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Today is Tuesday, June 21

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DearWebby

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Today's International Bonehead Award: Pennsylvania parents give away 14 year old daughter in exchange for financial help. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 21, in 1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. --- Walter Lippmann A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. --- Milton Berle _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janet for this one: Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Last night a lady on the table next to mine in the restaurant asked the waiter if they had frozen yoghurt for desert. He replied: "We sure do, in all the popular flavors." Then she asked: "Is it low fat yoghurt?" The waiter answered: "It sure is! We serve only zero fat, low calory, diet yoghurt with fresh frozen fruit mixed in." She said: "Hmmm, that sounds delicious!" The waiter then asked her: "Would you like whipped cream on top of that?" Her reply was: "That sounds even better! Yes, please! Lots of it!" ______________________________________________________ While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favourite flower?" David leaned over, touched his wife's arm and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose flour, isn't it?" ______________________________________________________ A good wife creates a balance. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pennsylvania parents give away 14 year old daughter in exchange for financial help. Daniel Stoltzfus, Savilla Stoltzfus, Lee Kaplan A Pennsylvania couple is accused of child endangerment after police said they gave away their 14-year-old daughter to a man who helped them financially. The friend has been charged with sexually assaulting the teen, who had two children with him. Officials acting on a tip Thursday found 51-year-old Lee Kaplan at his Feasterville home, along with 12 girls ranging in age from six months to 18 years. According to an affidavit, the girl's father, Daniel Stoltzfus, told an officer he gave his daughter to Kaplan after he helped the family out of financial ruin. He told police he thought it was legal after he did some research online. Kaplan faces a number of charges including statutory sexual assault and aggravated indecent assault. Daniel Stoltzfus is charged with conspiracy of statutory sexual assault and children endangerment. His wife, Savilla Stoltzfus, is charged with endangering the welfare of a child. All three are being held on $1 million bail. No lawyer information was listed in court documents. The girl, now 18, told police she and Kaplan have a 3-year- old and a six-month-old. "This child gave birth to two other children through an inappropriate relationship," Lower Southampton Police Lt. John Krimmel said. Krimmel said the Stoltzfuses told police they were Amish, and a criminal complaint shows their address as Quarryville, in Lancaster County. However, Krimmel said it appeared the couple had been living with Kaplan, although it was unclear for how long. The Stoltzfuses told police they were going to lose their farm until Kaplan "came out of the blue and saved them from financial ruin," said Bucks County District Attorney David Heckler. The couple told police the other nine girls in the house were their children, Krimmel said. No birth certificates or Social Security cards could be located to confirm they were the parents, he said. The children have been placed in child protective custody, Krimmel said. Investigators are still piecing together what exactly happened, Heckler said, including how Kaplan and the couple met each other. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wilson RE: Searchable Log Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I need a searchable log that does not cost an arm and a leg. It's just for typing in names and phone numbers and summaries of incoming phone calls. What would you recommend? W.Wilson Dear Wilson I use NoteTab from http://notetab.com It produces clean text, that you can import or paste into anythiung. It has lightning fast search, and you can even open multiple sub-windows side by side in the same window, not just multiple tabs. Copy-paste to and from spreadsheets and word processors works flawlessly. NoteTab does accurate sorting instantly, lets you toggle WordWrap on and off, and has enough features to write a book.I use probably 2% of all the features in it, but I know what to click on for the rest. Bulleted List? Justifying text, HTML, convert HTML to text, whatever. It is all there. They have a free and a very low cost version. I have used it for about 15 years and am quite happy with it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The McGillicuddy's next door are inseparable. In fact, last night it took four state troopers and a dog to stop the fight. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Birds Out of the Garden By amy [5 Posts, 2 Comments] I love growing my summer garden in large containers. It's much easier to control the soil quality, fertilizer, and water. I keep them near my back door for easy reach from the kitchen. My only problem is that birds will not leave them alone. One perfect beautiful tomato after another pecked to pieces. My solution? I cut strips of low cost (I bought at my local Dollar Tree) silver metallic gift wrap and tied them to to the wooden tee pees that support the tomatoes. The birds seem frightened by them waving brightly in the sun. They have left the whole garden alone ever since. By Amy from MS Delta ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannikin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy , so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep at night do?" ___________________________________________________
Robin Williams Flag Tribute
____________________________________________________ Isaac was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of smarts and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives." Sherry replied, "Why thank you, dear!" ____________________________________________________ "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25." ____________________________________________________
25 Awesome photos

Today on June 21
1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at 
Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales.
1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when 
 New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it.
1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical 
 mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed 
 farmers to more than double their crop size.
1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent.
1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump 
 from an airplane.
1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the 
 Arctic to Black Sea.
1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from 
 the North Atlantic NATO fleet.
1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American 
 flag as a form of political protest was protected by the 
 First Amendment.
2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by 
 Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 
 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the 
 distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space.
2016  smiled.


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