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Good Morning, ,


Today is Friday, June 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's International Bonehead Award: NC Mother prostitutes her 2 mentally handicapped teenage daughters for $5 to $20 Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 10, in 1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the U.S. The dispute was over merchant vessels being able to travel safely through the Mediterranean. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. --- Hannah Arendt (1906 - 1975) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. --- Herbert Rappaport _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ SIXTEEN STEPS TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Light Match 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled 'kerosene'. 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Re-label can to read 'gasoline'. 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps. --------------------- Modern alternative: 1. Point to the sign that forbids camp fires. 2. Click the propane BBQ ON.
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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!) 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs? 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? 3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' " Tourist: "Oh". 4. Are the bears with collars tame? 5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? 6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent? 7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos? 8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was? 9. Are there birds in Canada? 10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? 11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? 12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? 13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan? 14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario? 15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields? 16. How far is Banff from Canada? 17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? 18. Do they search you at the B.C. border? 19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds? 20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they? 21. Are there phones in Banff? 22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles? 23. We're not on the decibel system ya know. 24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?? 25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car? 26. Don't you Canadians know anything? 27. Where do you put the animals at night? 28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: " Oh 29. And the most common question, also referred to as the mating call of the blue haired Winnebagan: "An haw much ees dat in reel mohney?" 30. The mating call of the males is:"We're the Fog Owie?" ______________________________________________________ A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that now the customer is always wrong." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NC Mother prostitutes her 2 mentally handicapped teenage daughters for $5 to $20 Teresa Vanover 52, Eden, North Carolina A mother who pleaded guilty to prostituting her two mentally disabled teenage daughters for $20 or less has been sentenced to a minimum of 20 years in prison. Teresa Vanover admitted she allowed local men to perform sexual acts on her daughters in their Eden, North Carolina neighborhood for $5, $10 or $20 bills. The money was used to pay for her husband's medical bills, as well as her crack cocaine habit. Vanover, 52, was charged 24 counts of child abuse by prostitution and 24 counts of promoting prostitution with a minor with a disability. She received the minimum 20 year sentence on three of her charges and a six-and-a-half year concurrent sentence for her other 45 charges. Vanover confessed that she would take her 15-year-old daughter to a neighborhood barber shop, a nearby boat ramp and even one of the men's mother's house. She would then allow the men to perform sexual acts on her daughter, or would make her daughter watch while she had sex with them, according to Greensboro News & Record. When the 15-year-old began to refuse, Vanover used her 13-year-old daughter instead. The 15-year-old told police months after her father died, when she realized there couldn't be any more medical bills her mother needed to pay. 'We don't have to do it anymore because daddy is dead,' the girl told police, according to transcripts read in court. Vanover was arrested in September 2015 and immediately confessed to the crimes. She also led police to four men who would be charged in the prostitution ring: Thomas 'Tommy' Woodall, Everett Ferris Jr, Donnie Carter, and Mickey Snow. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gordon RE: Problem printing from IE Dear Webby, It looks like I need your help again. You always seem to have the answer for the unique things!! I really appreciate any suggestion you may have to fix this problem for me. Thanks Gordon Iím running Windows 7 on my computer. For the last few weeks, when trying to print from pages in Internet Explorer, all I get is a blank page with the following error message (or something similar to it) across the bottom of the page. File:///Users/GORDON~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Low/KIHDDsY2 .htm The rest of the page is blank. If I reboot my computer, it then prints okay for a short while but then, before long, itís back to the same thing. The problem started suddenly but I canít seem to get it to go away!! Gordon Dear Gordon Try using a modern browser like Chrome. I ditched IE 4 or 5 years ago. It is not needed. That problem will go away when you uninstall IE. Install Chrome or FireFox first and transfer your bookmarks. Using CrapCleaner might help a bit, just like rebooting does. However, that is not a fix or repair either. Trying to browse to that link will probably not reveal anything useful. Just import all your bookmarks to a better browser, then uninstall IE. Some Microsoft shills tried to scare me that I would need IE for updates. Not true at all. Windows updates just fine with Chrome. Even Microsoft dumped IE. On W10 they use a totally new browser, that doesn't have the problems of IE. For W7 I highly recommend Chrome. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. The attorney asked:"Was the deceased in the habit of talking to herself when she was alone?" "I don't know," said Kelly. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "This might be a bit too logical for somebody like you, but in truth, whenever Georgina was alone, she was alone because I was not with her." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How do you fix a scratched glass top stove? I scratched it by shaking the pop corn pan (duh)! Barbara from St Cloud, FL I joined this site just to give you this gem! I did the same on our week old stove that my hubby was craving. Try baking soda on a damp cloth. Once you buff all of the soda off it is as close to new as you are gonna get! I was impressed! Good luck! By katie Rinda [1 Comment] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask. Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in My life time." ___________________________________________________
A better link: A beautiful trip
____________________________________________________ Some People Live Each Day As If It's The First Day Of The Rest Of April. A Bonehead Award went to a bunch of April Fools in St. Georges, Utah in 2003 Cedar City, Utah, mayor Gerald R. Sherratt, to advertise the upcoming April 1st Himmeslk festival in the city, made up a story for a newspaper advertisement, all in the April 1st spirit, explaining that the city recently discovered ancient Viking artifacts in a nearby cave. And that the artifacts ended up in the city owing to the area having once been part of a South Pacific island that became unhinged by earthquakes and tsunamis and eventually floated all the way over to Cedar City, Utah. And the story finally ends by saying that had the U.S. government not only erased all evidence of the area's history, the U.S. government would owe descendents of King Blodosk, the then Viking king, $88.7 billion. Obviously far-fetched, you say? So, what do you think happened next? Cedar City began getting calls and letters from some people in St.Georges, Utah, claiming to be descendents of King Blodosk, and laying claim to the imaginary treasures in the imaginary cave in the imaginary land. Mayor Sherratt's exasperated explanation that he made the whole thing up to promote the festival has only been met with counter claims that the he and other officials are doing a cover-up. No doubt the lawsuits will be real, but unbelievable. Does anybody have an update on that? ____________________________________________________ "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews: (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) inoperative (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (P) IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) still inoperative (S) No Foes around here during hunting season. (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search (P) Target Radar hums (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics ____________________________________________________
Riveting images of the most natural wonders on the planet.

Today on June 10
1776 The Continental Congress appointed a committee to
write a Declaration of Independence.
1793 The Jardin des Plantes zoo opened in Paris. It was
the  first public zoo.
1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on
the U.S.  The dispute was over merchant vessels being
able to travel  safely through the Mediterranean.
1898 U.S. Marines landed in Cuba during Spanish-American
War.
1902 The "outlook" or "see-through" envelope was
patented  by Americus F. Callahan.
1909 The SOS distress signal was used for the first
time.  The Cunard liner SS Slavonia used the signal when
it wrecked off the Azores.
1916 Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the
Arabs during the Great Arab Revolt.
1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman
 suffrage.
1925 The state of Tennessee adopted a new biology text
book that denied the theory of evolution.
1935 Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G.
Wilson  and Dr. Robert Smith.
1940 Italy declared war on France and Britain. In
addition, Canada declared war on Italy.
1943 Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a 
 Hungarian journalist.
1943 The Allies began bombing Germany around the clock.
1946 Italy established a republic replacing its
monarchy.
1948 Chuck Yeager, first American to exceeded the speed
of sound in the Bell XS-1.
1954 General Motors announced the gas turbine bus had 
 been produced successfully.
1967 Israel and Syria agreed to a cease-fire that ended 
 the Six-Day War.
1971 The U.S. ended a 21-year trade embargo of China.
1984 The U.S. Army successfully tested an antiballistic
missile.
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in 117 years.
1985 The Israeli army pulled out of Lebanon after 1,099
days.
1993 It was announced by scientists that genetic
material was extracted from an insect that lived when
dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
1994 U.S. President Clinton intensified sanctions
against Haiti's military leaders. U.S. commercial air
travel was suspended along with most financial
transactions between Haiti and the U.S.
1996 Britain and Ireland opened Northern Ireland peace
talks. The IRA's political arm Sinn Fein was excluded.
1998 The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that poor
children in Milwaukee could attend religious schools at
taxpayer expense.
2016  smiled.


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