sugar 3/4 cup cornmeal 1 egg, well beaten 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden brown. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter and said: "I've sure tasted fresher fish!" "Not in here," replied the waiter. ___________________________________________________
birth to 12 years with a LOT of words
____________________________________________________ Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. "Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104' is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache." His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look at him and saw a pained look on his face. "What's the matter?" Goodman asked. "That economy rowboat rental down there beside the marina, " Morris said,. "is that for the people they have sold to?" __________________________________________________ The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over. They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it and had already done that once. ____________________________________________________
Fawzia Fuad, Queen of Iran and Princess of Egypt, 1939 was extraordinarily beautiful!

Today on April 26
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of Dunbar.
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice.
1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by 
 natives in the Philippines.
1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was 
 established in Cebu City.
1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured the city of Derna, 
 on the shores of Tripoli.
1813 Americans under Gen. Pike capture York (present day 
 Toronto) the seat of government in Ontario.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas 
 corpus.
1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia 
 seceded from the Union during the American Civil War.
1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying 
 2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed.
1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the 
 electrical hearing aid.
1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown.
1937 German bombers devastated Guernica, Spain.
1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania. 
 She was the first American woman to become a queen.
1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria.
1946 The SS African Star was placed in service. 
 It was the first commercial ship to be equipped 
 with radar.
1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which 
 formally segregated races.
1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum 
 to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet.
1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan.
1975 Saigon was encircled by North Vietnamese troops.
1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan.
1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11 
 days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others.
1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in 
 Beijing.
1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President 
 Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. He was accused of 
 aiding in the deportation and execution of thousands of 
 Jews and others as a German Army officer during WWII, 
 even though he was too young for that.
2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed 
 its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840.
2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the 
 1,776-foot Freedom Tower on the site of former 
 World Trade Center. 
2016  smiled.


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