Music too big for CD 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, August 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!
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Todays Bonehead Award: Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 5, in 1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population was approximately 250. Murders were two per year. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Just think, if there was no such thing as marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no fault at all! --- Socratex A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Barb There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with rats. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their rats. After much prayer and Consideration, they determined the rats were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the rats had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the rats drown themselves. The rats liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many rats showed up the following week. The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they Humanely trapped their rats and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the rats were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptised all the rats and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They caught one rat and circumcised him. They haven't seen one since.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
WHY I AM SO TIRED I'm tired. For a couple of years I've been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins and dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked. The population of the USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes! ______________________________________________________ Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry...we still have one engine left." Nancy turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here forever!!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bonifacio Oseguera-Gonzalez, 29, Portland, Oregon Mexican held in Oregon farm murders had been deported 6 times previously. A Mexican national charged with aggravated murder in the shooting deaths of three people at a rural Oregon blueberry farm had been deported six times, most recently in 2013, according to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Bonifacio Oseguera-Gonzalez, 29, has no significant prior criminal convictions, but ICE asked Oregon authorities to turn him over to them if he's released from custody in the current case, the agency said in a statement to The Associated Press on Friday. Oseguera-Gonzalez pleaded not guilty to three counts of aggravated murder and one count of attempted murder Tuesday in Marion County Superior Court. Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump tweeted about the case Friday, saying the suspect "should have never been here." Two men who lived at the blueberry farm in the Willamette Valley town of Woodburn, in northwest Oregon, died at the scene of Monday's shooting. The third victim, the girlfriend of another resident who was not home at the time, was pronounced dead at a hospital. A third man was seriously wounded but survived and is able to speak with investigators. The Oregon State Police arrested Oseguera-Gonzalez a few hours later on Interstate 84 in the Columbia River Gorge, about 100 miles northeast of Woodburn. He acknowledged to authorities in an interview that he shot four people, according to a probable cause statement. The victims were identified as Ruben Rigoberto-Reyes, 60; Edmundo Amaro-Bajonero, 26; and Katie Gildersleeve, 30, of Logsden. Authorities have released few details about the case, including the relationship between Oseguera-Gonzalez and the victims, and have declined to specify a motive. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mellie RE: Music too big for CD Dear Webby, I've gotten alot of good tips from you, and for that I thank you. Here's a problem I'm hoping that someone can help me solve. I have several audio files on my hard drive that's too large for the standard 80 minute CD. Is there any way to split those files so that I can put these onto disks? I do have them zipped and backed up, but I'd rather put it on a disk so I can play them in a CD player. Any suggestions?? I'm running xp on my system. Thanks mellie Dear Mellie If those files don't fit onto a CD, then they came from a DVD. There are quite a few programs that will let you put a DVD or parts of one onto regular CD's. Don't buy any of the crap advertised by spammers. There are plenty of those programs available for free, and most likely the spammers are just trying to con you into paying for one of the many free ones. The general term for those programs is "Audio Ripper", even though they work for movies too. Originally they were used to "rip off" the music from Music DVD's and make bootleg copies. The name stuck. Just google for "Audio Ripper" and pick one you like. There is a huge selection. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: New hubby: "I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card- playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments? "His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Save Egg Shells for Planting Tomatoes By Litter Gitter [175 Posts, 600 Comments] To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. For 2 dozen tomato plants, I use 2 gallons of crushed egg shells. It takes me a year to save up that many. Whenever I use eggs, I rinse the sticky stuff out of the shells and set them on a paper towel to drain. After they dry, they are ready to crush and add to the bag. I usually let them build up in the bag and then put them in a bowl and crush with my hands and fingers. (This also buffs my rough skin and makes it smooth.) I store the bag in the pantry until spring planting time. If you want to try this, you need to start saving your egg shells. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant,it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, "How much of a wait?" The woman looked up and said, "About ten minutes." A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loud- speaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready." ___________________________________________________
Pinwheel puppies
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Deana for this one: When I went with my stepdaughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended my stepdaughter apply early to improve her chances for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted, "because of the stature of the school." After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose this school?" "Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend used to go here, and now he works at the McDonalds across the street. I can get a free ride to this University, but wold have to take the bus to the one on the other side of town." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Cindy for this one: About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four-year-old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?" "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?" ____________________________________________________
The winners of the National Geographic Travel Photographer awards of 2016.
>From Barb ____________________________________________________

Today on August 5

1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population
was approximately 250. Murders were two per year.

1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income
tax. The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime
measure was rescinded in 1872. 

1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Adm.
David G. Farragut were led into Mobile Bay, Alabama. 

1914 The first electric traffic signal lights were installed
in Cleveland, Ohio. 

1921 The first play-by-play broadcast of a baseball game was
done by Harold Arlin. KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA described
the action between the Pirates and Philadelphia. 

1921 The cartoon "On the Road to Moscow", by Rollin Kirby,
was published in the "New York World". It was the first
cartoon to win a Pulitzer Prize. 

1923 Henry Sullivan became the first American to swim across
the English Channel. 

1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in
Warsaw. 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 

1953 During the Korean conflict prisoners were exchanged at
Panmunjom. The exchange was labeled Operation Big Switch. 

1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty was signed by the United
States, Britain, and the Soviet Union. The treaty banned
nuclear tests in space, underwater, and in the atmosphere. 

1964 U.S. aircraft bombed North Vietnam after North
Vietnamese boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of
Tonkin. The nerve of them! Objecting to shelling from ships!

1966 In New York, groundbreaking for the construction of the
original World Trade Center began. 

1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars.
Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 

1974 U.S. President Nixon said that he expected to be
impeached. Nixon had ordered the investigation into the
Watergate break-in to halt. 

1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking air
traffic controllers. 

1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly
created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The
works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year

1989 In Honduras, five Central American presidents began
meeting to discuss the timetable for the dismantling of the
Nicaraguan Contra bases. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the
Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. 

1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic
congressional leaders to find out if the release of American
hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush
presidential election. 

1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about
secret biological weapons. 

1992 Federal civil rights charges were filed against four
Los Angeles police officers. The officers had been acquitted
on California State charges. Two of the officers were
convicted and jailed on violation of civil rights charges. 

1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein began not cooperating
with U.N. weapons inspectors. 

2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. The
consulate was closed after local authorities removed large
concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of the
building to normal traffic. 

2009 Google purchased its first public company. The company
was the video software maker On2 Technologies. 

2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had
captured photographic evidence of possible liquid water on
Mars during warm seasons. 

2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station
on a mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar-powered
spacecraft to go to Jupiter. 

2011 Standard & Poor's Financial Services lowered the United
States' AAA credit rating by one notch to AA-plus. 

2016  smiled.

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