Playing flash on XP 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, June 1

Tomorrow I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to 3 stooges, who robbed a bank while on vacation, made their getaway in a taxi Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 1, in 1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric voting machine. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? --- George Wallace By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus (1913-1960) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they moved out, one man said, "Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful - so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing." The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man say, "I felt like a new man when I woke up!" With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
I was the last to leave the office one Friday evening and managed to lock myself out without my jacket and wallet. Kneeling in a deserted hallway to try picking an electronic lock with a paper clip, I heard the seam of my suit trousers rip apart. About then I realized I needed a screwdriver to remove the lock plate, and said so, aloud. Seconds later the elevator doors next to my office opened, revealing a screwdriver in the middle of the floor. There was a crackle from the wall speaker next to the elevator. "This is security," said a sexy female voice. "There's your screwdriver. Sorry, but I don't have a needle or thread for your pants!" ----------------- Bet you that screwdriver did not help him with neither the lock nor the pants. The screws on the outside are dummies that are only intended to keep a wannabe intruder busy long enough, so that building security can call the cops or find a big stick. ______________________________________________________ The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING! ______________________________________________________ Reginali ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 3 stooges rob a bank while on vacation, make their getaway in a taxi A daring bank robbery ended in the arrests of three Illinois vacationers. It happened Saturday morning at Fifth Third Bank in Fort Myers off Summerlin Road. Lee County Sheriff's deputies said the three suspects stole money from the bank then took off in a vehicle that stood out like a sore thumb - a taxi cab. Those suspects were identified as Bret Strusiner, 43; Paul Paynter, 52; and Karen Bajoras, 43. All three were caught not long after the crime and charged with second-degree felony robbery. At their first court appearance on Sunday, Bajoras was given $250,000 bond, while Strusiner and Paynter were given $500,000 bond. If any of them bond out, they'll have to wear a GPS ankle bracelet and have no contact with the co- defendants. Eyewitnesses who were dining next door at Ruby Tuesday when the robbery happened said the taxi was actually parked at the restaurant during the crime. Deputies said the suspects forced their way into the bank and stole an undisclosed amount of money from the bank before racing back to the taxi for a getaway. The theft set off a dye pack attached to the cash, some of which was left scattered on the road. "It's pretty obvious that it's stolen money, so they'd have a very difficult time spending it," said Cameron McLean, a former Fort Myers Police officer. The brazen attempt to make a quick escape is shocking many people in the community. "It's not the usual profile for someone who's looking to rob a bank in the middle of the day, which is a very risky thing to do," said McClean. McLean's wife, Kelly, agrees. "People always think that they're not gonna get caught and obviously these people did very quickly." All of the suspects in this case will make a second court appearance on June 27th. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Penne RE: Copying CDs Dear Webby Hello Webby, Have been receiving your newsletter for such a long time and found so many interesting tips -- for which I wish to THANK you so much. Today I have two questions and are sure you will be able to help me. 1. When I want to play certain videos my clever computer tells me I do not have the correct or up to date Flash Player, but it is updating all the time. What do you suggest I do? 2. Wanting to Rip a factory made CD, the cuts do not appear on the burned CD as on the bought one, the songs are not in the same order. Do I need some new program? Using a windows XP computer. Hope to hear from you soon. Pennie Dear Penne 1) Your Adobe Flash player might be up to date, but some videos and music CDs and DVDs require a license or code. Check with that web site. 2) My CD player died five years ago, so I am not really up to date with that, and actually have never tried ripping a bought CD. On my XP I had a program by NERO, that was theoretically able to make identical copies of CDs. I found this info on the net: How to duplicate CDs on an XP You need a program made for that. Perhaps you have it already. Common are versions Nero and Roxio. These will have a CD duplication utility. Nero has a free version. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A customer at Morris' Gourmet Delicatessen marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Morris. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Making Candles from Old Wax By helen [70 Posts, 81 Comments] I am making candles from left over candle wax. Does anyone know an alternative way to get rich colour in them apart from buying candle dyes? Many thanks. Helen By h.arnott from U.K Koolaid usually works as a good dye too Liz Just pop a wax crayon into the candlewax when melting - you will be surprised at the rich colour that results! I put some essential oil into the wax too, so that I get a lovely smell when they burn. By merry woods [1 Post, 48 Comments] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day, Paul Smith decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if he could do better elsewhere. He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was obviously upset. He turned to the caddy and said, "You know I must be the worst golfer in the world." The caddy replied, "nah, I don't think so. I have heard there is a guy named Paul Smith from across town who apparently has already been named the world's worst player!" ___________________________________________________
she sat and smiled at strangers - moving
____________________________________________________ A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said to the judge: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up." ____________________________________________________ The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" ____________________________________________________
Native American trail markers.

Today on June 1
1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIIIís new queen, was crowned.
1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed.
1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric 
 voting machine.
1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico
1915 Germany conducted the first zeppelin air raid over England.
1916 The National Defense Act increased the strength of the 
 U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men.
1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people were 
1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had 
 produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 
 2-year association with Disney.
1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time.
1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from 
 Chicago to New York.
1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete 
 as the Allied evacuation ended.
1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico.
1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France.
1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction 
 that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama.
1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known 
 as Rhodesia.
1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire 
 & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers.
2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft 
 to scoop Martian soil.
2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. 
2016  smiled.

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