Spreadsheet problem when pasting numbers from WORD 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, September 8

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar Doused Puppy In Purple Paint After 
Breaking Into Massachusetts Residence
Details at Boneheads
Today, September 8, in 
1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent
European settlement in North America at present-day St.
Augustine, FL. 

More of what happened on this day in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Did you ever see the customers in health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific! --- Bill Cosby. You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sent in by Linda: 2000 Mile Ambulance trip to die at home Ambulance brings man from B.C. to Saskatchewan to fulfil dying wish 2,000-kilometre trip from Victoria to Moose Jaw satisfies Jim Jeffery's desire to be home. ______________________________________________________ A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a fishing rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He replied, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." ______________________________________________________ From my Lilemor I Love this orange rosebush by the kitchen window. ( a just trimmed jasmine hedge in the background). Thought I’d share. ~ Lillemor ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Felix Reagan, Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts Burglar Doused Puppy In Purple Paint After Breaking Into Massachusetts Residence After breaking into a home on Martha’s Vineyard, a Massachusetts man removed a four-month-old puppy from its crate and then doused the animal in purple paint, according to police who busted the man on a variety of criminal charges. Investigators allege that Felix Reagan burglarized a home in Oak Bluffs Saturday afternoon and later stole an automobile that he subsequently crashed. The burglary victim, Tamara Gemme-Crawford, said that a ground level window had been forced in and several items were taken from her residence. Additionally, cops noted, “the victim’s dog had been painted with purple paint.” In a Facebook post directed at Reagan, Gemme-Crawford wrote that, “you took my 4 mo. old puppy out of the safety of his crate where he was no threat to you and poured paint all over him, you put him outside in a strange area like a dirty shoe, and for That I will NEVER forgive you !!” When police received a description of the disheveled burglar from a neighbor, they immediately suspected Reagan, who was busted in June for a similar break-in. When cops located Reagan, he was in possession of “prescription pills, a driver’s license and credit cards” taken from the burglarized home. Reagan (seen above) was charged with breaking and entering, auto theft, destruction of property, cruelty to animals, narcotics possession, and assault on a police officer. In her Facebook post, Gemme-Crawford called Reagan a “cruel low life animal abuser,” and pledged, “I will be there in the court to watch you cry like a baby when you are not allowed to go home!!!!” Gemme-Crawford's dog, a border collie named Grayson, was in his crate in a closed, air-conditioned room. “He had water and his toys and he was not a threat to anyone,” she said. Gemme-Crawford surmised that the dog--who was not injured by the paint--was barking since Reagan appeared to have given the animal a bag of apple fritters before dousing him with paint found in a cabinet. Reagan, Gemme-Crawford added, then “threw him out the door.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: BF RE: Spreadsheet does not like data from WORD Dear Webby, When adding up columns in an old spreadsheet, after I pasted data from a WORD doc, I get weird results. Also, I notice that some of the numbers are not lined up the same way as the others. How can I fix that ? BF Dear BF Some of those numbers are not real numbers but just text. If there was a space in front or the back when it was pasted, then the spreadsheet treated it as text. Just highlight the cell and retype the number. That is usually faster than looking for an extra space in the front OR back. When the number lines up with the other numbers, then it will count correctly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Cassie walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register she saw a display of caps with WWJD printed on all of them. She was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so she asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. Cassie thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I don't think Jesus would pay $17.95 for one of these caps." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com WWI Spice Cake By Paige P. [3 Posts, 3 Comments] This recipe contains no eggs, milk or butter. This is an authentic World War I cake that was popular when rationing was in full force in England. It's a dense spice cake that goes with pretty much anything. Coffee, ice cream, a cold glass of milk, hot chocolate, well, you get the idea. Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 1 hour Total Time: 1 hour 30 minutes Yield: 8 slices Ingredients: 1 cup water 1/3 cup shortening 1 cup brown sugar 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg 2 cups flour 1/4 tsp salt 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp baking powder Steps: Combine water, shortening, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and brown sugar into small saucepan. Bring to boil and cook 3 minutes. Allow to cool. Meanwhile, combine flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda. When cooked mixture cools, combine with dry ingredients. Mix until smooth. Pour into greased 1.5 quart baking dish or loaf pan. Bake in 350 degree F oven for one hour. Source: I found it online, can't remember when or where. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ A man goes to see the doctor because he has a sore throat. The nurse tells him to take all his clothes off and sit on the bench in the hall. The man tries to protest, but the nurse doesn't listen and just repeats the same orders then leaves the area. The man complies with her orders and joins another naked man sitting on the bench. The man starts complaining to the man already sitting there, that he only has a sore throat and doesn't understand why he has to take all his clothes off. The man who was already sitting on the bench nude, looks at the other man and says "You think that's bad, I'm just here to deliver the roofing bill." ___________________________________________________
ballerina magician
____________________________________________________ During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at university. "Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester." ____________________________________________________ Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it." "I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?" "If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family." Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. ____________________________________________________
Ever heard of spider frost? Gives me shivers!

Today on September 8 in
1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent
European settlement in North America at present-day St.
Augustine, FL. 

1664 The Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, who
then renamed it New York. 

1866 The first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in
Chicago, IL. The parents were James and Jennie Bushnell. 

1892 An early version of "The Pledge of Allegiance" appeared
in "The Youth's Companion." 

1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by the
Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor on
September 19 giving all women in New Zealand the right to

1935 U.S. Senator Huey P. Long, "The Kingfish" of Louisiana
politics, was shot and mortally wounded. He died two days

1945 In Washington, DC, a bus equipped with a two-way radio
was put into service for the first time. 

1945 Bess Myerson of New York was crowned Miss America. She
was the first Jewish contestant to win the title. 

1951 A peace treaty with Japan was signed by 48 other nations
in San Francisco, CA. 

1952 The Ernest Hemingway novel "The Old Man and the Sea" was

1960 NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL,
was dedicated by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The
facility had been activated in July earlier that year. 

1966 NBC-TV aired the first episode of "Star Trek" entitled
"The Man Trap". The show was canceled on September 2, 1969. 

1974 U.S. President Ford granted an unconditional pardon to
former U.S. President Nixon. 

1975 In Boston, MA, public schools began their court-ordered
citywide busing program amid scattered incidents of violence.

1997 America Online acquired CompuServe. 

1999 Russia's Mission Control switched off the Mir space
station's central computer and other systems to save energy
during a planned six months of unmanned flights. 

2015 British researchers announced that evidence of a larger
version of Stonehenge had been located about 2 miles from the
Stonehenge location. There were 90 buried stones that had
been found by ground penetrating radar. 

2016  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 677 )

<<First <Back | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | Next> Last>>