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Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, August 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!
DearWebby With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: 34 Year Old Victorville Woman Convicted for Scamming 78 Year Old Man out of a quarter Million bucks Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 12, in 1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery by Joseph Lister. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "To escape criticism--do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." --- Elbert Hubbard "Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship." --- Zeuxis (~400 B.C.) "The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music." --- TV "Silk Stalkings" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe. After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father?" The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know officer, that's what they're fighting about."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Talking about athelics... Why Athletes Can't (Shouldn't) Have Real Jobs 1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." 4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." 5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." 6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." 7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle." 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." 11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." 12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,I don't know and I don't care.'" 13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." 14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye." ______________________________________________________ "Doctor, My husband thinks he is a chicken." "Oh no - how long has this been going on?" "About a year!" "A year! Why did you wait so long to come see me?" "Well, we needed the eggs." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim for this picture: From Jim ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shirley Chrissy Urick, 34, Victorville, California 34 Year Old Victorville Woman Convicted for Scamming 78 Year Old Man A conviction was obtained for a Victorville woman who swindled $200,000 from an elderly man in 2013. Shirley Chrissy Urick, 34, met the victim, a 78-year-old man, in a grocery store parking lot in the summer of 2013. She befriended him and told him her name was Gina Lee. With a series of clever lies, she convinced him she was in urgent need of money and would pay him back. This led to 16 months of "loans" from the victim to Urick. The victim even paid some of her living expenses. Urick was arrested in January, 2016. Deputy District Attorney Elena Abramson of the Elder Abuse Section prosecuted the case. Urick may receive up to eight years in state prison when she is sentenced on August 23. A 34-year-old woman was found guilty Tuesday of stealing more than $200,000 from an elderly man in a sweetheart scam, the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office announced. Shirley Chrissy Urick, of Victorville, was convicted of three counts of theft from an elder, and jurors also found two excessive loss allegations to be true as well. Deputy District Attorney Elena Abramson of the Elder Abuse Section prosecuted the case. In July 2013, Urick met the 78-year-old victim in a grocery store parking lot and befriended him. Using the fake name "Gina Lee," Urick told him a series of lies, saying she needed money and would pay him back. Over the next 16 months, the victim loaned Urick tens of thousands of dollars and also paid for some of her living expenses. After an investigation by the Los Angeles Police Department's Topanga Division, Urick was arrested in January. Urick is scheduled to be sentenced on Aug. 25 and faces up to eight years in state prison. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Pennie RE: Cursor Color Dear Webby, How do I change the cursor color? I have Windows 10. Pennie Dear Pennie Hit START Control Panel Ease of Access "Make the mousie easier to see" In there hit the radio button beside "Large Inverting" That gives you a white cursor when it is on something black, a black cursor when it is on somthing white, a yello cursor, when it is on something blue, and so on. It automatically inverts the color to make it easier to see. Try to avoid the "Extra Large inverting cursor". That one seems to be a bit buggy and slow. "Large Inverting" works well. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A class in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Plant Matchsticks with Peppers By Judy Pariser S. [138 Posts, 134 Comments] If you put a couple of matchsticks in the hole before you put your pepper plant in, you will be providing the plant with phosphorus, and you will get a more robust plant. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ Judy hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," Judy replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" Judy said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $3,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger." ___________________________________________________
tractor square dance
____________________________________________________ The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life, finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she has a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?" "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks... And believe me, it helps me sleep at night!" ____________________________________________________ One day Fran took her 5-year-old son with her to visit her friend, who worked in my office. Everyone here knew Fran, and just like any visitor, she was offered a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees went to make more coffee, Fran's son followed her and asked, "What are you doing?" "I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered. Imagine the surprise, and laughter when we heard her son say, "Wow! You know how to make moonshine ?" ____________________________________________________
What an ingenious idea! A puzzle book, you have to solve the puzzle before you can open the next page to read.

Today on August 12
1676 "King Phillip's War" came to an end with the killing of
Indian chief King Phillip. The war between the Indians and
the Europeans lasted for two years. 

1851 Isaac Singer was issued a patent on the double-headed
sewing machine. 

1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery
by Joseph Lister. 

1877 Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the
first sound recording. 

1898 The Spanish-American War was ended with the signing of
the peace protocol. The U.S. acquired Guam, Puerto Rico and
the Philippines. Hawaii was also annexed. 

1915 "Of Human Bondage" by William Somerset Maugham was
first published. 

1918 Regular airmail service began between Washington, DC,
and New York City. 

1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. Judy
Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow." The movie premiered in Hollywood on August

1953 The Soviet Union secretly tested its first hydrogen

1960 The balloon satellite Echo One was launched by the U.S.
from Cape Canaveral, FL. It was the first communications

1962 The Soviet Union launched Pavel Popovich into orbit.
Popovich and Andrian Nikolayev, who was launched a day
before, both landed on August 15. 

1977 The space shuttle Enterprise passed its first solo
flight test. 

1981 IBM unveiled its first PC. 

1986 It was announced by NASA that they had selected a new
rocket design for the space shuttle. The move was made in an
effort at correcting the flaws that were believed to have
been responsible for the Challenger disaster. 

1988 The movie "The Last Temptation of Christ" opened. 

1992 The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced that the North
American Free Trade Agreement had been created after 14
months of negotiations. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton lifted the ban on rehiring air
traffic controllers that had been fired for going on strike
in 1981. 

1998 Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion as restitution
to World War II Holocaust victims. 

1999 Hang Thu Thi Ngyuen shot an arrow from a bow with her
feet on "Guinness World Records: Primetime" and hit a target
that was 16 feet and 5 inches away. 

2000 The Russian nuclear submarine Kursk sank and its 118-
man crew died during naval exercises in the Barents Sea. 

2004 The California Supreme Court voided the nearly 4,000
same-sex marriages that had been sanctioned in San Francisco
earlier in the year. 

2008 Russia halted its five-day assault on Georgia. 

2016  smiled.

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