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Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, August 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Todays Bonehead Award: Jilted Palm Coast man goes gunning for ex-'swinger' partners Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 2, in 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire making cattle farming in the Wild West economically feasible. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry. --- Calvin Trillin (1935 - ) An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. --- Friedrich Engels (1820 - 1895) "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." --- Edward Abbey (1927-1989) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, Stay here and be very QUIET. Ill be across the field. Half an hour later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. What's wrong? the father asked. I told you to be quiet. The son answered, Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' I guess I just panicked.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Missy for this one: Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine. After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed. "Ninety dollars, Ma'am," he answered. "Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you Maine people, you're always trying to overcharge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not here to be gypped out of our hard earned money?" "In Winter we raise porcupines, Ma'am." ______________________________________________________ Grand Canyon storm From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scott Hurley, 45, Brewster Lane, Palm Coast Florida Jilted Palm Coast man goes gunning for ex-'swinger' partners A jilted sex "swinger" was arrested after he fired multiple shots at one member of a Bunnell couple with whom he and his wife had been sex partners, according to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office. Scott Hurley, 45, of Brewster Lane, Palm Coast, was charged with two counts aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in connection with the Tuesday night incident. He was released on $3,000 bail, records show. According to an arrest report, the victim told officers that Hurley fired about five gunshots at him and a friend as they were standing in front of his Papaya Street home just before 11:30 p.m. Tuesday. He said Hurley then sped off in his Honda Civic and circled the block, passing the home a second time with a friend in the passenger seat. The Bunnell man told deputies Hurley has been harassing him and his family since he and his wife decided to discontinue their “swinger” relationship. Reports show deputies also responded to the Papaya Street home Monday night after Hurley followed the couple home from the Palm Coast Wal- Mart. Officers reported finding several cardboard boxes riddled with bullet holes set up in the road in front of the couple’s home. Hurley denied firing any shots, but told deputies he went to the home to try to lure the Bunnell man into driving his car, saying he knew his driver’s license was suspended. Hurley said he was upset because of a previous argument and the plan was part of a ruse to get the man arrested. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Amy RE: Mail not getting out Dear Webby, Dear Webby Almost all of my friends and all my clients claim that they are not getting my mail. When I send a test mail to myself, it works OK. What am doing wrong? Amy Dear Amy You are using a yahoo.com email. Because Yahoo refuses to do anything effective to slow down the spam coming from there, all the big blacklists have them blacklisted. Most of the anti-spam programs USE those blacklists to pre-clean people's mails. Your mail gets trashed, unread. I only saw your mail because I was checking mail on the server. As soon as you get a legitimate address, your mail will get through again. If you don't have a computer at home and just use the one at school or work, you can use any decent web mail. Many ISP's offer it to their clients at no extra charge, and for $1 - $5 to people who are not dial-up or hosting clients. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" Suzy cried out. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher. "Good and Dead!" yelled Little Johnny. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Rinse and Reuse Coffee Filters By tootic [2 Posts, 19 Comments] I use the natural brown unbleached coffee filters for my electric coffee pot and the non-electric one cup cone coffee maker over and over again. These can be carefully rinsed and air-dried to reuse and still work like new. The inexpensive white ones will fall apart, but the better quality ones should work also. The one cup filter is rinsed out while still in the plastic holder because these are more delicate due of the seam at the bottom. Then hang upside down on a wooden spoon standing up in dish strainer. The coffee basket ones can be hung over the dish strainer edge to dry and then gently placed back in basket pressing sides to fit snug enough to function like new. Keeps paper out of landfill plus stretches your budget. You'll be surprised how many times you can reuse before discarding. By tootic from Plainville, CT ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man from Edinburgh wrote to an English editor, "If you don't stop printing those derogatory Scottish jokes, most of which imply we're cheap, I'm going to quit stealing your stupid magazine." ___________________________________________________
The Mirror
____________________________________________________ Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!" ------------------- Due to double-booking it used to be just as bad at the clinic, where my doctor is. So I simply slouched down and had a nap. Other people did teh same. Management got the hint when a whole bunch of us were snoring in concert. They are keeping the wait time down to about 15 minutes now. ____________________________________________________ A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!" ____________________________________________________
The last frontier, our incredible oceans.

Today on August 2

1776 Members of the Continental Congress began adding their
signatures to the Declaration of Independence. 

1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received a
joint patent for their nail-making machine. They were the
first father-son pair to receive a patent. 

1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were
installed along streets. 

1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire making cattle farming
in the Wild West economically feasible. 

1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator. 

1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first
showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the
combining of picture and sound for movies. 

1938 Bright yellow baseballs were used in a major league
baseball game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the St. Louis
Cardinals. It was hoped that the balls would be easier to
see. 

1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt
urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program. 

1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act
prohibited civil service employees from taking an active
part in political campaigns. 

1943 The U.S. Navy patrol torpedo boat, PT-109, sank after
being attacked by a Japanese destroyer. The boat was under
the command of Lt. John F. Kennedy. 

1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded. 

1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese
attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin as if they
owned the place. 

1987 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was re-released. The
film was 50 years old at the time of its re-release. 

1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq
claimed that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding
production quotas set by OPEC. 

1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force
officers. The two were said to have been caught spying on
military sites. 

2016  smiled.


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