How to open an email attachment 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 9

Thank you, Nancy!


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Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida siblings charged with DUI Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 9, in 1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the Tower of London. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. --- Saint Francis of Assisi Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. --- Richard Nixon _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. The two-year-old kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, with her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, the child toddled up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
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"Your honor," a defense attorney began, "I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the scene of the crime when it occurred." The judge looked at the defense table and said, "This is the third time you've been in this court room this week, and I'm getting sick of hearing your lies." The defendant stood up with a confused expression and said, "Your honor, you must be mistaken. I've never been here in my life." Waving his finger, the judge replied, "I was referring to your lawyer." ______________________________________________________ The temperature had taken an overnight plunge, and Minnesota reaffirmed its reputation as one of the nation's coldest states. Despite a wind-chill of minus 40, the steelworkers erecting a TV tower in a Minneapolis-St. Paul suburb showed up for work. By 9 a.m., a tall Texan climbed down from the tower and entered the construction trailer. He took his lunch pail from the shelf and headed for the door. "What's up?" the foreman asked. "You sick?" "Nope," the Texan replied. "Goin' home to get my jacket." "Where's home?" the foreman persisted. "Dallas," he said. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture These bloomed today ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Josue Moncada, 31, Ercilia Moncada, 41, Ocala, Florida. Florida siblings charged with DUI A 41-woman and her 31-year-old brother were arrested by Florida Highway Patrol troopers and charged with DUI Friday morning. Officials said they received a bulletin to be on the lookout for a reckless driver traveling southbound on Interstate 75 and a trooper spotted the vehicle and was able to stop it on State Road 200 east of Southwest 43rd Street Road. While talking with the driver, later identified as Josue Moncada, the trooper detected alcohol and arrested him on a DUI charge at 2:55 a.m. Minutes later, Moncada's sister, Ercilia Moncada, arrived at the incident location and argued with the trooper about why he was arresting her brother. Another trooper was called to the location and while talking with her, found her to be impaired. After their investigation, she was also arrested on a DUI charge at 3:18 a.m. and placed in second trooper's cruiser. The first trooper left the scene to take Moncada's brother to the Marion County Jail, leaving the second trooper and the woman behind. The woman, who was handcuffed, managed to escape, but was later captured in the 2300 block of Southeast 19th Circle. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ray RE: How to open email attachments Dear Webby, I am receiving e-mails with attachments and can not open them. When I click on the attachment the "window" is not highlighted and nothing happens. What can I do? Thank you, Ray Dear Ray I realize that as far as email is concerned, because I use Eudora, I am leading a very sheltered life. Personally I have not seen that problem yet, but I have been using email for only about 23 years. Find out where your attachments are saved to. All the better email programs let you set that destination. If yours doesn't, copy the name of the attachment and do a search for it with "SearchEverything", or if you have a lot of time, with the Windows Search. Once you have found that location, you should see the extension, the part of the file name after the dot. If it is jpg, gif, or png, it is a picture and usually quite safe. If it is mid, mp3, mp4 or wav, it is sound or video and safe too. If it is pdf or pps, then it is a PDF file or a presentation. Those are usually safe too. If it is DOC or DOCX or XLS or XLSX, then it is from Microsoft Office and it COULD be safe, or it could be extremely dangerous. Check those with a good and reliable virus checker like McAfee. If the file is .zip, dump it fast. Once upon a time .zip was used to compress files or to deliver collections of files over slow internet connections. Nowadays only scammers use .zip files in emails. Dump those. Once you have made sure the attachment file is safe, hit it in the search or go after it with the file explorer. Windows will probably tell you the same as your email program did, that no program is assigned to work with that stuff, but it will let you assign a program and give you some choices. If you don't see any usable choices, then you will have to install a suitable program. Just google for "program to open .xxx" where xxx is the extension of that attachment file. Just pick a free one from a reputable source and install it. During the installation that program will offer to be your default program for opening xxx and a few other types of files. Once that has been assigned, try your email again, and it will open the attachment just like it is supposed to. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a huge Oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look. The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft- ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large letters was taped to the center of the gong. The word was "NO!" ---------------- That reminds me.... During my University days we had two types of students, "Commuter" and "Party-Town". I was a "Commuter", mainly because I had a 5PM to 1AM night job across the nearby border, and only lived 10 miles from the University. "Party-Towners" were the residents of the dorms, frat and sorry houses within walking distance of the University. Since Party-Town was half way between my job and home, and since my bike was a fast but rather chilly ride, I usually stopped at a sorry-house to warm up. (Sorry-House is a sorority house, female version of a frat-house, where you are always greeted with either: "Sorry it's such a mess." or with "Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache.") On one of those warm-up stops a lady I knew from one of my seminars, invited me up to her room to show me her "Multilingual Talking Clock". Yes, you guessed it, it was one of those huge brass gongs. When she grabbed the mallet, I grabbed a couple of pillows. One for each ear. In that tiny, stone-walled room the noise was still awesome. A minute later voices from all over the sorry-house drifted in, all yelling in various different languages something like: "Kock it off, you airhead! It's 1:45 in the morning!" What made it really funny was a few hours later, when we were woken up, ahem, I mean interrupted in our dilligent studying, by a similar gong echoing through the building. Maria twisted my wrist to see my watch, and then screamed: "Knock it off you airhead! It's 4:50 in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Substituting Tomato Paste for Tomato Sauce By Dorothy [2 Posts, 9 Comments] I often make changes like that, primarily because you get a better-quality product when you do. Try using 1/2 water (or stock if you have any) and 1/2 tomato paste. Add a little Italian seasoning, i.e. basil, oregano, garlic, parsley and a bit of sugar. Start with 1/4 tsp. of each, taste your concoction and go from there. Most recipes are not so finicky that they would suffer from such a change, and the bonus is that there are no unpronounceable ingredients in your sauce. Good luck! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The price of gas has gotten so high in California, that women who want to run over their husbands have started carpooling! ___________________________________________________
Mothers Day Video
____________________________________________________ A generously endowed young lady often got teased by her sisters for being so top-heavy. At a party a young man asked her what she would like to drink. "Diet soda, please," she replied. "Oh, you must be the double D." he said. The girl was furious, wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal information. "And just what do you mean by that?" she snapped. Surprised at her angry response, the young man meekly answered, "Oh, you know -- the Designated Driver." __________________________________________________ *"If it" office advice* If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles, ignore it. If it is a friend, take a break. If it is the boss, look busy. If it talks, take notes. If it is handwritten, type it. If it is typed, copy it. If it is copied, file it. If it is Friday, forget it! ____________________________________________________
You'll be surprised at what this cute little Australian tree frog eats.

Today on May 9
1429: Joan of Arc defeated the besieging English at Orleans.

1502: Christopher Columbus left Spain for his final trip to 
the Western Hemisphere. 
1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the
 Tower of London. 
1754: The first newspaper cartoon in America showed a 
 divided snake "Join or die" in "The Pennsylvania Gazette." 
1785: Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle. 
1825: The Chatham Theatre opened in New York City. It was
the first gas-lit theater in America. 
1901: In Australia, the Duke of Cornwall and York declared
the First Commonwealth Parliament open. 
1904: The Great Western Railway Number 3440 City of Truro
became the first railway locomotive to exceed 100 miles per
hour. 
1915: German and French forces fought the Battle of Artois. 
1926: Americans Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett became the
first men to fly an airplane over the North Pole. 
1930: A starting gate was used to start a Triple Crown race
for the first time. 
1936: Fascist Italy took Addis Abba and annexed Ethiopia. 
1936: The first sheet of postage stamps of more than one
variety went on sale in New York City. 
1941: The German submarine U-110 was captured at sea by
Britain's Royal navy. 
1945: U.S. officials announced that the midnight
entertainment curfew was being lifted immediately. 
1946: King Victor Emmanuel II of Italy abdicated and was
replaced by Umberto. 
1955: West Germany joined NATO. 
1958: Richard Burton made his network television debut in
the presentation of "Wuthering Heights" on CBS-TV. 
1960: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved
for sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time. 
1962: A laser beam was successfully bounced off Moon for the
first time. 
1974: The House Judiciary Committee began formal hearings on
the Nixon impeachment. 
1978: The bullet-riddled body of former Italian Prime
Minister Aldo Moro was found in an automobile in the center
of Rome. The Red Brigades had abducted him. 
1980: A Liberian freighter hit the Sunshine Skyway Bridge
over Tampa Bay in Florida. 35 motorists were killed and a
1,400-foot section of the bridge collapsed. 
1987: Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers were married. 
1994: Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa's first
black president. 
1996: In video testimony to a courtroom in Little Rock, AR,
U.S. President Clinton insisted that he had nothing to do
with a $300,000 loan in the criminal case against his former
Whitewater partners. 
2002: In Bethlehem, West Bank, a deal was reached that would
end the 38-day standoff at the Church of the Nativity.
Thirteen suspected militants were to be deported to several
different countries. The standoff had begun on April 2,
2002. 
2002: In Kaspiisk, Russia, 39 people were killed and at
least 130 were injured when a remote-controlled bomb
exploded during a holiday parade. 
2002: In Bahrain, people were allowed to vote for
representatives for the first time in nearly 30 years. Women
were allowed to vote for the first time in the country's
history.
2016  smiled.


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