Crap Cleaner 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 3

June 2nd I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol, threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 31, in 1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. --- Anais Nin (1903 - 1977) An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Rita When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger. With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A farmer & his hired man were eating breakfast at the local diner. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, the farmer told the hired man he might as well go ahead & eat his dinner too. The hired man didn't say a word, but filled his plate a second time & proceeded to eat. After awhile the farmer said, "We've got so much work to do today, you might as well eat your supper now too." Again, the hired man didn't respond but refilled his plate a third time & continued to eat. Finally, after eating his third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair & began to take off his shoes. "What are you doing?" the farmer asked. The hired man replied, "I don't work after supper." ______________________________________________________ "Louisa, could you help me with my math homework?" asked her younger brother. Certainly not," replied Louisa indignantly. "It wouldn't be right." "Probably not," said her brother, "but you could at least try and show me how you faked it !" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Natalike for this picture: Natalie's Epiphylum ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol, threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies Harley Pasley, 23, Taylorsville, Indiana Deputies arrested a man who allegedly waved a sword at them after drinking rubbing alcohol. On Monday just after 7:30 p.m., Bartholomew County sheriff’s deputies responded to a 911 call about domestic battery. The caller told police her brother, 23-year-old Harley Pasley of Taylorsville, was intoxicated and causing a disturbance. She said Pasley had cut her hand with glass and was threatening to hurt his nephews, ages 2 and 8. A deputy was told on the scene that Pasley had been drinking rubbing alcohol and had gone to a storage building outside. The deputy went out and said Pasley leaned out holding a cutlass sword. He allegedly began swinging it and yelling at deputies. Pasley came outside the the deputies had him at gunpoint. He refused to drop the sword at first, but eventually complied. Police say when Pasley dropped to his knees again, he reached for the sword. A deputy used his Taser at that time but it was not effective. They eventually got the sword away from Pasley and took him into custody. He was transported to Columbus Regional Hospital to be evaluated for consuming rubbing alcohol. He was then taken to the Batholomew County Jail on charges of battery and interfering with a 911 call. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ross RE: CrapCleaner Dear Webby Is CrapCleaner still around? Ross Dear Ross Yes, sure! It is still at And of course also still on my toolbox page at Just scroll down. Over the years, CrapCleaner has gotten even better, and is still the first tool to use when your machine slows down. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace, endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood. In old time ony litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to make shua wood was not poisoned." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Question: Rotary Tool (Dremel) Crafts By Kathleen Champlain [1 Post] Are there any Dremel tool projects on line? Can someone help by recommending a site? By Kathleen from Broomfield, CO By Lisa [2 Posts, 656 Comments] Flag December 21, 2010 Have you checked the Dremel website? I looked there a few months ago, and I feel like I saw quite a few projects. Also, there might be videos on youtube if you do a search. I've been using ours with the flex shaft attachment to polish some of the jewelry I make. Probably not as good as the dedicated flex shafts available to jewelry makers, but since we already had the equipment, it works for me! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Dear Webby,The joke about the kid wanting money reminded me of my little brother who was always "borrowing" money and never remembered to pay it back. Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have any if he asked to borrow money , then one night he asked me if I had change for a twenty dollar bill, so, like a fool I said yes . He said "Can I borrow it." I just had to thump him, for his own good. ___________________________________________________
she sat and smiled at strangers - moving
____________________________________________________ A doctor in Oklahoma recently made a seriously incorrect diagnosis. He treated a patient for a cold before learning the guy could afford a virus and a flu. ____________________________________________________ While on their honeymoon Judy told her new husband: "Dear, don't expect the first few meals to be great. It takes time to find the right restaurant.” ____________________________________________________
May- Best of the Month.....PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!

Today on May 31
1433 Sigismund was crowned emperor of Rome.
1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation.
1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt.
1884 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal."
1889 In Johnstown, PA, more than 2,200 people died after 
 the South Fork Dam collapsed.
1900 U.S. troops arrived in Peking to help put down the 
 Boxer Rebellion.
1902 The Boer War ended between the Boers of South Africa 
 and Great Britain with the Treaty of Vereeniging.
1907 The first taxis arrived in New York City. They were 
 the first taxis in the United States.
1910 The Union of South Africa was founded.
1913 The 17th Amendment went into effect. It provided for 
 popular election of U.S. senators.
1915 A German zeppelin made an air raid on London.
1927 Ford Motor Company produced the last "Tin Lizzie" 
 in order to begin production of the Model A.
1947 Communists seized control of Hungary.
1961 South Africa became an independent republic.
1962 Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a 
 Gestapo official.
1970 An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people.
1974 Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights.
1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 
 years of construction.
1979 Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence.
1994 The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range 
 nuclear missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union.
1995 Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing 
 of evil" in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he 
 had not seen or heard much of what he had been criticizing.
2003 In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured. 
 He had been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years 
 for several bombings including the 1996 Olympic bombing.
2016  smiled.

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