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Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Sig!

Have FUN!

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Florida home invader got tenderized with his own baseball bat Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 1, in 1050 Hagar the Horrible's Great-Grandfather colonized what is now called Newfoundland, Canada. Rumor has it that all that remains is their drinking habits, pieces of ships, some bones and weapons. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. ---Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. --- George Burns ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When the family car developed a slight knock, Leroy asked his Betty-Sue she had bought prmium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always." said the wife. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth."
Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Flo for this one: The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ______________________________________________________ A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida home invader got tenderized with his own baseball bat Noah Jess Dassat, 33, of Santa Cruz, California A Florida burglar's plan to break into a Sarasota County home ended with the crook sustaining head injuries at the hand of his own weapon. Noah Jess Dassat, 33, of Santa Cruz, Calif., was arrested and charged on June 23 with four felony charges and one misdemeanor for armed burglary, battery and criminal mischief. According to North Port Police, Dassat broke into the home of a married couple and three children armed with a baseball bat. Once inside the house, officers said Dassat attacked a man inside the home. However, the man placed Dassat in a bear hug, and his wife grabbed the bat and tenderized the intruder. Dassat eventually managed to flee the house but was later apprehended by Charlotte County deputies after using a fake name at a Port Charlotte hospital. He is currently in the Charlotte County Jail and being held without bond. Three cheers for THAT Lady! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: McAfee coupon for next month? Dear Webby, you happen to know if the following offers can extend my current subscription? My Total Protection expires in August. Frank Dear Frank Unfortunately, that coupon is just for the announced 8 days. No rain checks. As far as I know, those coupon specials are normally just for new subscribers. You would have to unsub from your current deal, sacrifice a month, and then use the coupon as a newbie the next day. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A preacher said to the farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family ?" "No", he said, " they live two farms down ". "No,no, I mean are you lost ?" "No, I've been here thirty years." "I mean are you ready for Judgement Day?" "When is it ?" "It could be today or tomorrow ". "Well, when you find out for sure when it is , you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days !" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Cure for Gel Toothpaste Mess By bsteph1956 My husband makes a mess when using gel toothpaste. There always seems to be a big "glob" around the opening after he uses it. I wipe all of the old toothpaste off around the opening and use a Q-tip to apply baby oil around the cap and rim of the tube. It works very well and no more discussions with my otherwise "perfect" husband! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three residents at the Funny-Farm are at the doctor's office for their annual intelligence test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," he replies. The doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Easy," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." ___________________________________________________
Roger Whitaker
____________________________________________________ While digging a shaft into the German homeland, German scientists discovered small pieces of copper at 50 meters. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. The British ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. At a depth of 100 meters, they discovered small pieces of glass. Soon the British announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100, and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. The Israelis concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones. ____________________________________________________ A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. "You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them." "All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board." "Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. "Yeah," the farmer said. "There's a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him tobacco." "A ha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that half- wit!" "You ARE talkin' to him," said the farmer. ____________________________________________________
A real underground kingdom.

Today on July 1
0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a 
 Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions.
1050 Hagar the Horrible's Great-Grandfather colonized what
is now called Newfoundland, Canada. 
1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich.
1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard 
 of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked 
 Cadiz, Spain.
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt.
1847 The U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps.
1867 Canada became an independent dominion.
1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks.
1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made 
 out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA.
1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on 
 San Juan Hill in Cuba.
1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his 
 new "A" type alkaline storage batteries.
1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of
the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use
1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened 
 to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on 
 November 7, 1940.
1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the 
 Soviet Union.
1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding 
 federal income tax from paychecks.
1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near 
 Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem 
 the tide of the advancing North Korean army.
1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi
1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60
1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of
1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon
the death of her husband, Juan.
1979 Sony introduced the Walkman.
1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved.
1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation
Organization visited the Gaza Strip.
1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from 
 Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong 
 as a colony for 156 years.
2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show 
 their opposition to anti-subversion legislation.
2016  smiled.

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