Does OCR really work? 

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Today is Monday, May 23

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a WV man in Florida arrested after he shot the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 23, in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. -- Michael Pritchard _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Detroit, Michigan. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Detroit Metro Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Detroit public is advised to stay calm as absolutely NO ONE fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, is anywhere near the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. The police have just surrounded a department store in the center of Detroit. They've heard Bed Linen is on the second floor! With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!" The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten." At that the entire senior class and their teachers stood up and shouted, "Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!" ______________________________________________________ Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription because it's been declared a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!" ______________________________________________________ Fitz Roy, Patagonia ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by WV man in Florida arrested for shooting the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Charles Richardson, 35, St. Pete Beach, Florida. Deputies say a St. Pete Beach hotel guest used a handgun to shoot the lock on his room door because he had locked himself out. Deputies: Man shoots hotel door because he got locked out Incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel on St. Pete Beach The incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel, located at 6200 Gulf Boulevard in St. Pete Beach, at approximately 7:58 a.m. on Thursday. According to deputies, when they arrived at the hotel they located the suspect, 35-year-old Charles Richardson, of Dunbar, West Virginia, sitting in the lobby unarmed. Deputies determined that Richardson, who was a guest at the hotel, used a handgun to shoot the lock on his hotel room door because he had locked himself out of his room. Deputies said Richardson then proceeded to shoot a glass window at the hotel for no apparent reason. No one was injured at the hotel as a result of the shooting. Deputies recovered the handgun near Richardson's hotel room. Richardson was arrested and transported to the Pinellas County Jail without incident. He was charged with two felony counts of shooting a deadly missile into/at/within an occupied building. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: William RE: Does OCR really work? Dear Webby I have about 150 pages of typewritten material I would like to put in a word processor and on a disk. Does this OCR software I see advertised really work? Thanks for the great jokes, and all of your tech pit help. William Dear William OCR programs have probably improved more than any other programs. Try a few of the free ones and see if they work well with the fonts used on that project. Some OCR programs take typewritten fonts quite nicely, others only work well with modern computer generated fonts. There are also a bunch of professional OCR programs that do cost some money, but are of higher quality and usually have spell checks built in. With the spell-checks you have to be careful and not let them automatically correct. They tend to work like the auto-correct on many programs, that substitute similar sounding but totally wrong words. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Jill's economic philosophy is middle of the road. She spends money left and right and center. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did." ___________________________________________________
Bird of paradise
____________________________________________________ Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk." ____________________________________________________ Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'" ____________________________________________________
Stormtrooper Boogie .

Today on May 23
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. 
 She was then sold to the English.
1533 Henry VIIIís marriage to Catherine of Aragon was 
 declared null and void.
1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of 
 the Reformation were thrown through a window.
1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after 
 being convicted of murder and piracy.
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had 
 invented bifocals.
1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was 
 established. The organization's name was changed to 
 Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920.
1915 During World War I, Italy changed sides to join
 the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary.
1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde 
 Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. 
 The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head 
 of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while 
 imprisoned by the Allied forces.
1949 The Republic of West Germany was established.
1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann 
 in Argentina.
1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the 
 Central Bank and took 200 hostages.
1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison 
 for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City 
 was demolished.
1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern 
 Ireland approved a peace accord.
1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when 
he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring. 
1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale 
 El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record 
 that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 
2016  smiled.

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