How reliable is rental car booking over the web? 

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Today is Monday, July 11

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Todays Bonehead Award: Florida mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions seawall Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10, in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history.
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______________________________________________________ "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." --- Benjamin Franklin "Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams." --- Mary Kelly ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from trees demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto the shoulders of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist his head off. The man was treated at a local hospital for a sprained neck. [He should consider himself lucky that the monkey wasn't trained to retrieve walnuts!]
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Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said: "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!" ______________________________________________________ An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions Jennifer Belk, 26, Keystone Heights, Florida A mother is accused of abandoning her child in historic St. Augustine on the Fourth of July. The St. Augustine Police Department said they received complaints Monday about Jennifer Belk, 26, of Keystone Heights. Deputies found her walking along the Bridge of Lions, where she admitted to leaving her child near the seawall. When asked why, Belk told deputies, "It's legal for me to kill him when he is inside me, but not when he is out?" The child was found by officers, and wasn't injured, authorities said. The Florida Department of Children and Families was notified and took custody of the child. Belk was arrested and charged with child neglect. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: How reliable is rental car booking over the web? Dear Webby, how reliable is it to reserve a rental car over the web ? You probably travel a lot. Which chain would you recommend? And what tips have you got? Alexa Dear Alexa I have not travelled in the last few years. Reserving a car over the net is probably THE most reliable way to do it. You get all the papers in email and can print them out long before you ever pack your stuff. I have tried all the big chains at one time or another, but the company that I am the happy with is National. At large locations like Las Vegas book something small and cheap. Booking over the web gives you an automatic free upgrade to the next class. Then, when you go pick it out, they tell you to pick whatever you want, that is freshly washed and cleaned. Keep in mind, though, bigger vehicles are more comfortable, but use more fuel. Don't jump too many classes up! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Three guys, a Newfie, a Quebecker and a New Yorker had shore leave from their jobs on a tanker. They were walking along the dunes a mile from the beach. As it happens so often in this type of joke, they came across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," said the Genie. The New Yorker said: "I want to have the biggest @#$% tanker in the world and I want it right @#$%& here!" With a blink of the Genie's eye and an ear shattering boom, a half mile long tanker landed stuck in the sand dunes in front of him. Seems the Genie was not impressed by the profanity. Next the Quebecker spoke up: "I love my home, La Belle Provence Quebec, but it is being ruined by tourists who don't even speak French. I want a wall all around it that is impenetrable to tourists." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Quebec, so tall that they can see it from where they are on the shores of Newfoundland. The Newfie then asked: "I'm very curious. Please tell me about this wall !" The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 100 feet thick and completely surrounds the Quebec; no person can get in or out---virtually impenetrable." "Hmm, well, in that case, fill up the space within them thar walls with Screech, and have a tap for Newfies right here." (Screech is Newfie Moonshine, a VERY alcoholic liquid that tastes like a combination of bitter rum barrel drippings and JP4.) ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Cleaning Tree Sap From Hair Believe it or not, peanut butter will do the job! I used to use it on my kids' hands when they got pitch on them - it is non-toxic and it really does work. (12/27/2006) By Chris My little girl had sap in her hair yesterday. I was able to remove it by rubbing olive oil (less than a teaspoon) on the sapped area until it dissolved the sap (a quite interesting smell; like a tree salad), and then shampoo her hair at bath time. (06/08/2007) By Jose When I was logging or cutting firewood I used to carry some OFF in the warm season or WD40 the rest of the year. They soften the sap in half a minute, so that it can be wiped onto the pocket rag or the jeans. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms.Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell the world just what enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" The Kuwaiti woman frowned and replied: "Land mines." ___________________________________________________
we could learn something here!
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert: A lot of money is tainted. It aint yours and it aint mine. ____________________________________________________ A boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, the father replied, "Oh, probably less than half of them." ____________________________________________________
32 people having a worse day than you.

Today on July 11
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman
Emperor in Germany. 

1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and became head of
the church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic
Church by Pope Clement VII. 

1708 The French were defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in
the Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of

1742 A papal decree was issued condemning the disciplining
actions of the Jesuits in China. 

1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the
Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. They got the
but continued attacking merchant ships.

1798 The U.S. Marine Corps was formally re-established by
"An Act for Establishing a Marine Corps" passed by the U.S.
Congress. The act also created the U.S. Marine Band. The
Marines were first commissioned by the Continental Congress
on November 10, 1775. 

1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury,
Alexander Hamilton, was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr
in a duel. 

1864 In the U.S., Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal
Early began an invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back
the next day. 

1934 U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the
first American chief executive to travel through the Panama
Canal while in office. 

1955 The U.S. Air Force Academy was dedicated in Colorado
at Lowry Air Base. 

1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent
through the Telstar I satellite. 

1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in

1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to
Earth. It burned up in the atmosphere and showered debris
over the Indian Ocean and Australia. 

1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers
for stitches on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he
thought he may have to re-operate. 

1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the
United States and Vietnam. 

1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and
dropped off emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson
after she had discovered a lump in her breast. Nelso was
the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Center . 

2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition,
was released. 

2000 Liam Neeson broke his pelvis after hitting a deer with
his Harley Davidson motorcycle. 

2008 Apple released the iPhone 3G.

2016  smiled.

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