Good Morning, ,


Today is Saturday, June 11

Re Gordon's IE printing problem:
Thanks for your help Webby. I tied Chrome but didn’t
care for the layout of it (too used to IE I guess!).
Then tried Firefox and quite like it.
Both Chrome and Firefox fixed the printing problem I was
having.
Thanks again for your help.
Gordon


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Today's International Bonehead Award:
Google reports St. Louis man's email account for 
storing child pornography
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, June 10, in
1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef
off of Australia when he ran aground. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are
many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always
write a book.
--- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

People in cars cause accidents and 
accidents in cars cause people.
--- Garrison Keillor
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
Resume Blunders 
How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?  Here are
some real-life examples:

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer
science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising
and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not
appropriate for business."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Personal interests: Donating blood.  15 gallons so far."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
nothing and absolutely no one."

"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind
me."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."

"Don't take the comments of my former employer too
seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave
drivers."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist.  But since I possess no
training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock
brokerage."

"I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free
to respond to my resume on my office voicemail."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on
my head!"

Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration.  Hope to
hear from you shorty!"




With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

The other day I observed a rather funny scene at the
golf course across the river.

A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new
looking set of golf clubs into the river.

A few minutes later he came back, waded into the
river, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take
his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs
back into the water.

______________________________________________________

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded
with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant --
an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he
might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the
truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms
have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth
it to you."

"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him,
"I'll take it."

The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?"
asked the manager.

"Never better." 

The manager was impressed.
"No problem with the other guy snoring?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came
in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave
him a kiss on the cheek, and said,
'Goodnight, beautiful,'
and he sat up all night watching me."

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Phyllis for sending this picture:



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by


Google reports St. Louis man's email account for 
storing child pornography

Julien C. Pender,
25,
St Louis,
Missouri

A St. Louis man was caught with thousands of child
pornography images and multimedia files when Google
alerted the National Center for Missing and Exploited
Children, police say.

Julien C. Pender, 25, of the 4300 block of Neosho
Street, had more than 2,700 files showing children
performing sex acts, according to charges filed Tuesday
in St. Louis Circuit Court.

Pender was caught when Google reported Pender's Gmail
account and IP address, police say. Authorities
connected the IP address to Pender's address and raided
his home with a search warrant on June 12, 2014. In the
raid, police said they seized 2,690 graphic files and 46
sexually explicit multimedia files including video of
children.

Pender was not in custody Wednesday. Reached by phone,
he denied intentionally downloading child pornography
but said he used to routinely download games, movies and
TV shows.

"Sometimes files get in there," Pender said. "Sometimes
you get viruses. That's a risk you have. And
unfortunately I downloaded things I wasn't trying to
download."

He also said he was "locked out" of the Gmail address
Google reported to police as the one being used to store
child pornography. Pender said he was unaware of the
charges being filed Tuesday.

"I thought all that was dropped," he said. "I thought
all that was over with."

Google's terms of service says the company uses
automated systems to analyze content on its servers
including emails to identify child pornography that
passes through its systems. Google also says it reports
illegal content such as child sex abuse imagery to law
enforcement.

Pender was charged Tuesday with two counts of felony
child porn possession. Bail was set at $50,000 cash,
each.

______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Richi
RE: Is mcAfee enough?

Dear Webby,
im always leary of spyware and i just got Mcafee total
Protection, do you think that is enough ? or do i need
more spyware pograms? tyvm. for your help.. love the
letter
Richi

Dear Richi
Combined with common sense, McAfee is normally enough.
If you do get hit with something extraordinary, you can
still add Malwarebytes. 

If you suspect nuisance spyware, get Spybot-
Search&Destroy.
http://www.safer-networking.org/spybot2-own-mirror-1/
It is free.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE
OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

Scribbled underneath:
He's even worse!

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
    please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
How do you fix a scratched glass top stove? 
I scratched it by shaking the pop corn pan (duh)!
Barbara from St Cloud, FL

I joined this site just to give you this gem! I did the
same on our week old stove that my hubby was craving.
Try baking soda on a damp cloth. Once you buff all of
the soda off it is as close to new as you are gonna get!
I was impressed! Good luck!
By katie Rinda [1 Comment]

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A lady was driving from her husband's office to the
kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when
she blew past a red light, and a police car.
Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled
her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic
safety, and finished by saying,
"Lady, don't you know when to stop?"

Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said,
"Hey! Only six of those kids are mine!"

___________________________________________________

Johanna channels Aretha Franklin
____________________________________________________

On an Athi River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS
UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS
IMPASSABLE.

DUH !
Aside from not seeing a submerged sign, what would 
be your second clue ?

____________________________________________________

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of
his front door onto the porch.

Someone dialed 911.

When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain
consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him
to faint.

"It was enough to make anybody faint," he said.
"My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and
instead of driving the car out, he came out with the
LAWN MOWER!!!!"
____________________________________________________




Creepy archaeology.




Today on June 11
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman
Emperor in Germany. 

1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives,
Catherine of Aragon. 

1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef
off of Australia when he ran aground. 

1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 

1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent
granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven
automobile. 

1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take
off from the roof of a hotel. 

1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 

1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first
Distinguished Flying Cross. 

1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426
feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber
called a bathysphere. 

1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in
failure. 

1936 The Presbyterian Church of America was formed in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army
generals. 

1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at
Malta in the Mediterranean. 

1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease
agreement to provide arms and ammo to the Soviets and jobs
to the US arms industry. All those freighter convoys,
that hauled arms and ammo to Russia were funded by the
lend-lease program. When the Soviet Union collapsed, the
debt was forgiven.

1943 During World War II, the Italian island of
Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 

1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar
rationing. 

1950 Ben Hogan returned to tournament play after a near
fatal car accident. He won the U.S. Open. 

1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida
for trying to integrate restaurants. 

1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black
students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 

1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 

1972 Hank Aaron tied the National League record for 14
grand-slam home runs in a career. 

1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State
of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 

1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came
to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school
being held by South Moluccan extremist. Two hostages and
the six terrorists were killed. 

1981 The first major league baseball player's strike
began. It would last for two months. 

1982 Steven Spielberg's movie "E.T." opened. 

1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime
minister in 160 years to win a third consecutive term of
office. 

1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would
prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 

1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The
eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60
miles. 

1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit
"hate crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The
court also ruled in favor of religious groups saying that
they indeed had a constitutional right to sacrifice
animals during worship services. 

1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 

1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to
end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S.
government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of
women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and
crude jokes from male workers. 

1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and
offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 

2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the
first time it was held in Africa. 

2016 World Cup opened in France.
2016  smiled.






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