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Today is Saturday, July 2

Have FUN!

Independence Day Sale
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Todays Bonehead Award: Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 2, in 1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially opened for business. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. --- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) "A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free." -- Nikos Kazantzakis (1885-1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!
Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ______________________________________________________ My cousin took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On her very first call, she introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." A man replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light! Did my dog leave some pee-mail on you ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man Ubers across Florida for sex with minor Michael Hoyman, 23, Port St Lucie, Florida A Florida man Ubered his way across the state, at a one-way fare of $248, to have sex with a minor, according to law enforcement here. However, it wasn't a child waiting behind this home's doors. Instead, a multi-agency team swarmed 23-year-old Michael Hoyman and arrested the Port St. Lucie man, charging him with obscene communication for traveling to meet a child after using a computer to lure that child, as well as cruelty toward a child for transmitting harmful information. Hoyman's arrest was one of 22 so far in a sex sting dubbed "Operation Cyber Guardian," which mirrors previous online operations in which undercover officers pose as teens or pre-teens and arrange to meet adults for sex. Two of the men arrested in this sting were registered sex offenders, and one was a registered sexual predator. At 150 miles, Hoyman's Uber ride across the Sunshine State was the farthest trek in this operation; six men were from Cape Coral. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Ezinefinder problem Dear Webby, Webby, Just a follow up on items. I did not cancel existing subscription. I just clicked on link for the Total Protection package and lo and behold I was only charged the $29.99 plus tax for total of $32.46. I figured it was worth a try and could always cancel if it did not work. McAfee confirmed the order and price. Secondly, I did not again receive your letter this morning (7/1) so I went to site and read it. For the forth day something is strange when I vote and get an odd response that does not let me click to confirm vote. There is a button to un-subscribe...almost a complete blank page from enzine. So if your votes have decreased this is perhaps the reason. I contacted Cox.net about the web mail and explained and after spending almost an hour finally got a tech in Omaha that walked me through how to hopefully correct the problem. She said that many times when people get tired of mail they do NOT un-subscribe, they only mark mail as SPAM. Hence this makes situation worse with ISP's. I am NOT saying this is the case with humor@webby.com but a 'blanket' statement. We'll see what happens going forward but I have a good feeling that the problem is now cured. Dear Frank Re McAfee: Make sure you don't have Auto-Renew on the old subscription! Otherwise you will end up with two. Yes, the Ezinefinder has serious problems again. Less than half the votes are counted, except for the ones for Daily Thrifty Fun. That is their own newsletter and the votes for that seem to be counted manually or hardwired into the program. It appears that none of the votes, that require email confirmation, are counted. Of the votes cast after logging in and selecting your favorites and then voting on those, not all, but most seem to be counted. You can write to support@cumuli.com and support@ezinefinder.com. They don't answer me. They also have a contact form. Maybe they will answer you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Johnny asked his father to explain the differences between irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered, he asked, "Can I speak to Bill, please?" "No! There's no one called Bill here," the person who answered the phone replied. His father hung up. "That's irritation," he said. He picked up the phone again, dialled the same number, and asked for Bill a second time. "No, there's no one here called Bill. Go away. If you call again I'll call the cops," the person replied. His father hung up and said, "That's aggravation." "Then what's frustration?" asked Johnny. His father picked up the phone and dialled the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Bill. Have there been any messages for me?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Wood Cutting Board By hopeful [27 Posts, 135 Comments] 2 found this helpful I use baking soda and/or vinegar to clean my cutting board. Occasionally I oil it with cooking oil. I have used the same hand made wooden cutting board for over 40 years, and it is still in good condition. By Karenhope from Salem, OR ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in half a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison a week ago. I was in prison for car theft. Yesterday I blew my probation by getting drunk and now I have to go back in for another two months." The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!" ___________________________________________________
Bandaloop - kinda awesome!
____________________________________________________ One criminal who was accused of several murders and robbery was sentenced to death by the judge of the court. It was decided that the criminal will be shot by a firing squad on a particular day. On that very day, the weather was very foul. It rained cats and dogs. There was not sufficient light to see anything clearly. But duty is duty so the captain of the squad along with his five soldiers took the criminal and started walking to the spot. On the way the criminal told the Captain, "See,what a weather! I am not afraid of death, but this day is not suitable for dying. What do you think?" "Truly, the weather is very foul", the Captain replied, "But you are fortunate as you are only going one way, just think how soaked we are going to get! We have to walk all the way back!" ____________________________________________________ A southern woman was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell - me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is - m - ass out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hat's on crooked." ____________________________________________________
Brilliant inventions which will change your life.

Today on July 2
1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed 
 Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany.
1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a 
 year of siege.
1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of 
 Marston Moor near York, England.
1776 Richard Henry Lee’s resolution that the American
colonies "are, and of right ought to be, free and
independent States"  was adopted by the Continental
1850 B.J. Lane patented the gas mask.
1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially
opened for business.
1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on 
 imperial lands.
1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared
in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the 
world at the equator.
1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening,
dropped land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied
1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air
Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness
accounts led to speculation that it might have been an
alien spacecraft.
1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in 
 response to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize 
 the Marine base at Con Thien.
1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not
 inherently cruel or unusual.
1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft
registration for males 18 years of age.
1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth.
1985 General Motors announced that it was installing
electronic road maps as an option in some of its higher-
priced cars.
1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, 
 Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the
world's richest man. In 1999, he was worth about $77
1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that
alleged that U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill
American defectors during the Vietnam War.
2016  smiled.

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